When WH has apparently lied to you and your daughters (again) about where he's going for the afternoon/evening and then he doesn't come home, especially after telling the kids he'd take us all to a movie this afternoon, then puts it off til tomorrow, which probably won't happen either?

When you know better about his "story", and even tried to call him on it but get dismissed with a "you're crazy" kind of look, but then you chose to make the best of it and spend time with the kids?

When the girls come down at midnight very upset and wondering why Daddy isn't coming home tonight when he promised he would be here, and they even try to call him on his cell phone but it's turned off?

No one here is able to sleep right now, and it really stinks!!!!!!!

Oh, and how do you get rid of the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that just won't go away?

How old are your DD's?

I never wanted to enable my WH, but I covered his tracks for him big time with DDs. I'm glad I did too.

Told them he was away on business when he was on trips with OW, told them he went to the Bahamas alone (!) when he was with OW, told them he was confused, trying to work things out, assured them he loved them and it had nothing to do with them...

Are there times in a private moment with him when you can try to get him to see what he is doing to them? Can they leave voicemails saying goodnight on his cell when he doesn't answer?

Really, my FWH had this all done by his father, so he was sensitive to it with our DDs, but even so the fog makes them pretty irresponsible parents.

I don't agree with making excuses for him, but you may have no choice but to explain to them that Daddy is having some problems right now and loves them but is confused.

If you can't rely on him coming home, try not to let him promise things he won't deliver on. I know that is impossible sometimes.

That gnawing feeling? That's what makes all of us BS's lose 10% or more of our bodyweight in 2 months... don't have an answer for that one. Well, maybe Steak Chalupa Supremes at Taco Bell... whatever you can choke down. And pray. Read the Psalms. Call a friend to talk. Post here. Come up with a firm solid plan of action that puts you back in the driver's seat. Those are the things that helped me.

MSA

Thanks for your response, MSA.



10 and 8 1/2.



I told him after he came home from his "thinking things over" trip over New Years weekend that the girls were devastated that he didn't want to be with them to ring in the new year. DD10 did call him a little while ago tonight kind of angry asking him why he wasn't home and told him he needed to come home right now.



Oh, they KNOW he's having problems, that WE'RE having problems, and when DD10 says grace at dinnertime, she always asks God to make our family happy again. DD8 told me tonight that he must hate me and that's why he's not here tonight. They have also told us/me more than once, including this evening, that he and I need to get away together for a few days, and they'll watch the house for us. LOL!!!

When we pulled up to the house tonight after spending time with some family friends, I told them that there was a good chance that Daddy wouldn't be home tonight. I didn't know what else to say, but I didn't want them to keep looking for him to walk through the door when my gut was telling me that he wouldn't.



Yeah, I've lost almost 10 pounds in the last couple of weeks, and I am eating; I think the Wellbutrin is contributing to the weight loss too. (And for some reason, the thought of Steak Chalupas makes me want to gag! LOL!!!) I've been doing a lot of praying, and reading Psalms and other parts of Bible, talking a lot, posting a little. Coming up with a firm plan of action is where I'm stuck right now. Except that I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and my hands off, and "letting" God handle this since He's the only one who can anyway.

I was afraid of that, about the Chalupas. See, what works for one person doesn't necessarily translate.

It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job to me with your girls. And I love it that they aren't afraid to hold him accountable and tell him what they think of his comings & goings!

Leave God in the driver's seat, you will be in Good Hands...

MSA