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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96
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Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96 |
I finally got her to talk a little tonight & she told me the reason she wont put any effort into repairing our marriage, she figures that if she doesnt feel anything than she cant get hurt. She says she was hurt by me & considered our relationship over which allowed her to have the affair than when the OM turned on her and decided to try & work things out with his wife, my WS was hurt that she allowed herself to be drawn into the affair. So know she is blaming both me & the OM so she just figures to stay in the marriage with me & not allow herself to feel anything & she cant get hurt.
I have been doing plan A for almost 3 months & have seen no real change & I don't know how to break through the wall she is building & Im not sure if it is even possible,
What would you suggest?
What is the best way to help her through her pain when she keeps pushing me out?
Am I fighting a loosing battle?
Cliff
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 197
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 197 |
The wall came down a little when she told you why she was so guarded emotionally. If she cryed some that is a good sighn too. If she let you hold her that is another good sighn. Do you know what her needs are? Do you know what your major LB's are? Those are the things to keep consentrating on. 3 months isn't realy very long.
Me (BS) 49
FWS 53
Married 8-14-97
PA 5-4 to 8-23-04
My kids S 13, D 23, D 27
His kids D 15, S 17, S 19, S 20, D 25, D 29
brennekerealty@hotmail.com
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96 |
I am getting a clearer picture of things & what I need to do thanks.
Cliff
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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