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Question / Help
#1558303 01/09/06 12:52 PM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 67
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whitegirl
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whitegirl
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Me and my H have talked over the weekend, and we have talked about ow and both oc more. It was good to get things off my chest.

But here is my question, what do you do or say, when your H says he feels nothing for OW but she OF COURSE still has feelings for him.

I seen a txt message she sent him, I did not say anythig yet but she sent him a text message yesterday, saying..... Siitin here thinking of you bringin a smile to my face luv u. (something like that might not be those exact words, but I love you was in there) what do you do? I feel like I have nothing to worry about but sometimes in the back of my head, I just wonder kwim? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Does anyone have any suggestions.

HELP ME PLEASE

BS(me) 27 WS (H) 34 Married 6yrs. Together 9yrs. Stepson-16 Stepson-10 my son-6 OC #1 (G) - 2 OC #2 (G) - 1 DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
Re: Question / Help
whitegirl #1558304 01/09/06 01:13 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
la la land aka land of fruits ...
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faithful follower Offline
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faithful follower
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la la land aka land of fruits ...
Whitegirl, do you and your H have C with OC?

Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Re: Question / Help
faithful follower #1558305 01/09/06 03:16 PM
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whitegirl
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whitegirl
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yes we have C with Both OC. Well, he talks to oldest on the phone every couple of days. We do not get them that often and when we do, they DO NOT spend the night. The last time I seen them was the Sat. of Thanksgiving. But my H has seen them 2 times in Dec. He went on oldest B-day to give her, her gifts and went on Christmas day to give them their gifts. I did not go. Did not really want to. But we do have C.

BS(me) 27 WS (H) 34 Married 6yrs. Together 9yrs. Stepson-16 Stepson-10 my son-6 OC #1 (G) - 2 OC #2 (G) - 1 DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
Re: Question / Help
whitegirl #1558306 01/09/06 03:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 217
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Mily Offline
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Mily
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From my experience, when OW sent him messages like that and/or left messages like that was because she still had hopes that he would be back with her. Maybe unconsciously he is sending her mixed signals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

me-34
xH-38
DD 10/03
D-day 11/03 (cellphone)
Talked-Day 01/04
H left-02/04
Divorce-05/04
xH left -false recovery 1 week- 08/04 -told about OC
OC-07/04
xH left -false recovery 6 weeks- 12/01/04
12/02/04 DESTRUCTION OF MILY MUST END
1/17/05 - Started dating
11/05 - CS and visitation established at Court
02/28/06 - xH moves back after 2 yrs!
10/16/07 - asked xH to leave - he's still in a relationship with OW
Re: Question / Help
Mily #1558307 01/09/06 04:01 PM
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whitegirl
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whitegirl
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I pray and hope that, that is what it is. I truly think she really wants him to be with her and he has told me and I know him well enough to know that even if it did not work out between us that he would NOT go be with her. He would not do it. He says he would NEVER be with her if it did not work out between us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I can only hope he is tellin me the truth and not just blowing smoke up my [censored]. WHich I dont think he is. I just hate it, hate the wole situation. Wish this would have never happened. But it did and DAMN< it did not happen once it happened twice. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just have my days and today is one of those days.

BS(me) 27 WS (H) 34 Married 6yrs. Together 9yrs. Stepson-16 Stepson-10 my son-6 OC #1 (G) - 2 OC #2 (G) - 1 DD-#1 6/21/04' #2 7/5/05
Re: Question / Help
whitegirl #1558308 01/09/06 04:43 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
la la land aka land of fruits ...
F
faithful follower Offline
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faithful follower
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la la land aka land of fruits ...
Whitegirl, just MHO but I would not allow my H to have C without me being there. If nothing else it sends the OW the wrong message that there may be "hope" and to me it allows the tempation of feelings to develop again.

Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Re: Question / Help
faithful follower #1558309 01/09/06 09:41 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 270
East Coast
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crazyhurt Offline
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crazyhurt
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Posts: 270
East Coast
I agree with faithful follower. I would be with him when he went for visits with the children. Leave no room for error.

April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.

My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
Re: Question / Help
crazyhurt #1558310 01/10/06 07:38 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 215
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Carolyn73 Offline
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Carolyn73
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i think i am going to raise my hand on this one too. In my experience the only way contact works is for it to be done within the confines of your family and relationship. The OC's come to you, he doesnt go to them.

I am sorry you are going through this.

Carolyn

BW -33 (Me)
WH-38
M- 4 years/together 10
OC (girl) born 03/03
D-Day 08/02

True friends stab you in the front - Oscar Wilde

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