I've posted under DO I END IT and Does Anyone Know How to Hear From God. My story is there.
Short version is that I've been separated for almost 2 years. I am confused about where to go from here. I recently stumbled upon this website so didn't know about Plan A/B, didn't know about exposing WS's affair.
There are times when I feel that so much has gone on it's beyond repair.
WS had one A less than one year after we married. I find out and confronted but never told anyone 'cause I was too embarrassed. Didn't want people to know I failed so miserably so quickly. Didn't want family/friends to know so they would think I was stupid for putting up w/that.
Two stepchildren that really wreaked havoc on what was left of the marriage.
Since separation, H has been incredibly nasty then incredibly sweet; like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Blames me for the separation and for fact that we still are. I developed a friendship w/single man at our church; church my H stopped going to long before I knew who this person was. My H and I met in church and that was a big part of our lives or should have been. He stopped going little by little. Struck up conversations w/other person at church. No contact outside church at all. Never alone. No calls, email, etc.
My H threatened to show up at church and confront this person; has done this several times. I told him if he came I would leave. That has been a fight for a year now. My H says if I go to church marriage is over; as if it isn't already. He blames everything on this. This church is my church. My family and child are there. He has said he will go w/me but the way he acts I would be afraid that I would glance in the wrong direction and he would go crazy.
Has told me several times if I go to church it's over. Told me last night if I went I knew where he would be (meant w/person w/phone friendship).

He has resumed friendship w/2nd EX (I'm 3rd marriage) and another phone friendship w/person he met through business. Tells me nothing is there, just friends, someone to talk to but...... at 2 AM and multiple times during the day? But I can't go to church?
Lots of other details are in the other posts.
Don't know how to keep one post going. Sorry if I'm messing up.
I hate the thought of being divorced a second time but I hate the thought of what I have now for rest of life. I got over the A by myself; he was no help at all. Still did same stuff he did before. Voicemail and I didn't know code,etc.
I want resolution and want it to be in God's will. I don't know how to separate myself from the situation to make a decision. Don't know how to remove feelings from the equation; I think I'm a rescuer kind of person. He has health problems. I have the insurance via work. We have business and I do books.
Thoughts? Advice?

Have you talked to an attorney -you need to get away from this abusive relationship. Mybe some IC for yourself to build up the courage to face what you know you need to face. He is an abuser in every word. He threatens you and trys to control you yet does as he pleases. Get away from him now.

Did talk to a couple of attorneys for advice.
I took a settlement plan of sorts to an attorney and we did get draft papers for review week before Christmas.
I did go to IC about 4-5 times. IC helped me to see that he is manipulating me. I've also talked to others, counselors and friends, who feel the same. I've been told a lot to leave. When I rationally do the pros and cons thing, I come up with "get out". I don't know why I struggle with it. Guess it's a second failure, thoughts of being alone, etc. Definitely not rational.