Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1551452 01/02/06 09:15 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,383
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,383
Hi,

Just wondering how things are going for you and your H. Also if things have still been quiet from OW/OWH or if they've made their intentions known to you guys? At any rate, I hope all is well for you and lost.

~ad

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
AD, thanks for asking. Things are going well, a nice holiday season, peaceful. OW has been sending a lot of mail/signing us up for stuff etc, but other than that she's been quiet since a contact situation back in October.

She claims she's getting divorced, but no paternity paperwork has been received by us. Therefore, we have a joint agreement that we will go about our business, and truly although I have heard otherwise on this site, we are rather certain that in our state we have no grounds to challenge paternity with a MOW. And we don't plan to anyway.

It's hard for us at times of course (Lost loves kids, and we know we would be a MUCH more stable home for OC), but the limited contact we had with OW in Oct was enough to make it plain that we cannot have contact with her; she de-stabilizes things too much with her chaos.

Jennifer Chalmers and the MB site & all of you guys have really given us some good tools to work thru things; I think we're both surprised HOW much work it is, but we avoid LB's and try to recognize the EN's even if we don't do a 100% job at meeting them all the time. Our kids are doing splendidly, and that makes us so happy. We love our new church; I do wish Lost would come on here more and share some wisdom; we had a scare that OW gained access (thus my name change), but I now think that she didn't. And if she did, "Hi OW!!! How are things?? Give me a call sometime, we can do lunch and catch up."

Oh well.

Thanks for your concern, I post a lot on GQ and Just Found Out and PlanA/PlanB... not too much to say on this board because we have no new news and I'm not too much of an expert on dealing with an OC, since we don't.

MSA


BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,383
A
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,383
I'm glad to hear things have been peaceful. I just noticed you renewed your vows--that's excellent!

Depending on your state, you're right about the paternity issue. Her/her H will have to be the ones to contest it. It is probably likelier to happen if they're really getting a D, so I'd prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. In the meantime, keep working on the two of you and your M. It's absolutely awesome you're counseling w/ Jennifer Chalmers!

Take good care...

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
Yup, Jennifer Chalmers had the idea when we had our Vegas trip planned! We used a lot of the MB material in the back of SAA in addition to some of our own vows... it was awesome. Maybe I'll post one of those pictures on the MB website/pictures... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We WERE in counseling with Jennifer... we graduated! She said we were A+ students!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the concern!
MSA


BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 98
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 98
Congrats on your renewed vows Mrs Stowaway!!! Also glad to hear you had a peaceful holidays. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
Thanks, sleepless!


BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 24 guests, and 56 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
MikaylaVaux, I.P., Alex82, Dezzeiemm, love spells
71,725 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,545
Posts2,322,787
Members71,726
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5