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#1553479 01/04/06 12:07 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21
It's been over 4 months since I found out about my wife's multiple affairs. Since then my wife has fallen into a depression and is not motivated to do much of anything. I've been trying to stay positive but nothing seems to be helping her. She's been seeing a counselor and is on anti-depresents.
I feel extremely ripped off from our marriage and am on the verge of losing it. I was the one who was cheated on yet I seem to be offering all of the emotional support to my wife. She is not all there mentally to lend any support to me. Every time I feel like throwing in the towel I feel extremely guilty .... especially since she quit her job on my request (the affairs were with coworkers). She acknowledges she has major issues but she doesn't seem motivated to change. She doesn't like talking about her thoughts or about the affairs and refuses to.
Would it be wrong to leave my wife until she resolvers her depression? Am I being selfish?

Joined: Jul 2004
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I don't think your being selfish, and I also don't think you should leave your wife "until she resolves her depression."

It is hard to live with someone who is affected by depression the way your wife is, and doubly because you are still suffering from her betrayal.

Are you in counseling as well? A counselor may be able to give you a more useful coping strategy.


. I walk the recovery path too, ... but I walk alone. HOW 'BOUT THEM STEELERS! . I've finally realized now, that you just have to keep breathing. Tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring. Tom Hanks (Castaway, 2000)
Joined: Feb 2005
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Nickatnite,
Are you in counseling, dealing with all of this? I see Tom just posted the same question... seems like you need the support dealing with all your wife's chaos and the decisions you need to make.


BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 21
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Posts: 21
My wife's counseling sessions are costing us $125/week. We can't afford another expense like that. I'm coping the best I can through books.


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