Well it's been over 2 years since our last meeting with the OW in court. Yep in court. That's the last place the Xws saw the OW and the 1st time I saw her up close. Does she still look like a duck??!?!?? Well she sure quacks a lot. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

For those newer to MB, just a short recap. d/d NOv 2000, A since August 2000, Ws had a few ONS b4 then hooked up with PBR (let's call her psycho babble rabbit). PBR claimed preggo 3x w/o proof....even asked for $$ and claimed t/b preggo with a girl being supposed preggo about 6 weeks. Amazing. PBR claimed the WS commited 'emotional adultery' against her during one of his M recovery attempts and even phoned me to inform me that she was married to him and I was not. Amazing again!!! OW attempted to plan their wedding the same month as our wedding anniversary.... was she trying ot replace me or just had weird timing? Well she made sure that for at least 2 years she called on our annvisary day and made sure she talked with me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> The fog was thick on this end of the world and I needed to get out. WS tried several times to break it off with PBR but always managed to get dragged back into the pig pen.

Fast forwad to August 2003.......here are excepts from a letter from the OW to me, my reponse was to forward a copy of this letter to the WS w/o any note from me, then then WS and his response as a Xws and finally my response to him. Why do I share this? Well...... it may help, at the very least it w/b one good read.

Here goes:

1. The letter from the OW (while I was on vacation at my parent's house):

Dear L,

I'm sorry to hear that your mother is dying and that
your cousin died. Hopefully, your last visit to see
them will be memorable.

In response to your e-mail, I don't think it was
necessary to call me names or to tell me lies about
[the WS]. Why didn't you show your e-mail to him? I
asked him if he wanted to see your e-mail, because he
couldn't believe what I was reading... he didn't want
it. [The WS] already knows about this letter. And,
he's been nice to me, although I know he is worried.
I've already explained it to him several days ago when
he came over to have dinner. I told him he could have
a copy if he wanted. He said no. And, of course,
we've been talking about it a lot otherwise. Tuesday
was our last day for saying we loved each other. I
don't plan on letting him back into my life anymore.
He can't seem to turn himself around. You know what I
mean, you wanted him to be honest too. I don't expect
anything from him. (but he expects a lot from me)
I don't mind letting him go completely (no friendship)
if you're not well & need him to help you. He says
that your health is poor & you can't do a lot of
things that he has to cover for you. I'm sorry to
hear about that. Thus on Thursday, he had finished
the fencing & gate he wanted to build for me, so that
he would be done with all of his house projects here &
of course, shouldn't find any reason to come back.
He already knows that I need to clear the air. It's
only fair since you've done the same, without a
quarrel in reply from me. I didn't want to hurt your
feelings by responding to the antagonistic things you
wrote about me so I shrugged it off. But, I know how
it feels to need to write & to get things out... the
way that you had done. It does feel good in some
respects, to finally let things go. I look forward to
moving on.

Every time I go forward with my life, [the WS] returns to
be nice and affectionate. I can't do that anymore.
So, you need to help me by working things out with him
for real this time. That's why I need to clear this
up once & for all with you. Keith doesn't understand
why I need to put an end to everything like this. I
want to stop the continual pattern where I am not
allowed to date other people or to go on with my life.
Keith is very possessive & jealous for me. His
jealousy scares me. He can't let go of me completely
and tries to spy on me, like on this personal ad site
where he paid for a gold account last year. Keith is
free for you to pursue again without, at least,
worrying about me being available. I will not be
available. I don't know about his other
relationships, if it's true what you had wrote. But,
I do know that he did contact & tried to find a new
lover last year after we'd broken up. "xxxx" was
his account, (where he had advertised in AFF) & his
ad said that he had reasons to cheat in his marriage.
He told me that he was going back to you, but instead
he was looking for a new lover. That surprised me.
So, don't worry L, he has cheated on me too. I
have been hurt by him too. He had plagued me with his
suspicions also, which wore me out. I have only his
word that he has been on the futon for two years. He
said he had been faithful to me ever since your
extreme attempt to alarm him with self -destruction
(suicide). He wasn't sure if it was real, but since
his brother went through it, it really shook him up &
he's never recovered since then. But, that was two
years ago. I hope you're better now. I guess I
never really believed that once a cheater, always a
cheater until now.

