BKarl,

I once told my MIL that I can imagine her pain was greater than mine, and I can anticipate that the pain of raising a son who turns out to be a terrible husband would be worse than having a terrible husband yourself. So, Mulan, do look at what message you are sending your son by being willing to stay with your husband. I am looking at that message. It's hard. But a boy brought up in a house in which there is little or no respect or regard for the wife will learn not to respect or care for his own wife. I saw it in my father in law. I see it in my husband. I do not want to see it in my son.
Cherished

Mulan, in a strange way, I admire you. You've set your goal and you're sticking to it. Some days, I don't know whether to shaking you or send you the biggest hug possible. However, I know your clock is ticking.

I say, keep the pearls. It sounds like a gorgeous necklace. I love lapis and I love pearls. Together, they sounds pretty special...special for a lot of people. How shallow is your H when he can't even find different things for the different women in the compartments of his life. Talk about interchangeable parts.

Why do I say keep them? Shoot, you don't ever have to wear them. I can really understand not wanting to make use of a WH's gifts. (Ask me about my birthday I-pod...) However, they should have some value. Save them for a rainy day and sell them to get something that IS special to you. You don't know what the future will bring. You may need a little cushion.

Mulan,

You are quite possibly one of the funniest people around. Your sarcastic wit cracks me up.



I opt for selling the pearls and getting something you like.

An e-bay thread for MB sounds like another great idea. Just think of all the perfectly good items that have been tossed in the trash as a result of all these A's. Might as well put some of these items to good use.

We have disposed of: cologne, a truck (did sell that one), misc. shirts, a chess set, a Superman coffee cup, underwear (doubt we could have gotten much for those), etc...

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Sorry your gift was tainted. You deserve much more than lapis and pearls anyway.

Thanks for all the responses. I don't think DS18 knows about the porn stash. Even if he does, he is very good to his own girlfriends and is always a gentleman. That's the best I can hope for and that's how I taught him to be. I can't keep all the porn in the world away from him. I can only teach him how to act and how to cope and what's really important.

I don't ever want to see the pearls again (unless I pack them up and send them to Believer.) Besides, I don't even know if they're real. I don't think WH ever thought of that. He always seems to get HUGE buzz out of scoring something cheap/free -- you know, like getting a restaurant to give you a free dessert, or getting a used car at a great price, something like that. Or scoring free attention from other women, attention he thinks he can either justify or lie about.

I don't it ever occurred to him that a Chinese merchant in the streets of Shanghai just might lie to some big grinning Westerner who thinks he's getting a great deal.
Mulan

If she doesn't, I do! I wouldn't mind a bit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Mulan:

Sell those pearls on ebay (or take them to a jeweler who deals in "estate pieces") and buy something for yourself you would enjoy.