My Husband is constantly lieing to me. 4 lies I caught him in in Dec. and another one 2 days ago. I am so tired of it. How can you work on a marriage with a liar?

Please pray.

Lady

what type of things does he lie about ?

Hi Florida,

Decembers lies....

1. He lied on a work application. The employer said as far as he was concerned he was hired, security job, and gave him his uniform. Then when they did a back ground check, they found he lied on his previous record. He had to return his uniform, with no hire.

2. Said he had a mole by his underwear and needed to see the dermatologist. He really had genital warts all over his genitals.

3. Lied to me about a call by a lady named Pam. He said she was from a previous job he applied for. When I told him I knew he was lieing, he finally told me it was a Pam from a previous Apt. that he applied for back in Sept. I had no idea he was looking for an apt. I was shocked and hurt.

4. He didn't tell me he had got another credit card. He hid it til I found out. Which is against POJA that we agreed to 3 yrs ago, that he doesn't get any more credit cards unless he discusses it with me first.

Jan. lie....

5. He got a Workmans Comp. settlement money in the mail and didn't tell me he had got it. And he told me last week it wasn't going to be what the paper said, but less. When I looked at it, it was the same amount the paper said. I don't care about that money anyway. He got it after he sued a company he only worked for for 3 months, carpel tunnel. But around that time he was heavily lifting weights too. I didn't think he should have sued the company that was so nice to give him a job, and free transportation to work too. He could have had his job back after his surgery, now he doesn't have that chance. I was very much against his doing it.


Lady

ladysheep - it is very difficult, if not impossible, to "work on" a marriage where one partner has made lying to "get what they want" a part of their personality and who they are. It's just another example of "the ends justify the means" sort of thinking.

You CAN remain in a marriage with such a person in the hope that they will change, but it's not likely they WILL change unless they want to change and eliminate lying for themselves. Were you NOT married to him, I would tell you to "run for the hills." But you ARE married. Thus, the ability to "run for the hills" is governed by God's will, not mine or yours.

"Marital Unfaithfulness" is most often thought of as sexual adultery, but it is far more encompassing than that. I don't know your beliefs and I don't know your husband's beliefs, but I can tell you that at the very least your husband needs psychological counseling to address the lying issue. But he first needs to recognize it as a problem for himself(not just a problem in YOUR mind), and I don't hear that recognition in what you've posted.

What you don't need is some "half-hearted" agreement to seek counseling just to "placate" YOU. It has to be about, and for, HIM, by his choice in recognizing a problem and wanting to learn how to change his established "normal behavior."

From your standpoint, God has given reasons why someone CAN divorce, so it sounds like you have "grounds" if you don't see a real chance of things changing. Frankly, unless your husband is willing to surrender his life, totally, to God through Christ, I don't see much likelihood that he will change his "ways" in anything more than a temporary way in order to manipulate you into thinking he's a "changed man."

It is a very tough decision you are facing. Only you have all the facts. But I would seek some good and solid Counsel locally before settling on a "life-changing" decision. You are right though, the "status quo" does sound untenable for long-term happiness and a marriage that honors God.

I pray for wisdom and comfort from God for you, so that you will know God's will in this matter through all your emotional and mental stress. Remember, ladysheep, God is a God of Peace also for his children....that is why even though divorce should be our last resort, it is NOT forbidden. God only says "have a legitimate reason by MY standards, and I will give you Peace. YOUR future is in MY capable hands."

God bless.

Hey lady I found you Hone we really ae going through the samething as far a marriage and lies maybe we can work this out together some how by putting our heads together and being a buddy system for one another what do you think? I looked all over the forum for you yesterday after you left me that message and I was wanting to talk to you but now I have so please contact me ok I will be in touch with you have a good day I know it must be hard I think of my stuff all day but work is my outlet and well I use it well HA HA I will be home around 12 am talk to you later

meet me in general questions II ok