"Fog talk" is right. My H would say the very same thing of those comments. My H 'tried' as well, to say that he hadn't loved me for some time. But I replied always with Truth to him and told him I would not allow him to annul (sp) what I knew his past feelings for me to be, and to annul the memory of our marriage and what it truly was. If he was going to walk away from it and from us - he would do it with Truth...knowing exactly what he was walking away from. No matter what our fears are....and how out of control we "feel". God is never out of control! I told my husband once, while he was deployed (yes, a believer as well) that he could not run from God forever...he could run from me, throw our marriage away..and walk away from his children, but He could not run from God forever. God will only let you run so far....
God is able. No matter what, keep that in mind. Time in the desert could be just what he needed...but it could also be a playground for Nonsense. Keep praying for his life to get back on track. Pray with all that you can AGAINST his relationship with the OW.

thank you ironman, your posts are just what I need right now. I will pray, continue to pray AGAINST his relationship with ow. I am feeling a big draw to just throw myself comepletely into God's hands which is what I am doing. back to weekly church, back to bible reading. I have no where left to turn BUT to HIM. I am just scared is all. My wh has changed so much, been so cruel, he has literally whacked right out. I hope 4 months in Iraq is LONG enough! It is short in comparison to what some spend there. What do you mean it can be a "playground"??? I know when he went for training in texas last year for 4 months it was, he was out every weekend and I have the hotel bills to prove the ONS he had there. He just went crazy there.... mlhb

mlhb,

I just don't want you to be in the dark about the oppotunities to cheat or to continue to cheat if he wants to. I too spent 4 years in the Marine Corps....and know what is out there. My husband was open with me enough to say if you wanted to....cheating while in Iraq is VERY possible and they seem to carry the same "song" as in Vegas. What happens here, stays here. It doesn't however have to be that way.

Onto getting our eyes on our God....I would love to share some of the very scriptures that God showed me while I sat, so alone all of those months.....if you wnat to move to personal email, just let me know. I'm open to that as well. I'll check back in with you tomorrow.

Ironman, my email is mboyea2@yahoo.com
email me anytime.
It is sad to say this but I almost wish wh would cheat with someone over there just to show ow that she is not really all that special or all that different from me. she thinks he would NEVER cheat on her. well, I thought the same thing, even in our worst of times I never thought he would. In texas for training he was talking non stop to ow on the phone for the first 2 months and having ons at the same time. He would hang with ow last fall, and go to the bar a sleep with women from there. But since he has left here in july and started back up with her I do not believe he has "cheated" on her (although he said to me that ow thinks she knows everything about him but does not) but the fact he has not "cheated" on her yet does hurt me. Its like she is more special than I am or something. That he feels he doesn't need to cheat on her or that he is "committed" to her and wouldn't do that to her. That is something that does not help my self esteem much. But in the first few years of our relationship he did not cheat on me either. mlhb

mlhb. What is your Plan?

DO you want a divorce or do you want a marriage?
MB is a road map.

HAve you done Plan A?
FOr how long?
Who have you exposed to? WS command? HIs family. OW family? Her place of employment? YOur church? Her church?

Your WS is in the military. Exposure is the most difficult thing to do. BUt it MUST happen.

ANd I do sympathize. My STBXH is in the military as well.

And if you do follow MB principles, you do understand that total honesty is required? So your EA/PA will have to be revealed as well. No M cannot survive without honesty.
It will come back to haunt you. Perhaps more experienced WS or BS can help you with that.

YOu will find lots of help here. PLEASE read all the articles. and the main website. There is tons of information that will help you prepare for this battle.

If that is the road you decide on.

fighting, I honestly do not know what I want. I want a companion, a good loving husband, a good loving father and that may never be my wh. I have done Plan A but stopped (not on working on myself but on trying to win him back persay) when I found out exactly how many A's he has had and when he went back to ow when he moved out.

I have been dealing with all of this since July. Wh is part time military. I have exposed everywhere including to military. They were not much help because he his part time. I know they had a talk with him but that was about it.

Right now I do not know where I am at. But thank you for responding. mlhb