today would have been mine and exBF one year anniversary....

Heartbreak sucks big time. sigh

On a positive note, guess what I'm gonna do to shake the blues away?

I'm taking my 1st EVER belly dancing class! I figured I want to get cardiovasularly fit, and since I hate all things running, jogging, walking, why not do something I like......like shaking my boo-tay! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

DW

I am sorry for your un-anniversary. We seem to have a lot of them, don't we?

You are doing excactly what you need to do. Taking the class and improving yourself while having some fun is the way to go. I know it is a cliche and it is hard to do, but working on yourself is the best thing to do.

Thinking of you DW!

I know the heartache, so I do feel the pain with you.

Good for you on the class!
Let us know how that goes for you. Myself, I enjoy walking and jogging. Exercise is an excellent release, while working on self!

Stay positive!
Karona

I know how you feel too, hun. I had a brief blue moment on Dec 29 on my Wedding un-Anniversary. (They are briefer every year, maybe I won't even think of it next year!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )

Then, I was surprised again when my cousin announced she was pregnant. Yay! I was happy for her, but it kinda stung that I'm now the only one in our family without kids. It brought up my divorce, and the fact that "he" (you know, the evil WS XH <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />) ruined the plans for my life (pity party <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) and I probably won't have kids now, and every family gathering I'll be sitting alone, with no children. But... like YOU... I did some things for myself this weekend, and shook those blues away!!!

I'm sorry you were/are blue, but PROUD of you shaking them away with a plan! You go girl! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks everyone! So very nice of you all to jump in and offer encouragement. It really helps <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Feeling better today and my belly dancing class was FABULOUS! I had so much fun, got some great exercise and I've even recruited a g/f to go with me next week <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> It didn't chase the blues away completely, but it did make me feel better about myself and I was happy that on the spur of the moment, I went out and did something different...

Faith, I think we'll always bear scars of our past and we'll always have triggers unfortunately and it's NOT a pity party grieving the death of a dream, so here's a big (((hug))) your way.

I've got to remind myself to cut myself a break too....it's almost been 3 mos since our break up and, even though I'm better and I'm improving, I still miss him terribly and I still love him, but my mind keeps wanting to jump in and say, "c'mon girl! Move on!". Wish it were that easy.

DW

DW~~

It has taken me 7 mos to move on from xbf. I'm not saying that to be depressing, only that it takes time.
Don't be so hard on yourself, 3mos is a short amount of time to get over someone that was significant to you.

Oh, and glad you enjoyed the class! Sounds like fun.

Karona

There is no easy way to shake off these blues, other than letting time pass. At some point you will suddenly realize that you are over the heartbreak, but it doesn't happen overnight. I am sorry, DW, and I hope you'll feel better soon <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. And enjoy the class!!

AGG

You're right. Thank you for saying that. Stay positive!

(I'm so glad you de-lurked... your posts are very helpful!!!)

hugggsssss

Thanks Karona. It's not depressing....actually, it helps. Some days I feel like I'm stagnating, b/c I can't stop thinking about him, reminiscing, still feeling the pain of our break up and then THAT makes me wonder, shouldn't I be somewhat over this by now? So then THAT leads to thoughts of, well is there something wrong w/ me? So it's nice to know that what I'm feeling is normal and my timeline is normal.....In our last convo about a month ago, he basically implied that he'd moved on, so I think that that's why I'm kind of upset w/ myself b/c *I* don't feel like I've moved on, kwim? I find it a bit insulting and it really ticks me off that he's been able to, yet I sit here just pining away <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I just soooooo badly want to be thru this part of my grieving! I'm tired of feeling this way! I no longer want thoughts of him to be painful. I no longer want thoughts of our relationship to cause longing.....I want to release it and just be able to remember it all fondly.

I know you guys. Time. I guess I'm not a very patient person <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Faith~~What a really nice thing to say....thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

DW

Thanks AGG <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> It is getting better, I just want to be over it NOW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"I just soooooo badly want to be thru this part of my grieving! I'm tired of feeling this way! I no longer want thoughts of him to be painful. I no longer want thoughts of our relationship to cause longing.....I want to release it and just be able to remember it all fondly."

Oh, and I remember feeling like this too, probably about the same timeline as you.
Tired of feeling it, tired of talking about 'him' knowing I'm probably driving friends/family/board crazy because I'm not over him.

I think you're healing correctly.
You're feeling the loss, grieving it, and you will heal, and you will remember it fondly.
As far as him moving on so effortlessly? I'm not so sure.
I thought my xbf did, but as I have found out recently, not the case. He jumped into another relationship, heck, even married her, but he is not happy.

I wish the pain could go away for you too, but time is key.

I, like Faith, have thought recently the same, Glad you decided to join the group!

Take care of yourself!
Karona

DW,
Sorry about your pain!!! It is such a cycle, and really, after grieving a marriage, you wonder why you have to grieve a BF/GF relationship too! It seems like it would be so much easier to get over, but it's not, and it seems to unearth with it some of the pain from the marriage....go figure. Anyhow, I too am glad you are back on the board, I enjoy your comments. I wonder why we have to go through these things, and guess we will look back one day and understand...

Hi DW, I want to know how you liked the belly dancing class? I've thought about doing that several times, but never seem to find the time to take any classes of any kind.

I broke up with BF of 3 years about 6 months ago. I still grieve over break-up. Not wanting him back but, like kk said, it does seem to unearth the grief from end of M, and makes me scared of trying again (once dv is final...).

LetSTry~~

I really enjoyed the class immensely. Got a pretty good work out, it was fun, upbeat and really got my mind off things. I can't wait to go on Sun again......you should definitely try it! What was really neat is there were women of all ages, shapes and sizes and they were all having fun!

KK & Lets~~I hear ya! The pain I went thru after Dday and the subsequent end of my marriage was THE most excrutiating thing I've ever been thru...even worse than the death of my beloved father....so one would think a relationship that had only lasted 10 mos would not be so difficult, but not true! It hurts! But yes, I agree, it un-earths all those past feelings and then you heap new ones on top, well, it's certainly a recipe for pain. I think for me, I finally felt *safe* enough to love again and then I felt he pulled the rug right out from underneath me. The relationship was wonderful and then bam! it was gone....what I'm trying to avoid is the fear to open myself up for love again. So I'm giving myself time to grieve and heal so that I don't carry the hurt/anger/pain from this break-up....I wanna be fresh for the one that's out there for me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

It's bloody hard work tho'......

DW

Hey, I volunteer to go also. Not as a dancer, I don't have that much of a belly, but as an observer.

The fuddy-duddies in my area don't allow guys to observe the belly dancing classes. And that goes double for the strip-tease classes. They're no fun al all.

'Fraid the same goes here Justin.....buncha party poopers <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />