Well, here it is Thursday. I've been holding my breath that you wouldn't go into labor before today. Whew!

No, not in labor yet, though went to doc appt. today. I am dialted to a 4, and I am scheduled to be induced on Wednesday, Jan. 11!!! She thinks I might go before that on my own. I was supposed to have a c-section because my last was 10.12, but she thinks the stress of all of this has made this a different pregnancy (duh!) and she doesn't think this little man is as big--nine lbs. max, she says.

I called WH to tell him about the induction. I asked him to get the bos tuesday, have them spend the night with him, and after I deliver, he could come to the hospital to have them meet their new brother--remember the moment as a family. And then I said my friend would take them back to my house and he could go.
Get this--he has a game (he's a coach) tuesday night, and will come, but said it'll be like 11 at night. hello? Don't you think someone else can cover since your wife is about to give birth. I agreed to have him come that late, but wasn't really what I was asking.

I have already decided that I will warn the nurses that if I hit the call button while he is in there, that they need to come and rescue me from his emotional escapades. I have thought long and hard about this, and will not let him ruin another moment of this pregnancy for me.

On the phone, he said he was sorry it had to be this way. He never wanted this (then why, why? is it happening) and he wished it could all change. Oh--and he wanted me to know he would always care for me and love me. I asked how he can love two women--he said he didn't know.
I couldn't buy into the lack of sincerity one more time. I want the next 6 days to be about me and this baby. I think it's deserved.

My mom is here and it is already a big relief. Pray that I can talk her into staying longer than the 20th.

Oh--and Shugah--I did tell him that I couldn't meet him places--it would be too much on me. He said he wouldn;'t see them, then.

Well, he is obviously still out of his mind. I would think very carefully about not having him there at all.

Watch that 4 cm dilated stuff. With my youngest that's how I was. My doc told me that other women he saw like that delivered QUICKLY, sometimes not even in the hospital.

I went to the hospital when I started having contractions. Once I got into labor room, it took less than 15 minutes. In fact, son was born in the hallway on the way to delivery room. Doc still had his suit on.

intexas,

Where are you located in TX? I am in Houston and would be more than happy to help with your boys if it would help you out at all. I have a DS - 4 with lots of boy toys they could play with...

Regards,

BB

Yeah!!! Big round of applause for you! You set your boundaries! Woohoo!!


Oh well. His loss. Buh Bye.

Take care of yourself Tex. I'll be thinking of you. Hey, I just thought of something. You can get rid of all your emotions toward your WH during labor. You can scream your head off and no body will be any the wiser! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So, intexas, I'm thinking maybe you're in the hospital since you've been so quiet? My niece was born on her due date - 1/5/06 - I hope your labor & delivery goes as well as my SIL!

MSA

Sorry, Mrs. S, still no baby! I have been nesting a lot today between moments of pure exhaustion, so maybe it's a sign. A few have said I have dropped...we'll see. Either way he'll be here by Wednesday. Oh my that is getting so close.

WH has been quite the doozie lately. Called me to tell me I was a hypocrite. (His reasoning-so insame--I won't even go there). He started in again on bashing me, etc, so I just told him I was going to enjoy the next few days and had no desire to talk if it wasn't about the kids. Politely, I hung up.

Then he calls today to talk about the puppy he got and how OW is also a vet (????) and helped him out, etc. with this puppy. Does he not think that her name is something I would rather not hear so close to delivery? Urrrr...this man has just lost all sense of reality I tell you.

Then he called again to say he needs money. Umm...what money? He has bills--he used his cash for Christmas, he said. Funny, I said, you never did get the boys a presesnt for me like we agreed to do. He's wahcked if he thinks he is getting more this month. There is NOTHING and i repeat NOTHING extra to give. He did say that he would help me out financially after the D if I ever needed it, and hoped it would be vice versa. Again, don't think so.

Ow's divorce will be final this week. I bet that will be ironic if it ends on the day our son is born. I am praying so hard for them to break up.

I feel stronger in our conversations, though. And that makes me feel so much better.

I am, for some reason, dealing with the OW lately in my mind. How long does this usually last? Comparing myself to her, etc. This is new to me and I don't like it. I keep telling myself that I am his loss, but it hasn't fully sinked in yet. But he did do this at a time when it is hard to feel attractive about myself with this preggo body, etc. At least I like my new haircut <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It sounds you are doing great. I am so proud of how you are handling things.

Thanks for posting, we are all concerned about you and that baby.

blessings

Glad to see you hanging in there. Yep, hubby is still all whacko. What can the boy be thinking?????????????????????

Don't compare yourself with the OW. You didn't have to dip into the married pool to find a date.

Nesting is a good sign. I always got this crazy urge to clean. Then I knew baby was close to being born.

