Hello all. This is probably going to be a long post, I hope you all can give me some insight. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we have a 2 y/o son together. Our entire marriage has been nothing but HIGH stress and lots of fighting. Before we got married, we got along great. My husband was a sweetie-pie, nothing like he is now. I have a lot of resentment towards him, and I really don't think I love him anymore. I surely am not "in love" with him anymore. I do love him as a person, and as the father of my child, but I think thats it. I do not respect him, and he does not respect me. My opinion of him and his character is low. I have no trust in him, he lies and bends the truth a lot. He is very selfish. He has anger issues. I can't even go out with my friends without getting "punished" by him. The man I am married to now is not the man I was in love with. I personally think he has BPD, borderline personality disorder. My therapist believes so also. AND, the reason we got to that conclusion was because I found his Navy discharge papers one day a long time ago that said he was discharged and the reason was "personality disorder". I confronted him about that and he said it wasn't true, that he was just fooling the military DR's to get out of the service. I don't believe that one minute. The only reason I am still with him right now is because of our son. He is a good day, for the most part. My marriage has me very stressed out. I have GREY hair, and I am only 24 years old!! I have been thinking about leaving him, have been for over a year now ... I just can't seem to actually do it! It all boils down to whats best for my son. And, I know some of you are going to throw the "counseling" suggestion out there, but we have been twice, to two different therapists together and we have gotten no where from it. I think about how CALM my life would be if we weren't together. I don't know what to do. All I wanted in life was to have a complete family, and I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Thanks.

Hello SM -

Welcome to MarriageBuilders...I am sorry for your situation, but you have come to the right place.

Have you read His Needs/Her Needs? Is your H willing to work on the M? Have you read the basic principles on the site?

One other word of advice, try your post in the General Questions II forum, as there is much more traffic there, as well as many more people who can offer much more sage advice...

It is not too late to save your M...



TM

Can you pinpoint around the time the fighting began, and what may have ignited the stress? Could it have started when your son came along?

Is there any posibility of you falling back in love with him, if things were to change, again? Something obviously drew you two together to begin with. Could that be re-discovered, given the right circumstances?

If you still have hope, then there IS hope, and you've definately come to the right place! There are alot of wise people here, who survived many trials, and have become stronger from it. It's a great support system. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> You are not alone.

TravellinMan is right. The General Questions II board moves alot faster, and you'll get quicker responses to your questions.

Good Luck and God Bless....

Jennifer68