Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 43
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 43 |
I believe my profile will help with details. The bottom line, my H was with a hooker on a business trip-almost a year ago.
We went to MC and I thought were making progress. Filled out EN's - even in my early months I tried to meet them- he did not. I think he
forgot about it (he is 'not a reader') he never picked up a book, read on MB, nothing.
I am hurt because he has trampled on all of my set boundaries I made after DDAY. Lied to me twice. Drinking. Porn. Blood tests for HIV, never followed through. He stopped going to MC.
He has given me the silent treatment many times. The more I asked what was on his mind and tried to make it safe for him to talk... the more he retreats.
I am now in a 12 step support group as he has a sexual addiction I think, and is drinking heavily at least weekly now. The 12 step has helped tremendously.
I have avoided LB's , following radical honesty, etc.
Tried to be compassionate and understanding as best I can.
He will not talk to me, not about the marriage. In the past year I am 'all he wants, he loves me', etc.
What else can I do? I am a doormat? Do I need a 2x4 to my
stupid head?
I do not know this person I fell in love with 22 years ago.
tlsmi
Me: BS
FWH had ONS on business trip;
prostitute;how charming...
DDAY 2/3/05
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981 |
Hi, and welcome to Mb.
I am so sorry for your situation, you are, definately, not alone.
Yours is a little different, because
a. ws is addicted to porn
b. ws is addicted to alcohol
The biggest concern that I feel should take priority is the fact that he had sex with a prostitute and as a result, might be exposing you to deadly diseases.
I would definately think about not having sex until you and he have been tested for all sexually transmitted diseases and wait for a period of time for the HIV test to come back, (the second one).
The one good thing you have going for you is that your husband does not have emotional involvement with the o/w. So there is not that emotional bond.
The downside, is that he has an addiction to sex and porn.
Only counseling will help that and that is not guarenteed. There are some individuals on the board that have successfully recovered from their addiction to porn and sex, and I am sure you will get great advice from them.
Keep on posting,
K.D.'s Heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
431
guests, and
83
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,042
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
