Let me ask him again tonight if he is willing and if not, then I will do it alone... But honestly if they tell me to expose to work, I won't do that right now... I want more proof before I do that...

What can you do to get the proof you need?

I am thinking of getting a PI for Friday night...

Faithful - there is a post above asking you questions about the article you sent me. Can you look up and maybe give me some suggestions??

Let me think on it Alison and get back to you. In the meantime look at hurtininok's thread. She just spoke to Steve Harley about her sit and her court date for her D is tomorrow. It will give you some hope.

Alison - what about the tape that the OWH has? What did your lawyer say about getting a copy of that? Why go to a PI if you already have access to what you need?

I do not have access, spoke to my lawyer and she said in order to get the tape subpeona'd there would need to be an open divorce case.

Is this bad to say during Plan A:

"Everyone knows you are hvaing an affair. I feel that your decision to do this is going to ruin your life. I care very much about you, and I want you in our family. Please know that I will do whatever I can to help you, but I will no longer tolerate what is going on"

I have been thinking about what H said last night and I have gotten myself mad and worked up...

BTW - I have not even spoken to him yet, just thought I would run it by you guys...

Sounds good to me -its sounds like you are setting a boundry -maybe leave out the "eveyone knows you are having an A and start with the I feel part from there it all sounds great. You will feel so much better setting these boundries. Things you will and will not do ofr him.

It is time he stood up like a man and stopped his behavior. If this A is so great and decent thing why HIDE it????????

The one staement I intend to ask my H is didn't you think someone had seen you 2 ? I do not know of anyone seeing them but it may scare him. At this opint he needs a good scare. Thisnk about that statement -don't you think it would shake up some of these BS's??? Maybe I am wrong. Sort of like entrapment

Okay , but the dude will say nothing is going on.. Then what???

Or do I just repeat myself and say that I am here to help him...

[quote] The one staement I intend to ask my H is didn't you think someone had seen you 2 ? I do not know of anyone seeing them but it may scare him. At this opint he needs a good scare. Thisnk about that statement -don't you think it would shake up some of these BS's??? Maybe I am wrong. Sort of like entrapment [quote] Realtor, I would love to say that, but it would make him mad and I so don't want to do that right now... I am in Plan A mode and since he is denying(sp?) everything wouldn't that just be a dumb statement?? I feel it would get me in trouble and I DO NOT want to start a fight!!!

But I would love to "entrap" him... Lets work on how to do that!!!

I have entrapped him before - he kept telling me she was old looking and I knew a good looking woman would be the only type to attract my WH. So I told him one night -I know she is pretty -I saw her picture on line -I looked up her drivers license and saw what she looked like. Well you can't do that and you hsould have seen his face. He said yes she is pretty. Denies it now that he was able to find out taht you can't look up pictures on line.
So what I intend to say to Wh is -Didn't you think someone has seen the 2 of you together? He would want to know who told me and I am going to say I will not tell you. I'll say it as a matterfactly as I would say its raining out. But watch his face.

I have worked myself up this morning... I told my H how I felt about "fooling around" during separation. He didn't say anything. I said we are still married, just living separately and it is still considered adultery - again H said nothing...

He asked me if I thought they had kissed, I said yes. He asked me if I thought they had sex, I said yes. He asked me why I thought that, and said, "the word BABY makes me think that".. He said nothing.

He brought his sheets over this morning cuz his washer is too small, and I found "a hair" I know it is not his because he trims - sorry to be explicit, but I am getting sick of all of this.

It is getting very difficult for me to keep up with Plan A when I am so angry... I feel like I am at my breaking point. I just don't think I can do this much longer...

I am so nervous for his "happy hour" on friday. I want so much to get a PI, but I feel like they would be careful enough to not do anything since I am so worried about it...

I wish there was a truth serum I could give him... I can't take much more of me sitting at home taking care of DD while H is off galavanting around with his WH*RE and lying to his family... HELP!!

If you are sure the 'hair' isn't your WH's, did you save it?

Yes, what do I do with it??

I don't know, just add it to your evidence as another item of proof. Proof that you aren't crazy.

Oh My - I wish there was a way to figure out whose it is... I think this weekend I am going to borrow his car and I am going to make a copy of his apartment keys and maybe do some snooping next week while he is at work...

I am sure that is not very legal. I think I will also do the voice activated recorder - should I do that in the car or in his apartment??

I do need to do a ton more snooping... I have got to get more proof for myself... Again, I am not sure if I don't want to lose him or if I just don't want to lose...

I have been thinking of how he treats me with no love and no respect and even though he says he wants to save the marriage, he shows no signs of it... I have a lot of thinking to do. I am at a crossroads right now...

Whatever you decide to do about trying to save the marriage or not, I would still want to have proof since he is so insistent in his denials. I mean, I think you know the truth...it is just having the undeniable proof that you are lacking.

Is there a site or article on MB relating to how to figure out if you truly do want to save the marriage??