I can no longer protect [the WS], nor comply to his
wishes to maintain his "charade" (his words not mine)
with you and son. [The WS's] threats, and I mean angry
words of what he's going to do to hurt me, is all I
can take. Saying he's going to "f__k" me up, or that
he was going to throw all his things on my lawn & kill
himself, was really psychotic. He has been extremely
frustrated that he can't leave you amiably. I also
cannot keep waiting for him to be honest, I don't
enjoy roller coaster rides. Every time he had
opportunity or option to come clean, he would pass it
up. It's like that classic story we see on films.
Okay, so you were a fool, & I was fool. We're even.
He may have had good intentions, but for years he
didn't have the courage to be real. Every time I
walked away, there he was again on the phone calling
me. [The WS] cannot continue to split himself in half
for two lives, as he wished he could (his words).
(One is for love, one is for obligation.) It can
cave him in. He has to stay with you & son, I don't
want him around. I think he said he was ready to let
go of everything, too. But, we've been through this
before, & writing this letter should prove to him that
I'm utterly serious. But, L I hope that you
don't throw the towel in. He needs you. You are his
KH connection. I too wish that he'd return to KH,
where he really can be supported & influenced to be an
honest guy again. He may not be perfect, but he
always meant well. He wanted options to come to me,
in case you drove him away again or really allowed him
to leave. That's a dream. I don't want to be his
option anymore. I have to take care of myself & my
own health & life. [The WS] created this situation, and
he has to clean it up like a responsible adult. I had
no power over his choices as much as I disagreed. I
never condoned his choices which led us to arguments.
He's stubborn you know.

I am merely getting things off of my chest, no more
and no less. I'm not trying to tell you how to feel.

I've heard many things about you, but I don't know
you. So, I don't know if any of it was accurate.
But, I make my own decisions. I think for myself.
I've been trying to encourage him to stay with his
family for a long time. It was up to him to do the
right thing. I did not want him by default, which was
why I made it difficult for him to come to me when he
was walking out. I insisted that the decision between
you & him, be based on honest facts & mutual
understanding. He told me, ethically, morally &
honestly, he should leave you & son. But, you know
him, he cares too much about helpless people. He may
not had felt guilty in seeing someone else, but he was
responsible for his decisions. Basically, I did not
steal a husband like you want me to believe. I kept
trying to throw him back to his family. [The WS] was
tenacious. (just as when he searched for my residence
against my wishes)

By the way, you wrote to me about something. [The WS]
hasn't had a lot of affairs, and I am not number 5. I
think that he has a very big heart and is not a lousy
person. You better clear that with him & stop making
up stories. You hurt yourself by doing that. I don't
know why he said he was in a mild depression for ten
years, but I think that unhappiness has some root in
it.

You deserve more than this, I agree. Me too. [the WS]
also. You asked me why I couldn't do better than
[the WS].. actually, I would like to ask you the same
thing. If it's true that you think he really is a
lousy husband & father & provider who's
disfellowshipped, then have you asked yourself that
same question? He told me that he had lost himself by
returning to the SJ house. A cold feeling over came
him, I think he said. That would be a good place to
start. I think he said that you were working on the
marriage alone even tho you knew he was in love with
someone else. Well, talk about it more, you might be
surprised. [The WS] is worth a second chance for Joel's
sake. It was a difficult decision to write to you,
but this was the only way to get Keith to not care
about me anymore. Sorry.

