I couldn't stand the secrecy and lies any longer. I went over to my H's apartment and while he was in the shower. I took his prepay cell and returned it later that night. I read his text and he sent one to a female saying that he missed her. I called and she was a christin assured me there was nothing else going on. I called several other numbers he had a host of women none of which knew he was M. Well I got to the last one she was 15 years his jr. She thinks her 5 yr old son is his. (totally devastated) My H called me and yelled his had off then said I am going to quit F_______ with you! He blew a gasket . He is soooooooooooo ashamed, embarrased, furious and humiliated. He has not spoken to me every since that day 3 days ago. I thought I could handle the reprocussions. But I ache sooooooooooo bad. I went over to his place & he will not open the door or answer my calls. (I don't blame him because in his eyes I am a thief and apparently dumb.

I am still able to check his messages and I know he has heard my messages. He saved one message in which I was a mess, balling. (even I felt badly for my self, just listening to it made me want to cry) He erased all of my other messages. So I wonder why he kept that message?

[color:"red"] [/color] The nights are evil and I have a hard time sleeping. So I just call his numbers and he doesn't answer so I check his vm, awful habit.

Ok so if you all think that it's really over then I will try to pick up the pieces and move on, but where do I get started. I had to know what he was hiding.

Every woman having an A c/b any religion but not practicing correctly. Saying one of the OWs is a christian is like saying Hitler went to church....may be he did but he still murdered people.

That point aside, your WS c/b a predator. If so you need to get yourself financially safe from him. If he is being manipulated and needs help, he needs to prove that he needs help.

At this point you don't know what to believe. The fact that one of the OWs says she may have a son by him is a big red flag either way. Women of that sort are very coniving. Go secure your finances ASAP so that OW can't touch what belongs to your family. Expect her to. That w/b another sign to know who is the predator and who is the victim (between the WS and OPs).

It appears you c/b dealing with a serial A WS. Do you have a good MC and lawyer?

L.

YOU did not blow it, HE did.

Get a good attorney right away. You need to be protected.

You did not blow it.

The truth never changes...it was always out there and you discovering it should not make any difference whatsoever in a real loving relationship. It was YOUR truth and you were entitled to it.

He is punishing you for acting and thinking for yourself. He may/will call again only to test you to see if ignoring you and blaming you had any effect. If he can manipulate you again he will. If you stay strong he will likely punish you some more or you can read up here how to reverse babble and perhaps Plan A him back to you.

You sound as though you are going some roller coaster withdrawal yourself. You are addicted to you husband, just as I am my FWW and it is difficult when they pull away from you completely. Someday you may pull away from him and the same feelings will occur. Recognize it as normal when someone you care about disappears...it means nothing more than that.

I do not know your whole story but just from your post above reconciling with your WH sounds discouraging (for you). You deserve better. But this is a marriage building site and if that is what you want we can and will help.

Regardless...You will make it.

Mr. Wondering

BTW,

He kept that ONE bad message to assist him when he feels guilty for walking out and/or cheating on you.

It's kind of a Rationalization/Justification security blanket.

He can listen to it and say..."see how crazy she is...I deserve better...It's not my problem...These other girls don't have these type issues and I deserve them" Or even..."listen to this OW and hear how crazy my ball and chain is...will you comfort me...I am a victim of a crazy wife and crazy marriage."

Just guessing.

Mr. W

Now, I want to call and erase it. He'll never know.

I will have to practice self-control.

Will he ever speak to me again?