Access to his truck is one. Details of the A is another.

access to truck - ok.

nothing else?

and did YOU mail the letter?

I wanted to be sure before I posted anything. I think you can understand that. I feel good but cautious. I have been hurt so much by all of this. I see a changed man in front of me and I am thankful to God for that. I see a lot of work ahead of us to heal from this and have a better M than we did before. BTW, just wanted you to know we spent some RC time on Saturday afternoon. It was just playing a game together but it was nice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am worried about the OW and OC stuff but as long as he and I are on the same page and working together I believe it can be done.

Thanks as always for your friendship and concern.

Did you know I think you are great BR? The truck is where he hid all his secrets so that was really big. The letter will be finished tonight and I am mailing it yes.

I am open to suggestions on building the trust btw.

No TT, he did not. He signed the BC at birth.

the point is dear....its not YOUR job to be open to suggestions.

Its his job to make the plan and carry it out.

If you do the work for him, you can kiss real recovery goodbye.

Has he stopped all the weekend work he was doing?

3 cheers! Anything I could say would be redundant, but I'm happy for you.

I am trying to keep my fingerprints off of this. He wrote the letter all on his own and it is better than I ever could have done.

No, still working Saturdays though he came early this past weekend due to rain. He is talking about giving up Saturday work and getting caught up with the stuff needed around our home.

CC, RT and neak..thanks for the good wishes!

Is he saying he will do whatever it takes to save the marriage?

Susan, he looked me dead in the eye and said he is ready to do the work to save our marriage.

hmmmmm ~ I'm not very convinced FF.

It's ok BR, tell me what your gut is saying.

I think that this is a man who is VERY comfortable with 2 wives.

One wife (YOU) is walking out and he believes it.

Now he is very unhappy and uncomfortable.

He's going to do JUST ENOUGH to get walking out you to come back to where he is comfortable.

I'd be happier to hear that he had a list of things he was already doing beside access to truck (stuff is easily moved) and a letter that hasn't even been sent.

I want to hear the ACTIONS he has taken on his own with no prodding from you...

rather than

how he looks dead on at you and what he says.

A man in his position ready to work on the marriage would have a plan. In his case, a lengthy plan.

I'm very cautious. I'm not convinced.

FF - it must be awful hearing such scepticism from so many here but it is only because people care. You have poured your heart out here and shared your pain and all of us are just nervous that you might get trodden on again.

Personally, I think you are incredibly strong and because of your own past, you have been so forgiving with your WH. You know that you have changed and want to believe he is capable of the same. I truly hope he doesn't disappoint you but you do know that nobody here will turn around and say "I told you so". We would love a happy ending.

As regards OC, I strongly believe paternity should be proven before your own children become involved. He has no way of knowing whether OW was sleeping only with him at the time of conception. Just as he was living a double life, it is possible that she was too. Of course, if the baby is his image, then perhaps it's not necessary.

And access to the truck is great but I hope that includes access to his cellphone. If you ever find the 'call history' deleted, then you know he has something to hide. Also, check the mileage on the truck. Would it tend to be consistent.

Thinking of you and hoping for the best, you idiot! TT

{{tt}}}Thank you. I needed that this morning. I have the NC letter ready to go in the mail. I have full access to his cell phone records via the internet so no worries there. He told her in the letter to only contact our home in the evenings if she needs something for OC. He also told her all correspondance needs to be directed to me. It is ok that people are skeptical. I am too but yes due to my past I am very forgiving. If he is lying this time he deserves an Oscar. He has been a bit angry and withdrawn the past couple days. I know writing the letter is painful for him and I am sure he is in withdrawl.

FF,

Has he read any articles on this site about withdrawal?

Just in case he hasn't...

Suzet's Quick Start Guide on Withdrawal for FWS's and BS's