My wife is a SAHM who is currently having an affair. I've know for a while. She hasn't been affectionate for about six months. I put a recorder in her car and heard her talking with the OM on a cell phone. They are definately involved. The next day I recorded her talking to a GF on the cell phone. My WW is in IC. WW told friend that the IC said for her to stop worrying about how to get out of her marriage and think about something positive. Now she wants to buy a business, a clothing resale shop. Should I be supportive of this venture to try to meet her EN for support and affirmation? The A is still going on. She has said she doesn't love me and is not sure if she ever did. Conversation between us is almost non-existent. No touching at all. Should I reveal to her that I'm sure she's having an affair and demand that she intiate NC with the OM? What to do if she refuses (highly likely)? I've been trying to plan A for months now with no success. I can't move out of the house because of two little kids.
Me BS 37
WW 36
DD 7
DS 4
Met OM at a bar. Friend of a friend.

No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. By keeping quiet all you are doing is enabling her to continue her affair and putting your health at risk for STD's. I would certainly expose the affair to important people in her life and if the OM is married contact his spouse. You need to be proactive and make sure she understands what the consequences to her action will be. If the roles were reversed, do you honestly think your wife would not say anything to you about your affair? By saying nothing you allow it to continue unimpeded. Do you really her to keep having sex with another man and you being quiet about it?

No chance of STDs right now. No touching. I'm pretty sure this is for real. I set up separate bank account and P.O. box today. Also called private investigators to see what it would cost to get proof. I really don't want to expose anything unless I'm absolutely sure. Almost positive it's bad news but I so don't want to believe it.
Me BS 37
WW 36
DD 7
DS 4

I just had another thought. She's been in IC since August. 1 hour session with female therapist about once a week. The therapy hasn't had any noticeable effect on convincing her to work on the marriage. I think the therapist may be telling her to "make yourself happy and if you have to get out of your boring marriage to do it then go ahead." She hasn't been honest with me about the OM yet. Anybody think WW would be honest with her IC about an affair? Or does WW think the affair is not important or related to her "other deep meaningful psychological changes", and not reveal the affair to the IC either?
BS me 37
WW 36
DD 7
DS 4