[The WS] said that you told him to "be good" on Monday.
Well, actually he told me that he was not "living" but
not "dying" by staying with you. He doesn't hate you,
but he doesn't love you either. (He cares like a
roommate he says.) He is taking it "day to day"
there. He has no future plans, no savings & no idea
how things are going to turn out. He is so "neutral"
& indifferent that it concerns me. How does he plan
to go forward in his life? His words were that, "if
it was just L" he would had been gone a long time
ago. He told me that he didn't have to be honest
about every single detail to you... but I beg to
differ. If anything, even I would like to know if my
companion was harboring such thoughts. Resolve it,
you know? But, he said in order to be with Joel, he
had to "reach around" you, otherwise he would be a
"nobody" to you and his son. He really doesn't want
to ruin that little boy's childhood, & I admire him
for his sacrifices but not the lies, omission,
withholds and half truths. He says you're depressed,
so if you are depressed, maybe this second chance will
change that, maybe it's because [the WS] wasn't fully
cooperating. Remember when you told him to "smile"?
That he didn't smile? Well, nothing has changed. He
said that he was not happy with you, but he was not
miserable either. So, it's 50/50 & you can tip the
scale towards happiness. Maybe ask [the WS], why & what
& how - so you can fix it. You're not a bad person,
Leanne. You sound like a good person, & the
breadwinner of the household with an unfulfilled man.
He does care about you, so you have a chance to
fulfill him. He thinks his heart isn't there. But,
you can change that too. Don't think that there's
anything wrong with yourself, it is something about
Keith that's holding him back. Use all of this to
your advantage. I'm sorry if any of this upsets you.
I just wanted to be upfront & set the record straight
in the shortest time possible. Take care, and good
luck.

Now realize this letter is filled with 1/2 truths, recollection of events from previous years (made to sound as current) and warped opinions. The above is the letter the OW sent to me. It was not her 1st but her last. Notice the babble?

Now here is my letter to the WS (note: at the time I sent the letter, I was led to believe we were in recovery. An overdue family vacaiton was planned with the Xws to fly in and join us the following day):

Letter from the WS/Xws (u decide which):

[color:"blue"] Dear L,
I'm not sure what you mean but saying you know who the leak is. If you're saying it's me, you are only partly right. She was angry with me because I dare go to Hawaii with you & not even tell her. I DID NOT tell her you were taking vacation, to anywhere. She confronted me with that information, so someone from work is telling her things.

The problems between us have been primarily my fault, & even
though I've been inundated with propaganda to the contrary, I realize the truth & no one can convince me otherwise. Your
patience & efforts to make things better has made me appreciate you much more lately, & I have been trying to put away completely this psychotic leach that has been clinging.

The message she wrote contained some truth, but much of it
skewered & written out of context to make herself look good,
while pretending to be sympathetic. She doesn't know how to be truly sympathetic. Everything for her has to be for her own good somehow, & her need to write to you was only to keep me from going to Hawaii, because it was her who is filled with jealousy & spite.

I have not felt any love for her for quite some time, &
especially since the last time she did this same thing. I have allowed myself to be stupid enough to try to continue to talk with her only to keep her from doing something to hurt my family more, because she truly is psychotic & obsessed. Yes, I have done some things for her, like put up a gate, & I would love to bring over my chainsaw to cut it down. It is so insulting that she portrays me as the one who just can't let go of her, yet the only reason for her writing this is because I told her I was doing exactly that, & she could tell this time was going to be permanent. So of course she had to do what I feared most, she had to retaliate & write to you. The funny thing was, a few
times she accused you of having the attitude, "if I can't have him, nobody can", while the truth is, she has proven to have that very attitude herself.

Because I made the mistake of allowing her to continue to talk to me, & became fearful of hurting you yet again, & it only led to more contact. The thing I feared more than anything in the world was hurting you & son, though I know that the proper thing to feel even more is hurt for displeasing God. I don't know why my conscience is not what it used to be, but I think part of it is because when I needed God most, & tried so hard to do good, I didn't feel any help at all. I felt completely abandoned, like I was still being punished for something I may have done in the past, but didn't know what it was. Yet that never caused me to stop believing in him. Only an ignorant fool could do that. I know too much to stop believing in him.

You may notice that, even though you are not here, I have been sleeping in our bed alone, not in hers. Yes, she complained about that too. How dare I not come to sleep with her when I have the chance. She hated it when I wouldn't let her talk down about you, & continually told her that I cared very much for my family, & that you were not the cause of my problems. She only wanted to hear me complain about you, & tell her I didn't want to be a father. She would get angry when I told her I absolutely did not want to leave my family. Out of guilt, compassion, & yes, because of love too. I do love my family, L. More than I think even I realize.

