Hello to all from PA.,
My name is billie jo but just call me BJ. I'm new to this group. So since i'm new here's a little bit about me. I'm 31 have two kids girl 5 and a boy 3. My H told me on dec. 2 that he wanted the big D turns out it was way of saying he and us needed help. He says that he only got married to me because he felt he had to something about it was the next thing we were sopost to do even if i didn't want or beleive in being married. We got married because he didn't want to have kids out of wedlock so we got married it took him 2yr. for me to say yes. A few months later we got pregent with our 1st. He would always find way not to be with me after the baby was born.
I still tryed to worked this out with him and we had our go times and bad. Then he started talking about a good time to have are son. You a time line because he was half way out of school our son came a year earlier then planed.
Back to now he tells me he cares for me and stayed out of duty to me and the kids. That he never loved me and the kids the way he sould most of the time we made him feel traped and sad.
So he had a clairaty of thought and needs help he said there must be something wrong with him if he can't even love his own kids.
I'm new to the computer thing but, we went and got one he started showing me how to use it. I started going into things on the computer ( files ) found something called gmail it was his emails to a old girlfriend he told me he was talking to her again he never hid that from me he did hide the fact that he cares very much from her. Writing things like he wouldn't move half way around the world just for a girlfiend. That he can't wait to talk to her on the conputer that it makes him so happy to see a email from her.
After i told him what i found things started to change with her. She told him she would be his friend but nothen more. It makes me happy to know she is hurting him as much as is hurting me now. Their email now say more like hows work going if his family comes up it more like ( hows things at home) he tells her getting better or things are not well.Not to much more then that.
He tells me now he wants to work things out with me but my trust in him is gone and it's to soon to let him have my trust again.
He started going to a psychologist on friday to help with the issues he's dealing with. I won't go to the dr. till i know for sure he really wants to be with me and can learn to love me like i use to love him. Even my love for him has gone down.
He is trying he wants us to go out on a date. He's making plans for us to go to the DOVE it a romanic place to go without the kids to just be together and try new things like skying or tubing.
We don't match he is very smart his job is with computers and roleplaying games. I'm someone low tec. work at a food store stocking selves at night so one of use can always be home with the kids. He told me that wanting to be a good mom wasn't good enough for him that pissed me off so much.
So there is a long part of my story.
thank you all for reading my story and i can't wait to see what you all think.
P.S. qu. has anyone been able to save their marrage after being told that you are not and never were loved and not good enough to love?
BJ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />sorry if it's hard to read i'm not a very good speller.
