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Painful memories
#1556476 01/07/06 11:13 AM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 23
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nikon98343
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nikon98343
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 23
I made it past Christmas, even thogh I often though about FWW actions at the same time last year. Now her birthday is coming up. We are doing great, and our marriage is stronger than ever, but on on special occasions it is hard for me to focus on the present on not imagine what she was doing at the same time last year. To give a recap of my situation, my wife had multiple affairs over a year and half, mostly for the year I was overseas. Now all that is over, and we are doing very well, but I have a hard time enjoying things like holidays and birthdays because I just imagine what she was doing on the last one with me gone.
Re: Painful memories
nikon98343 #1556477 01/07/06 11:18 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271
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eaglesoar Offline
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eaglesoar
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Posts: 271
Yes, that is very hard to imagine all that. However, for every instance you feel that sadness, or find yourself dwelling on those events think of two things: 1.) pull up a favorite memory of you and your W when you were happy; then 2.) think of something positive about where the two of you are currently.

Stay strong!

Me = FBS age 51
FWH = age 51
M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20
D-Day 5/19/05
Recovered and happy
Re: Painful memories
nikon98343 #1556478 01/07/06 11:47 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
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Nerlycrzy Offline
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Nerlycrzy
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nikon,

The secret to solving painful memories is to replace them.

Replace them with NEW memories.

Try to do something special, something meaningful, so NEXT year, when you look back on this date, you will have GOOD thoughts of the new memories overriding the bad ones. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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