There was a lot more I had written before the computer problem, but I can't remember what it was, so I'll send you this for now.

For the record, I was looking forward to this trip, & wanting to have it knowing I would not have any more dealings with her. I was not simply wanting to go to Hawaii, because it really doesn't excite me as much as it does others. I was looking forward to having time to ourselves, without interruption.

I also don't want to leave, & not just because I need a place to sleep & store my stuff, but because you are my family, & I want it to stay that way. You have the right to tell me to leave, & I will respect that if that is your ultimate decision.

Love,
XWS[/color]

Now here is my response to the Xws:

[color:"green"]WS,

It is hard for me to know what to say. I am sooo tired of this charade. I am angry and hurt. Son is hurt also. He has seen me cry and I have had to explain there are problems.

WS, son loves you with all his heart. I don't know if I can say the same. I used to but it is getting harder each time there is a step backwards.

How are you going to convince us that you are worth this trip or even your family? Unfortunately this is something I need to know ASAP since many decisions need to be made on this decision.

As for the trip, I was looking forward to us moving forward also. The fact that you kept up communication with this person, upsets me greatly. I fail to see how this will help us move forward. You kept that phone number and gave stupid excuses. Did you really believe I would buy the shovel and
pile of dirt story? What else are you hiding up your sleeve?

Keith, we need to talk. I need to know the truth. If you don't love me, I can understand that and move on without you. If you do love me, I need to see, feel and know it beyond all doubt.

I refuse to have anything to do with the OW (other woman) or any other person of similar character. Do not bring this in my life. If there needs to be contact, I should be hearing this from you not this other person.

I need to know about what is going on from you not a wacko stranger character.

As for her hurting our family, well she just did. Alone her attacks on us will continue. Together, she doesn't have a chance. You choose to go alone in dealing with her makes no sense to me. I don't care what she thinks of me. I already know how to deal with her in a safe and legal manner. I
also know how to deal with you on the same level if need be. What I find difficult is rehashing this affair stuff over and over again.

Do I need you to beg for forgiveness? Yes. Should you? That's up to you.

Did God leave you? No. Did the others abandon you? Yes.
Should that have stumbled you? Well it appears to but together we should have been able to beat that. You see WS, you are not the only one 'others' have abandoned. Many in have suffered in a similar manner. Some left and others stuck it out. Your relationship with God is an individual one. You have to make amends with God on your own. I
need to do the same. Really we all do.

The kicker is that our family has 4 persons in it: me, son, you and God. WS we are a package deal. You have to decide whether you can come back to all 3 of us.

Maybe your decision to come to Hawaii s/b based on that. I think it is the right thing to you. So now the ball is in your court.

Son wants you to come on the trip. The last thing I want is for you to be involved with $$ from the OW. However, deciding on the package deal vs leaving is the most important reason.

The ball is now in your court. [/color]

There were a lot of phone calls around all of this. When the OW sent her letter, I would later learn that the OW was at the same time calling women's abuse hotlines, my church and a few other places concoting up stories of how her life was endangered by the Ws, that he threatened to kill,etc. She even filed false RO charges which caused us to meet her for the last time in court after our vacation.

So last week, we went back to that island for a short vacation. Different place....same island....major trigger.... I let H know this was still a trigger for me and even though it has been 2 years later with a good recovery well under way..... it was his job to help me get over this trigger. Just reading the above e-mails hurts all over again....still hard lessons were learned.

It isn't fair just to say that H is back. He is, but there's sooo much more than simply saying he is back. Safe to say, it is a hard journey which requires the dilligent and continued effort of both parties. For me doing less gave me more. Strange isn't it?!??!?

Well....hope u find it helpful.

L.

Hi Orchid,

Do you think your recovery is going well? Is it on the right track? Do you feel secure? Just curious after all this time.It seems like this whole ordeal is always a part of you somehow isn't it? The memories are always there,like a stain upon our lives.

Just reading the e-mails was hard for me too so I can imagine what it might be like for you.It brought back all kinds of sick stuff I went through too and I am not recovered.Even today it's all a reminder as my STBXWH calls to say Happy New Year to my girls and it's brief,very business like and I KNOW he is with homewrecker.It's all too familiar,how he acts(with homewrecker around) and how very certain I am that I made the right decision not to be with this man that I barely recognize anymore and who I don't want to have anything to do with anymore.

