SR~~

I do feel for you. I know I came off very harsh before, but I know how difficult break ups can be, especially if there is continued contact. My exBF broke up w/ me over 3 mo's ago w/ no contact, and I still struggle.

At least now he's talking and not throwing stuff away in the trash.....

What is he saying?

Thinking of you!
hugs
DW

Bumping you up Still~~

Are you doing okay?
Hope all is well.

Thinking of you!
K

SR,

I'm sitting here reading your posts and see all the red flags, and the boundary breaking issues are HUGE!!

One thing that I believe you really need to look at within yourself, that will make it easier for you to end this nightmare now--is figuring out your reasons for wanting/needing to be in a relationship.

Is it that you want/need to be in a relationship SOOOO badly that you will settle for someone who is clearly NOT ready for a relationship?

From this post alone, I can tell you that this man is VERY controlling, as he continually tries to 'force' a relationship on you, when clearly you've tried to end it.

My fear for you, is that if you don't end it NOW, he will pressure you into marrying him, and you will feel as if you don't have any other choice.

If he will not take you seriously in ending it, and will continually try to wear you down, until you give in again, like you did before. So, you may need to consider getting a restraining order.

When he calls don't answer or let him know you can't talk right now, if he e-mails delete them and don't respond to them.

This is part of YOUR needing to learn to stand firm in your own boundaries.

Thanks for all of the support everyone. I am doing quite well, but I have been having computer issues at work so I haven't been able to check in.

You are all right, I need to look at everything, figure out why I put up with the stuff and get firm in my boundaries. I am working on it and things are going better.

Never worry about being too harsh. I am very open to all input.

Have to run.

Take care and God bless!

K

So, does that mean you are still together?

No. I can't be with someone who can't respect my opinions. I will admit that I have spoken with him however. As we are apart he has suddenly been willing to compromise and see things from my perspective, but it is just words.

Take care and God bless!

K

Thinking of you Still.
Be strong! You deserve so much more than someone who doesn't respect you.

K.

New update-

He asked me to do something and I declined. From this he went on about how he was assuming that I was declining to stay at home to finally take care of things that I am constantly neglecting, ie. a couple projects I had been putting off because my free time had continually been centered around him. Anyhow, I felt like ripping his head off, reminding I don't have mommy and daddy to do all my work, etc., but just ignored it. He is such an @$$!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

Take care and God bless!

K

I couldn't agree more SR! Sending you hugs, b/c I know how hard break-ups are......

BTW, he sounds EXACTLY like my disaster/learning relationship---mine was a never married man in his 40's, no kids, who was critical, opinionated and disrespectful, who treated me VERY poorly, who amazingly *saw the light* once I dumped him <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> OY! I too had to examine WHY *I* put up w/ it for as long as I did and allowed someone to walk all over me....

Like you said, it's all words. I've learned a leopard can't really change his spots. At least, not the essential, core spots....

DW

OH, it just couldn't BE that you were possibly declining him.
You keep being strong Still. There is someone for you to meet that will be all that you desire.

K.

SR, this guy is a real piece of work <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It's amazing how he STILL manages to criticize something about you. I bet you could sit there think and find criticisms in just about every conversation you've had w/ him. I don't mean to keep comparing, but I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say we dated the same guy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm just so glad for you that you've seen the light and have stopped wasting your time on Mr Wrong.

I also think you should stop communications w/ him. Is he someone who's friendship/communication you value? He just doesn't sound like he's happy w/ himself, therefore he must continually find fault w/ others. Classic textbook stuff.

Why does he still live at home?

Oh wait, I just remembered. He doesn't live at home, but his parents come and clean and do stuff for him, right?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You are right, constant criticism, masked as concern and trying to better me.

Imagine that, lowly little me turning all important him down!

No, I have plenty of "real" friends. He isn't needed. The phone is off!

Take care and God bless!

K

Whoa, Still, you have had your fill.
Sometimes it takes getting to that point, and then we are done.

You are on the right path!

Take care of yourself, and continue to be strong.
K.

You are very right, sr.
(I felt 'wrong' from the beginning... and am glad you became aware of some things...)

He has (among other things) a self-esteem issue.
He might seem 'superior' by putting you down, but if you go behind his mask, I see a very insecure person... He doesn't like himself either... and that (why isn't he) is always a big 'red flag'...