WH came over for his weekly visit with the 2 DD's. And it was just like nothing has been going on. I did not get the tight stomach feeling either. We kept talk light mostly about his work and such then he slowing got up and said he has to leave. I said in pleasant voice good bye. There was no hug just bye. I am just in a daze. I am not sure how I should feel right now. I am pretty sure he has not contacted OMW because he has a restaining order for OMW H that will get him in big trouble. But this town is so small you will end up bumpng into each other sooner or later. We will be moving but not until June. I want to believe that this was something but my hope is waning. Any thoughts?

Well woke up today with a heavy heart. The friend that WH is staying with asked me if I wanted to have him kicked out of his house. It might get him out of the fog. I am in this zone where I don't really know what to do because WH is not actting like the person I knew. I don't know the steps to do if I think I am in Plan A. He is never around or calls. I don't see how I can give him his EN's if I don't contact him. I feel real low. Any ideas or support?

You are very, very new in this. I think it would be a mistake to have husband kicked out of his friend's house. Then he will want to move back home before he is ready.

If he continues to have no contact with the OW, he will come out of the fog.

That I agree with you but our friend says that he is not able to tell if he is in contact or not. If he kicks him out he must then move into a barracks bldg that no woman live in and he will been seen if he brings any one there. I am worried that he is going into a depression because he has been ordered to stay away from OMW and I belive he is because he likes his job but the A was not able to die a natural death. I have been reading the book SAA but it has not answered all my questions. I worry for him and don't know what to do. He has never been one to talk much about his feelings.

Okay, how did your husband come to be out of your home? Pardon me if I asked that before.

He left after he told me he was having an EA with just kissing so he says. He gave me the basic fog lines "I am not sure if I was ment to marry you. I don't miss you. OMW and me have so much in common." I must admit I did give alot of LB's in our marriage and I am getting better with help. But he just left and over the past 3 weeks he has moved stuff out. I worry that he is trying to get away from me and the DD's because he doesn't contact here anymore expect for the weekly visit. And one call right after the tiime he know I have to see the OMW. She is my DD girl scout leader.

Well, he probably feels guilty, and that is why he doesn't contact you much.

Instead of worrying about him, why don't you start making the changes you need to make? If you truly LB'd before, you need to stop that.

Were there other things that he complained about BEFORE D-day?

Yes, And they were the same things the day after D-Day and I have been trying to get help. I have been depressed for a long time and I have started Anti-D's. I have started to be in the house and be part of the family. I even have lost weight in a good way through changing my lifestyle habits. I am sad that this had to happen for me to "wake up" but I need it. Not the EA but his emotional slap. He has always been a very nice clean man and I think that is what made it so hard.

I see how is can be guilt because he has snapped at me the last time I talked to him. Nothing big but I am still concerned that there is no outlet for him. I want to be welcoming but I don't think he is ready but I am not sure he has found anyone else either. Is there a rule for me contacting him? Not to talk about big white Elephant but to say Friend Stuff. Because he still wants to be friends. FOG

Plan A includes being friendly with him.

Why were you depressed?

Was he a good husband before all of this?

Sorry, Had to go before I don't get much computer time.

As for my depression it started about 6 years ago with a very long bad pregnancy but child was fine, then wieght issue and more things that rolled into it. I was in denile for a very long time and what I got from my WH before he moved out is he was just tired of it and got to a point where he just tried to avoid it. This is the part I take blame for. But as I said before I am taking very strong actions for myself right now and felling better each day.

WH was a great husband before this but it has been awhile since I took the time to notice. He had been having work problems for over a year and I feel I should have listened better.

I so worry what he is doing over the weekend because he hasn't even called to talk to the DD's. I go back and forth with the scared thoughts of he is with OMW or he is not but in a great depression and he doesn't talk to anyone.