Is your FWH doing all that he needs to to protect your M do you think? It's amazing how scary these OP
s are.Totally demented and self serving.Wolves in sheeps clothing.



I think this is true for me too.But the moment I wasn't doing for my WH all the time was one of the moments I realized HE wasn't going to change,not one bit.I was a big giver in the marriage and family and I realized that was not the answer to any recovery.

Well,I hope things are going well in your M.Happy New Year! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

O

OG,

Sorry to send shivers up your spine....

Our recovery is doing fine. H is working hard and we are working together to improve ourselves and our family. Communication was always a major issue but this recovery requires open and constant communication done with respect. Those rquirements have improved our R and ultimately our M.

Are there still triggers. Obviously. Are they getting less? Yes. Will they go away? Not sure. I have the memory of an elephant. LOL!!!! Do I still keep plan B in my back pocket? Yes.

Do I regret taking him back? No. Does he regret, show remorse and is repentant for his actions? Yes. How do I know? He shows me by words and actions. Have things improved with us as a family? Yes. H's R w/son is improving also. H has made his family his priority along with repairing his R with God. For him that is another large challenge to overcome but he knows it is doable but it is up to him. God is forgiving but God does not waiver from his stance. So H must go to him for forgiveness. I have learned the same must be for our M.

Are we in plan A? To the extend that it continues to help us improve.

I have learned a lot from many areas of life and MB played a big part of that learning process. I was determined to make this tragedy at the very very least a learning process and NOT stop me from moving forward. It took a long time to get to that state but it has been a wise and healthy move for me and my family.

Can this help others? Well I posted this painful part of my life to help others. Not sure how long I will leave this thread posted with such raw material.

Hope this answers your questions.

take care,
L.

{{{{{Orchid)))))

The end of Jan is 8 years since Dday for me. Longgg time, huh. But, ya know, it still hurts when I drive by the bar where I know H first met OW. Not "hurts" as in that kicked-in-the-stomach feeling but "hurts" in the aching if-only-I-knew-then-what-I-know-now feeling...and sometimes a few stingy little tears. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

But we've learned, Orchid. Learned hard, painful lessons and acquired coping skills. We now KNOW to mention the trigger to our H's.

And hopefully they've learned to hold us tight, assure us of their love and make us feel safe now........ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hoping you were able to replace those triggers with new wonderful memories.

Orchid, my STBX could have written that letter. It is amazing the warped sense of reality. I have recently been going over some of her chat sessions with OM and her nasty emails to me.

The thing that worries me is I don't know which is true. Do they have a warped sense of reality, or do they know the truth but obfuscate it to be annoying or hurtful.

I had always thought my wife was just obfuscating the truth, trying to hurt me, maybe even justify her treachory and nastiness. Because sometimes she would reflect an honest image of an event, but then weeks later corrupt the memory and add fantasy to it.

But now I think she has no grasp on reality. I don't think she knows what is real and isn't. Of course that would explain her fascination with cyber lovers.

Sorry if I thread jacked.

I am envious, (happy too) that your FWH committed and demonstrated it through loving, understanding, actions.

Orchid...my dear dear friend.

I love ya.

I read these letters...because I know and love ya, it was quite painful to read them...to me..

But I know you are stronger than that psycho babble rabbit (PBR to us here)...and YOU HELPED GET ME STRONG AGAIN TOO!

You are a MB genius and a woman that can bring the nastiest OW to their knees! And many a WS to their knees also! But not with anger...but using truth and knowledge and a firm resolution.

Wish you and your family the happiest of new years. You and I both have triggers this time of year...today is the horrid anniversary of Darth and Family Values' A.M. (affair marriage)..

I stayed busy...courtesy of the hospital and a beeper! But am doing fine...and having a HOT DATE TOMORROW!

Orchid,

Thanks for your post and sage advice. I read here frequently, don't post very often but I always respect your opinion. Your determination & strength is admirable. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

V/r,
No Way

Orchid - Thank you so much for sharing those letters with us. In doing so, it seemed to make all of this (the A's) seem real to me. I found your entire post very thought-provoking, and insightful.

