I think that we are all soooo good at seeing where we've went wrong in our marraiges. Maybe we let the WS's affair go on for a period, not knowing what to do about it. Maybe we took them back repeatedly after NC. Maybe we LB way too much... on and on. You know what I mean. Well, what did you do right? Maybe you need a pat on the back for those things you did well. Maybe by thinking about the things we're doing right, we can not only work on minimizing the bad but doing more of the good. For me, I think I did good on several things. First of all, I didnt' let my H EA on the net continue, with my blessing so to speak. There was a nuclear explosion at our house! There is no doubt in his mind that there can EVER be any other women in our life, in ANY way, and there still be a relationship between us. Secondly, when he begged me to come back, I came, and I've been working my tail off to meet his EN's. And finally, I think I've finally started to conquer my almost insatable desire to beg, plead, cry and otherwise grovel and humiliate myself. I let him know my needs calmly and then leave it in his court, I'm starting to build other relationships and interests outside of my marraige, a support system so to speak, so that I'm not so desperate for his affection, friendship and approval. And.. he's coming around!!!! MB's does work! It's slow, it's painful but it can work!

I think this is a splendid realization for you.

Bravo

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thank you! Believe me that this has been a lifelong battle and I must say that I'm quite proud of myself too!