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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Posts: 551 |
JPH - I did do that and she said the company wouldn't do anything because they are the top 2 producers... She said they wouldn't care...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 104
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Allison - I haven't posted before but my heart goes out to you. My exhusband and the ow (who is his live in girlfriend now) worked together - he told me about the EA - she pursued him - she even told him that - she was looking - was unhappy in her marriage - this was the 4th time she has done this - two other times with co-workers - and I was scared and I didn't call the company and I didn't expose - guess what - I am divorced and she is with him. I know this is scary - but please listen to the people on this board.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Posts: 551 |
Happy - I am sorry, I cannot do it. I will have to go about this another way. If I could find a way to get her fired, that is a different story...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 104
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What do you think will happen if you expose? What is scaring you?
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Posts: 551 |
I don't want H to lose his job. I really know that I don't have anything to lose, but I feel that he has everything to lose and if I do this he will run to her when he should be running to me...
I almost just want to confront her...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551 |
I am dying to call OWH and ask him if I should really bother supeona ing the tape??? I don't even know if it's worth it. I feel like I must get my own proof... how can I trust this idiot in what he tells me???
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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If they have no money then they loose there love as problems walk in the door. The company may not want to loose them however, they may not want the publicity. So they will make sure these 2 are apart and in different cities or states. I truely beieve they will not fire them as they are top producers - your H has been with them longer -so who do you think stands the chance of loosing the job HER. Allision and I do not mean to be unkind but don't most men win in these situations. It has always been the woman who looses. Bosses always think he will keep working because he has kids - what if she gets pregnant then she may quit so they stay with the men.
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 104
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Well I confronted the OW and even asked for her help - I knew her well and she agreed to help me by telling my ex that she wasn't interested in him anymore - this was when they supposedly weren't together but I knew my ex was still "in love" with her - so she agreed and did just the opposite. Told him she still had feelings for him. So I don't know how much good confronting her would do. She knows hes married with a baby and she was married - didn't stop her.
Lets say you exposed and he lost his job - do you really think she will want an unemployed boyfriend?
It is hard I know - I just don't want to see you make the wrong decision like I did.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401
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Posts: 401 |
Alison - you need to get a grip.
You've done a better job at talking yourself out of exposing than your WH EVER could have. You're the best ally he's got right now to continue to have his affair. He doesn't even need to be there to control you.
You NEED to do this. You NEED to protect yourself and your DAUGHTER. If you don't protect her then who's going to? You need to start taking control of this situation right now.
You CAN do this.
Me (BS) 36
FWW 35
Married 5/25/91
DS-7
DD - Born 11/8/05 !!!
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't think exposure is a good idea? Go here...
From Harley Himself
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551 |
Ok - I accept that fact that this has to be done. I give my permission. I cannot do it. I cannot do it. I am not saying it doesn't have to be done, but I cannot do it. Plus, can't this wait until after the trip?? I don't care if they are together - they have been before, so whats another...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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I guess that was wrong of me to say. I am sorry. I am, as we speak freaking out. I am shaking and I don't feel like I can be alone tonight... I am losing it once again...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 104
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Alison - do you have anyone that can come and stay with you? A friend or relative? I know I needed someone every once in a while - it's nothing to be ashamed of. Please find someone to spend some time with tonight.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
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I hope Believer or another affairbuster is all set up to get the goods on them while they are in CA.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551 |
Oh yeah - Hyatt Santa Ana - but H told me he is going Bowling or some stupid crap. Not that I believe a word he says.
Gosh - I wish we could really bust them...
This is killing me being home right now. I want my husband here with me and not with her... I hate her very much for going after my husband.
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 401
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Posts: 401 |
Arms inside the car. No standing up on the ride. The roller coaster is hard Alison. We all understand that. I'm sorry you're having to go through this but you can do it. Keep on keeping on girl.
Me (BS) 36
FWW 35
Married 5/25/91
DS-7
DD - Born 11/8/05 !!!
PA #1 12/1996
PA #2 4/01 to 1/04
NC 1/04
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't think exposure is a good idea? Go here...
From Harley Himself
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
What is the name of the hotel? I don't even see a Hyatt in Santa Ana. (I'll make a GREAT detective)
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Oh god Allison -your letting them get away with it.
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 551 |
Is there a Hilton. I thought the first time he said Hilton but then the other night he said Hyatt...
Separated: 12/18/2005
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
There is a Hyatt in Santa Clara, is that close? Sorry I don't know CA.
There is a Santa Ana Hyatt n New Mexico.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
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Posts: 1,808 |
Last edited by moveforward; 01/06/06 04:28 PM.
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