One more thing I thougt was funny.
My mom is here, as I hae posted before. Well, he has hated her (and I mean hated her) since before we married. Suddnely, he keeps aking if we talk about him, does she think badly of him (I said, yes, she's really not fond of you at all). I mean, does the man really think anyone other than the warped people he has surrounded himself with (who, bt the way, do not know me from Eve) think of him highly right now?

Oh--and he did say yesterday that he left me when I was preggo becuase since our 4 year old is so smart, he didn't want to wait to do it until the baby was born, because then our litle Einstein would hate and blame his baby brother forever. GIVE ME A BREAK! He is a 4 year old for heaven's sake. They are resilliant.

Just another notch on the stupid log for him.

You're right, Moveforward-- I feel SO different lately when I deal with him. If you followed my earlier thread, you's see how much I struggled with his calls and the guilt,etc. Now I see the bull for what it is.

Just wanted to add that I was an English major--my spelling is atrocious at the moment--I do not read for typo's--but there is a somewhat educated person behind these posts!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

(intexas)

I'm glad you posted. I wish you good luck and speedy recovery for you and your little ones.

I hope you get the peace that is your due when the little one arrives.

Stay strong!

InTexas - Is is so hard for me to read your threads but at at the same time I can't help it. You're situation just hits too close to home. I too was PG when my H had his A. Luckily for me, impending fatherhood was the 2x4 he needed to hit him in the head and break through the fog. My advice to you is to keep doing what you are doing and do not let him ruin these days for you. Giving birth is such a beautiful, powerful precious moment. Do not let him poison it. Right now, the world should revolve around you, do not let him in and bring you down. You are doing great. I can tell what a strong wonderful woman you must be. Just thinking about the moment when you will finally meet your little miracle brings tears to my eyes. Please enjoy every moment and enjoy this gift God has given to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.

Hi there intex,

I just found your post today, and I too am preg with our third child. Im due Jan 31st. I too am trying to fix up the house from major construction to try and sell at the same time as being this far into preg, i can really sympathize.

I have also been with my WH for 10 years we have been married 7.5 Im 32 and he is 30.

This is the hardest time in my life, as I am sure it has been for you too. I hope all is well for you and your kids, and your precious cargo.

Best wishes and prayers are with you for everything to go as you hope that it should.

Be well - Heidi

Okay. I need some help. I already know my answer, but need help wording it and suggestions how to deal with WH tonight when he comes to pick up the kids late to have them for the night while I am in the hospital tomorrow. He has already said he will only take one day off.

Here is what happened today. He calls and calls, but I don't answer as I am trying to nap with the kids. I get up to see who all the phone calls are from and they were from him. There was a text message:

It said: Is it possible for me to be there for the birth?

For 5 months he has said no. He doesn't want to be there, can't get off work, too painful for him, too painful for me, etc...

Now, hours before he wants to come. WHY? WHY? WHY?

i believe it is mental cruelty. Just two days ago he called and was talking about OW and telling me how much of this was my fault etc.


I do not want him there. I am not emotionally ready for that. Not last minute. I am scared as it is that he'll be bringing the boys up there and having to deal with his emotions then.

I am mad at him for doing this hours before I have to be at the hospital.

SO, anyone have a good way to say no that doesn't make me look like the bad guy?

THis is not something I wanted to deal with right now.

I am struggling with this one myself tex, although my WH has not said he doesnt want to be there, I think that is what he is holding out for.

I know you dont want to be the "bad guy" but to whom? HIM? He doesnt care.....he already views you as the bad guy, and if you deny him the ability to witness the birth of his baby that he abandoned to be with some other woman, thats points for you.

I think that if I was to not let my WH be at the birth that would be the most painful thing I could do to him. A moment of amazement and beauty that he will never be able to have. For the rest of his life he will have to look at his child, and know he wasnt there because of the decisions he made.

If you dont want him to be there, dont let him be there. You have so much to focus on tomorrow, the last thing you need is to have to deal with him being there.

Enjoy your day...enjoy that beautiful baby laying in your arms for the first time. Enjoy the family and friends that you will have there to support you and that love you. Its your day and your babys day.

Email him a pic .......... when you get around to it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


sorry....im a bit bitter at the moment....maybe this isnt the best advice..

Good Luck to you tommorrow, i wish you and baby well.

My 2 cents - Say exactly what you said in the email... "This is hard enough as it is, and I just don't think I can deal with all of the emotions that may come up if you are at the birth"

intexas, simply tell him the truth. You are devastated by his abandonment and are not emotionally prepared to have him in the room with you. He views you as the bad guy no matter what you do, you know you have no control over that. All you can control is the environment in which you give birth.

There was a lengthy thread on this topic not too long ago. The consensus was that an H belongs in the delivery room, but a WH does not. Protect Yourself.
Mulan

I remember the thread. Actually, I know I don't want him there now. For five months he said he didn't want to. For five moths EVERYTHING has been about him. It is only today--hours before I go in, does he change his mind.

I was just looking for a good way to put it.