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Hi all! I'm sorry you all hate me..I do wish to help someone if i can.The very best thing you can do is to move your spouse off that 'centerstage' and put 'you' there instead.Concentrate on taking care of you,spoiling yourself,and doing things you love to do.Imagine yourself as a strong,independent person who can and will survive with or without him.Give up your obsession of catching him,controlling him,and especially changing him.Just concentrate on you.Keep a carefree,upbeat attitude.If you do this he will take notice.He won't know what to do with all his newfound freedom,and although he may have more time for cheating,his mind will keep turning back to you.Suddenly the biggest challenge for him could very well be within your own walls.He will probably begin to find himself intrigued by your new outlook...and may become interested in getting your attention.He might even worry about 'why' you are behaving this way.His confusion may make him curious,thus slow to react.Be patient.He'll probably begin to think about and recall the things that first attracted him to you.Love could reblossom.It depends on you,him and your own unique circumstance.The worst thing that could happen is that you still split up...but at least now you will be a much stronger more confident you.Remember,no man wants to feel smothered and controlled by an insecure,overbearing,overemotional woman.And it is very unattractive also.Another thing to remember is to stop threatening him with all these plan A's and plan B's...ect.Be his friend no matter what he decides to do. Make him feel comfortable enough to begin sharing his thoughts and feelings with you,without you freaking out.Tell him you promise to be understanding and to be kind to him regardless of what his choices may be.And then make sure that you stay true to that promise.Make peace once and for all with him...and with yourself.
Ashley Hart
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Ashley, you have not walked a day in our shoes to feel what we feel. Like the others said this is a website dedicated to rebuilding marriages...we don't need the "Other Woman" giving US advice. It's not my job to judge you...you will face that challenge when you come face to face with God.
BW 26 me
WH 29
Married 06-20-2003
Moved to this state 08-01-2004
Friendship between my WH and the OW began in 11-2004 then the A began I believe around 03-2005
DDay 09-17-2005
Plan A - didn't work...was still contacting the OW
Asked him to leave (Plan B) Wednesday, 01/11/2006
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Now if you could only be honest with yourself, then you might be able to be honest with others Ashley. It's a terrible thing to be self deceived.
Lady
Last edited by ladysheep; 01/15/06 07:44 PM.
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The last person we would need advice from is someone like you Ashley.Hopefully one day you will find some self respect and stop hurting people.
Until then,you are not welcome here.
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
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~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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And here is some "honest advice" for you, dear: DON'T PUT OUT FOR FREE!! Didn't your momma tell you that he won't buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Heck, at least a prostitute gets paid for her services; a ho' gets nothing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Other than that, would you like some fries with that cheeseburger, Ma'am? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I don't think it is very nice to call peole hos and treat them with such direspect when you don't even know them!!!
Ashley Hart
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Did'nt your mama ever teach you HOW TO SHARE YOUR TOYS!!!!!
Ashley Hart
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You,are not worthy of respect given what you are involved in right now.This much we know.
O
CMON moderators!
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
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~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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OH, BUT WE DO WE KNOW YOU TROLL!!! We've paid our .50 to cross your bridge...MOVE ON!!!
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Everyone - please click on Ashley's name - which will take you to a link which will allow to you "ignore" her. Best way to cook a troll that I know!
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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IM NOT AN %#$@!#@ troll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ashley Hart
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I do wish to help someone if i can.The very best thing you can do is to move your spouse off that 'centerstage' and put 'you' there instead.Concentrate on taking care of you,spoiling yourself,and doing things you love to do.Imagine yourself as a strong,independent person who can and will survive with or without him.Give up your obsession of catching him,controlling him,and especially changing him.Just concentrate on you.Keep a carefree,upbeat attitude.If you do this he will take notice.He won't know what to do with all his newfound freedom,and although he may have more time for cheating,his mind will keep turning back to you.Suddenly the biggest challenge for him could very well be within your own walls.He will probably begin to find himself intrigued by your new outlook...and may become interested in getting your attention.He might even worry about 'why' you are behaving this way.His confusion may make him curious,thus slow to react.Be patient.He'll probably begin to think about and recall the things that first attracted him to you. The irony of this post above is not lost on me. Kind of makes you chuckle a little. Get it? Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Then get a clue.You are not welcome here so stop causing us grief and go somewhere else.If you do have any shred of respectibility you will see that we do not want your advice.Leave this board.
O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
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~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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I don't think it is very nice to call peole hos and treat them with such direspect when you don't even know them!!! Yet you seem to have no problem making judgments about the wives here and actually go so far as to offer "advice" on how we should or should not behave? Why on earth would any of us hold in high regard your opinions on how a wife should conduct herself in her marriage when you obviously have very little regard for the sanctity of marriage? Is it simply your desire to come here and stir the proverbial pot with your opinions and comments? Are you simply doing so out of a desire to help anyone or yourself or is it your misguided feelings of being jilted or not considered worthy of respect based on your own situation that causes you to do so? Unless I missed it, I don't believe anyone here has stated that they hate you. It is your beliefs and actions that we find appalling.
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Yes, my dear, your are a 9873986 troll. Now , get to steppin... Stop trying to get attention - since your "man" is at home with his wife which is absolutely where he should be... Your posts have proven that your are STARVED for attenetion - find it somewhere else...
Last edited by Justuss; 01/15/06 09:45 PM.
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WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ashley Hart
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I actually don't think you are a troll Ashley. I've read a letter sent to one of my dearest MB friends from the OW and it sounds very, very similar to what you're writing here. I'm definitely not saying you are her but the similarities are there.
Oh silly me, it's because you all sound the same.
Ashley, I've been where you are. I couldn't understand why, if he was so keen on me, he wouldn't leave his wife.
Duh - why would he. He was having a wonderful time.
When the fog lifted I realised what a complete and total fool I'd been. You can't even see it which is very sad.
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Saying things like being taught to SHARE OUR TOYS is the type of comment that makes us all think you are a troll. I mean, what a ludicrous thing to say! You don't like sharing him, do you??? Why do you want him to leave his wife than if you are so into some warped form of polygamy???
Also, you still have never answered the ages of children if any with the MM. Your lack of forthcoming on this issue makes you look like you are a fiction writer...
BW 43 me
FWH 39
M 1992; DD 18. 13
OC 8-05 - no contact
In recovery 8 years
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