I am just going to jump right in. My WH came to me on a day 2 weeks ago stating he has been out with one of my married friends and has been kissing her and has feelings for her. Same night I asked her if she has feelings for him too. The word love did not even come into my head because I never imagined that he could love someone else.
When I found that he had told her he loved her I in shock for a few hours. When I found out that she was at my house during my shock I got very heated. I went home and found them eyeing each other and I slapped him. (I have never in my life done such a thing and that is tearing me up now) I was delivered at note saying things like we have never had sparks. We were like brother and sister. That he has tried to make me happy for years. And true love should not be like this. He says he will always Love me but I am not his true love. He says he is trying to also talk his way out of loving the OMW.

He spent a few nights away and he then came home sleep on the couch for a 2 girls Christmas eve. Christmas eve he was reading email from her. I tried not to get made but I wanted to read the email. He had sent me the first one she had sent to him. He says they have so much incommon and we don't any more. He has been staying at a friends house and when I last heard he has not seen her not because he doesn't want to but her WH said back off they are having there own problems and she latched onto him.

I must put out right now that the day after this I came out of shock and realized there have been some BIG issues that I and we have not talked about in a very long time. I must say I was the taker in this relationship and he has gotten tired. The last time we talked in detail was the day before new years and he said that he was just to comfortable in are relationship and he no longer loves methe way he used to. I just said I had hope and I belived that he did not love me becuse I don't think I could love the person I was. I remained calm thoughout all this and he noticed that. I have been depresses and not living emotional in this realationship for sometime and all of the has been a emotional slap. If I had one thing positive to say in all this is I feel I love him more now because he told me all his issues with me.

I have been reading on plan A but I just don't know if his will ever be ready or if I have that faults hope. I will hold on but I have to see the other woman because of our kids and that hurts every day. My WH has been very casual if I see him. I don't call he but he says I can if he the girls need to.

I am trying to take it day to day but it is so hard. I wake up a know he is not there. I try and keep the negative thoughts out because I a surpossed to be working on my selfesteem. I knew I needed to make changes and I tls him I was doing them for me I must be honest I am doing them for a small percentage for him.

It is this time I am stuck I don't know what to do? I don't want to push him but I am afraid that he might be getting comfortable in the singles life. It has been 2 1/2 week since he has left. The waiting is hurting.

Some stats:
Married: 6.5 years
Never lived together before.
2 girls 5 and 9
first from a sperm donor persay
H. was there as a friend from the time she was 2 week old.
We say we are on a break till next month to see how things our going. He must leave training. I know for a fact that there will be no females there. His job does not allow females. It's a military thing.
But with that he has not had to work with females for over 6 years. I am concerned when he will have to.
This little A he had was only a week and a half but I was only friends with her for 4 months.
What our the contact rules in this plan A?