Well, the big thing is that you need to notify him BEFORE his wife and your husband can concoct a story. They always make up a story about the BS. You might call it the psycho wife story. They will say that you are crazy, and are stalking them because you have delusions of them having an affair. They all do the same thing.

Now that you have called twice, he will probably realize something is up. That's why I'm thinking if you leave him a message to call you, he may call you FIRST.

There is a chance that they are not seperated at all. That also happens a lot here. I'm wondering - mainly because your husband got so angry. Often the WS wants to protect the affair partner.

I'm also curious about your marriage before all of this happened. You said you were constantly fighting. I'd like to know what the fights were about, and if you have made changes of things that annoyed your husband.

Healing has a good idea - check the liquor stores near their home. Do you know where they live?

I'm with Healing, call some of the liquor stores.

Alison-
Like Mimi said, yes, if you wish to, have your husband over for the evening. However, unlike Mimi, and I know she may disagree, DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM. And if you do, insist on a condom. INSIST ON IT. IF he whips one out, well... you're in plan A so problably wouldn't do what I would. heh.

Can you afford a cell phone of your own? A new one?

How many liquor stores can there be? I am thinking about my town, and there are four. So, call. What can you lose?

Also, re Mimi's suggestion of the new cell phone: You can but one of those "disposable" cell phones for $25 or les. Or, buy a calling card.

I hear you, MOJO... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I would predict that tonight is not going to be about SF...

HIS PLAN is probably going to be to find out what you know..

He does not want his DRUG SOURCE to be cut off...

The main thing tonight is to not give out info., to not LB, to not BEG or WHINE..

Pleasant, upbeat conversation...physically attractive..house in good order...

Do not be provoked by him into an argument....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Okay just talked to OWH... YUP - he has proof too. Also in the form of a video of the two of them on November 10th...

He would not tell me what was on the video, he didn't even watch it - it is at his lawyers office. He did read the report, but was not sure if he wanted to tell me about it...

He has text messages from him to her. He also said that he thinks it may be over between them, but he thinks it may be another woman...

PLEASE - help. Now what do I do???

I think you need a copy of the video..unfortunately...

Are OW and her H seperated? If not, then she is probably lying and he is trying to believe her thus the idea that there is another OW.

Hang in there, Alison.

OWH is not very willing to divuldge the info about the video nor the report he said he would think about it...

It's probably her. I imagine the affair has turned physical and that is what is on the video. His wife probably wants her husband to think it is over.

Does the OW have any children?

You need a copy of the video so that you can say to him:
"I know for sure that you are having an A with "OW".

Does the OWH want to work on his marriage? Encourage him to do so.

Yes they are separated. PLEASE _ WHAT DO I DO...


DO I call his parents?? What do i do??

First, get a copy of the video or definite proof so that you can confront him about this.

No he does not want the marriage to work. He has moved on.

Yes, call his parents. Tell them what owH has told you. Ask for a copy of the video. Can you check your credit card statements from 11/05 to see where he might have been with her?

Stay strong. It's all unraveling.

YUK! But let's make it clear to your WH and OW that YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO THE SAME!!

That is HER desire for YOU TO MOVE ON!!

Again I say, try to get that evidence from the OWH or get your OWN EVIDENCE...

Lay low so that you can get your PROOF then EXPOSE to his parents...

If owH has "moved on", then she is going to be pressuring your H to do the same. You need to expose what you know to your H's parents, and possibly his job. I know, that sucks. But, clearly he cannot remain at that job as long as ow works there, too.

All the while in Plan A.

Praying for you.

I actually wrote down what he supposedly did the night of the 10th... He went out with the same guy he supposedly went out with last night - to a restaurant close to our house... And yes there was a credit card statement from the retaurant...