PP:<P>Hi. I just wanted to apologize again for letting my emotions get the best of me yesterday. You were angry and hurting, and I let your anger push me into a position that I never like to let myself get into.<P>You are very right that I had no business calling names. I can't unring the bell, so to speak, but I can apologize for being insensitive.<P>Having said that, let me tell you that I thought alot about your situation (or at least what I know of it from your posts) last night, and I just wanted to offer ONE suggestion.<P>Are you and your H seeing a counselor? I seem to recall that you said he finally agreed to go, but I couldn't remember. I don't mean to suggest that you can't handle your own problems, but my wife and I benefitted SO much from professional help, that I thought I'd at least share that with you.<P>I am certain that a counselor can help you guys heal constructively. I went back and read some of your later posts yesterday, and I did see some softening that I was too angry to see yesterday. Let me reiterate that I am VERY glad you and your H are on the way to repairing your marriage.<P>I think you will find a lot of great people here willing to listen and offer constructive advice. Whether or not you ever choose to accept assistance or advice from me, please know that it was never my intention to get angry or to resort to childish name-calling. I hope you'll accept my apology and have a little patience with ME too. These situations are, to say the least, fraught with wild emotions. If nothing else, you've taught me that I don't have as good a grip on my temper as I thought I had.<P>Welcome to MB. Let's get to the healing.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Lone Star,<P>Sure, I accept your apology. I don't know you well enough to hold anything against you. To answer your question, my husband and are have had 3 counseling sessions so far and I can't tell you how much of a miracle that is. If only you knew how he used to be. Nothing was ever "his problem," just my problem. It does make me feel better to hear him start admitting some of the things he'd been denying for years. When he'd curse me out and I used to ask him to stop being such an ogre, he'd say "you haven't even seen an ogre yet!" So to hear him admit how badly he treated me does bring me some satisfaction. I'm sorry, but it does. I went too long without hearing it to not feel good when I hear it now.<P>I also want to clear something else up. For some reason it sounds like I gave the impression that I had the affair TO GET BACK AT HIM. I didn't. As a matter of fact, when I had the affair, I thought my marriage WAS over, at least in my mind it was. I had the affair because I went to someone who listened to and cared about me. I didn't think my husband did. I am SHOCKED that my husband wants to change now. I thought he never would. I guess the saying "never say never" is right.<P>I know I should have never said I'd do it again in a heartbeat. That was wrong and that was a lie. I see where that got everyone pissed at me and gave the impression that I am some sort of vindictive monster. I'm not. I'd never do it again because I will never allow myself to be mistreated like that again. Not for one single minute. You're right, this time I WOULD NOT put up with it. I thought I was doing my husband and my marriage a favor by staying in that bad situation. I see now that I didn't do either of us any favors. My husband sees that he didn't do us any favors either by the way he has acted.<P>Things are going well for us now. I still have a whole lot of penned up anger and resentment that I know I need to get rid of one day. I'll repeat what I said yesterday. God isn't finished with me yet.<P>Apology accepted.

PP:<P>Good for you! I really am glad that things have improved. I guess some of us guys need a strong wake up call and yours definitely was that!<P>It's terrific that he changed his tune once he was faced with the prospect of losing you. I really wish y'all the most success in getting a newer, better marriage.<P>Bravo for WANTING to make it work.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Hi guys!<P><BR>Much better post! <P>PP-<P>I am glad you clarified some stuff. We will all rest easier now. You sound strong and we all wish you and your H a speedy recovery so to speak!<P>Good luck and best wishes!<P><P>------------------<BR>H