Thank you for causing me more confusion without explaining yourself.

You want an explaination?

Now I'm confused ... you and I have fundamental differences in philosophies ... so I don't think I can be useful to you. Hopefully someone else, with a philosophy more close to yours can come along and help you change your wife's affections.

Really, BEST of luck to you and yours.

I just find it hard to give up on a 15 year relationship because of a piece of paper that really doesnt change the relationship one way or the other. Nothing changed when we got married (8 years into the relationship), I loved her as much before the wedding as after it, why should I quit loving her after the divorce? Im not harassing her, shes just very confused and I have tried to be a friend and help her through this with the hope that her feelings will return but it isnt working so Im looking for some other tactics. She still calls me more than I call her and shes the one that has suggested moving back in together several times in the last few months, but I dont feel comfortable moving back in together until things feel better and they dont, I still get no affectionate or loving feelings from her and I dont think that will return until her affair ends so Im trying to figure out how to make that happen, unfortunately I didnt find this site until about a week ago so I could do a formal plan a/b when it would have helped more

AtomicSpin,

From what I understood you are here not to "prevent divorce" but you are tyring to "build a relationship". Plan A/B would not help you. However it doesn't mean you could not benefit from MB, the concept is the same. Read up Basic concepts, make sure you understand ENs, LBs, time and radical honesty (4 gifts of love). If she doesn't reject it, you could build LU.

Rather than exposing ... how about compete w/ her lover ?.

-rh-

Ahhhhhhh, now I get it. When all is said and done, you don't want to re-marry her, do you? I note you've specifically avoided questions about that. Actually, you're perfectly happy being a boyfriend pursuing an available girl. You just want help from us on how to eliminate the competition. Sorry. I’m outa here. Good luck.

AS:

I'm confused 2. Why did you DV if you love your xW? And why did you evade Pep's direct 2uestion so many times about whether your goal is 2 remarry?

Also: You don't impress someone by trying 2 change them. You might just amaze yourself if you explore your perspective a bit, figure out why you feel and want the things you think you're feeling and wanting.

It's been quoted many times before: "Happiness isn't having what you want, but wanting what you have."

-ol' 2long