Thank you again for allowing us to see inside an affair from a different angle. That was very courageous of you to do that. I am sure you have touched many by your post.

Best regards - Carnation

Nerlycrzy,

I certainly appreciate your post. I wonder 'bout those triggers.... we've made it H's job to minimize those triggers for me. Not always something I can handle on my own. IMHO, it is the Xws' responsbility to restore the trust from the BS for the Xws and not visa versa.

U R right about the 'lessons learned'. Definitely learned the hard way and certainly don't want others to be just as slow in learning.

8 years, eh? ....that's good to know. I am glad. While we can't affair proof our M's we can give them the best protection.

Thanks 4 your post, as usual they are very encouraging.

Mahalo,
L.

My dear Tom, No-way & Carnation

It is sad to see how much alike are WS' c/b. The cycle of the A is a scary thing to see much less be sucked into. After my mind and heart sync'd up, it was much easier to see the need to set boundaries and enforce them. I was no longer enslaved to the whims of a WS nor the bad side of my H.

In reality, I spoiled my H by doing more than necessary. All the while thinking it was my duty as a good W to do as much as I could, even at the expense of my health. Thinking it w/b appreciated.

Living through the horros of the A helped me see there are times when one's mind c/b soooo corrupted, the best thing is to plan B, leave, let them suffer on their own. As much as I loved my H, I couldn't heal him for him. That was what he needed t/d on his own. I didn't no love the WS so reverse babble came easy. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I later learned to use similar techinques when dealing with other people who exhibited similar stupid qualities. Those same principals along with reverse babble worked. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Basically I have learned t/b a cancer to the A kind of character. I am viewed as a threat to whoever wants to promote an A. Yea, even to strangers. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I like it that way. I would rather there be no As and maybe someday that w/b true but for now, I plan to in my little way fight against all A's.

Guess that's what keeps me posting here. That and to give back some of the support I have received all these years.

Tom, No-way & Carnation, never lose your sense of right and wrong, keep your goals within reach, love your children and keep your R w/God in good standing. Don't fall for the babble. This is hard to do and the longer we do it the more the WS tries to fool us. I even told my H that you can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time and I plan NOT t/b fooled by him anymore. With that I left him to stew about his stories. That along with reverse babble helped me keep him in line. Whenever I doubted his stories, I came out and said so. I took away his right to lie as much as possible.

It does get better. Why? Because we are getting better and stronger.

All the best,
L.

My dear loving peach,

We have been through a lot and still giving and giving and giving. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> That's a good thing.

What I learned is the A is a shallow state of mind. NO history, no future and no happiness.

I realized early on that my life is deep, filled with history, experiences, love, laughter, happy and sad times, much learning, and more to go.

I asked my SIL if she thought her life was a portrait or a picture. Portrait as in sitting still and posed vs the spur of the moment picture.

She thought about it and said, picture. I said me too. While a portrait looks pretty, they are often costly and shallow. Whereas pictures often have a story behind them and just exude life. I much rather be a picture than a portrait.

I am proud of how you and your little one have made it through the enduring mess of Jethro and his horde of A strings. He may drive a nice car and live in a nice home but it is as shallow as a portrait and his smile is fake.

You though, live your life out to the fullest (in a sane and a safe way) and be happy. Becareful but be happy.

Luv ya',
L.

Orchid,
my friend, my mentor. (((((Orchid)))))
Thanks for posting this. Yes, it helps. Yes, as painful as it is, it gives hope.
I need hope.

LT,

Glad to help where and when I can. U know we all help each other. Many a post has helped me and probably saved a few lives. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Many a BS here have the right to choke the lights out of their WS but instead they take the high road and using the various tools and support from here and other places have learned how to get a handle on this A crap so that it doesn't ruin their lives.

Most of us have been on the edge of thinking we were losing everything. In reality it is the WS who is already the loser. A doomed destination. No need to pull the BS and family along with them but they sure do try.

Stay strong. Remember you've got friends and family in good places. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

All the best,
L.