My Fiance has known him since she was 5 year old. At the age of 25 he went away to do his own thing and never contacted her at all. Apparently, the two of them were never an item, nor dated. Now at the age of 30, he has come back into her/our lives. I have been through some bad relationships with infidelity and secrets, etc. and this just puts flags up for me. We communicate very very well and she does everything to make me feel comfortable. She says that not only was he her best friend all her life, that it shouldn't be any different because he is a guy. She also says, he's like a brother to her. They only get together once every month as he lives an hour away and doesn't drive. They never meet at night and I always know generally where she is going (restraunt, etc). They talk almost daily via e-mail at her work and here at home. They don't msn each other, it is just the e-mails. Obviously, it makes me feel uncomfortable the they talk privately nearly every day and that he makes no attempt to make me feel comfortable by talking to me and reassuring me that he is not up to no good, etc...which I think he should do out of respect for our relationship. I trust my fiance completely, but as we all know.....little harmless ommissions turn into secrets and then they're in too deep and inappropriate talk and behaviour starts. Am I just being weird about this? Let's face it, most affairs start with co-workers or best friends....and you always hear girls say...I didn't mean to do anything, it just happened. I say things like that just happen because the husband doesn't introduce any rules about private talks.

You have a chance to dodge a bullet, son.

Being a gal with a guy friend of brotherly love, I will have to say, from my own personal experience, anything more than the friendship would simply be creepy.

I think it would be wrong for you to deny her that friendship. I would not have married my husband if he denied me my friendship with him. We have made my husband a part of that friendship. They go to games together and out to dinner. When my friend needs a serious chat, something to hash with a close friend, he will turn to me. We go through periods where we will talk almost everyday and other times when we won't talk for months. It's a unique relationship indeed, and I don't know too many that can relate to it. I can only accept that everyone else might speculate something else is going on, but I am not going to let that ruin my friendship with him. I know what I know.... and I know that I love him to pieces, but not like "that".

So, advice.... YOU get to know him. Instead of her going to dinner alone, start doing a tag a long every now and then. Enthusiastic Agreement. This is what it boils down to. She wants to go, but you feel left out and unsure of his motivations. Get in the game and get to know him. If they can't be "okay" with that, then I might would feel the need to speculate other motivations.

Would finance be open to you having access to her email account and allowing you to read the daily emails if it would make you more at ease? Perhaps a POJA would be more in order here for your situation. What would BOTH of you be comfortable with?

Here I go with my "best friend" story. No not the one i posted at general questions, this is a mutual best friend.
I met him through my husband and he would come over all the time when my husband was home or not. When my husband worked late nights he would keep me company. We talk on the phone for hours. He is a mutual friend. We both love him dearly, he knows his boundries and would never ever pull anything on his best friends wife. He has always been there for us, always, us for him. He calls our sons his godchildren although he was only godfather to one. My boys look to him as an uncle figure. It can work as long as it is a mutual friendship, of course when it isn't......