So here I am nearly 3 and 1/2 years since DDay and I'm constntly try to find a way to assess how for I've come.
I'm always looking for signs of true progress and frequently unsure that I've made the progress that I should have at this point in time. Each of us has our own timeline for healing and forgiveness, but I've often thought mine was way too slow and something must be wrong.
So, I asked God to show me how far I've come. Crazy, right, but I needed some guidance.
Soooo, I went first to my bathroom scale and noticed that I've gained back 20 of the 42 pounds that I initially lost. I began to look further for the subtle signs. I looked out my back window, and notice that the path I had worn in my back lawn from pacing back and forth( usally aroung 3 in the morning) had disappeared. Speaking of morning, it's usally my alarm clock that now wakes me up in the am. Up till recently, I never had much use for it.
I no longer jump in my car and head for the seashore to be by myself. I no longer stalk OM so I can get my hands around his throat, I no longer head for a ginmill to get away from it all, I no longer try to completely detach from my wife to protect myself from any further hurt.
I asked God a simple question, and HE began to overwhelm me with the subtle results and answers, that up till now, were oblivious to me.
Anyone else got quiet little signs, that maybe you didn't recognized?
All Blessings,
Jerry
PS: I told HIM I wasn't all that happy about the weight gain, but alas, His will, not mine <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.
