smooches to you, froz <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We went on a dinner date last night. We had fun! Reminiscing about our childhoods and the changes in the town we grew up in. (we still live there)

I am taking the advice to calm down and prepare for a marathon instead of a sprint. Thanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

dates are goooood

well done!

Yes, well done.

I'm not sure where we (as a society) got the idea that we have to go the the opera or something to call it a date. If you keep talking, it will make a big difference. That's how you (we) connect. It's how you go from wondering if you have anything in common any more, to being deeply in love, and knowing you have a connection that will endure.

Yes, good job. I think it was back in Sept we talked about dates, and he wasn't interrested enough to go with you.

Pep has been where you are, and made the recovery. She knows how it goes.

I have not been as far down as either of you, but we had to do the same recovery things as you will be doing to get to where we are. It is worth the effort. I would guess there was a time when Pep took her head in her hands, and thought "how did we ever mess things up so badly."

I think she looks back these days, and understands how she got to the good place she is at now, and expects it can last. I think the same for my W and I. It just keeps getting better and better - and we know why, and we keep doing the things that make it work.

The first few years were by far the most difficult. If you get discouraged, keep posting.

SS

Thanks, SS. I do remember just a few months ago him not wanting to date. Yesterday I told him we got an unexpected babysitter would he like to go out? He said Yes! right away. Good sign. We connected. We laughed.

I know alot about recovery, that's true. But I never had to deal with many issues FF is facing, so I am clueless in that regard.

Here's recovery in a nutshell --- old behaviors are verboten. HaHa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ... and some of my old behaviors were cling-ons --- stuck to my psyche with velcro and very resistant to being peeled away HaHa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's like giving birth to yourself --- pushing is involved --- plus pain --- plus sweating and swearing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

and then some crying and laughing through tears too

try and have something fun to look forward to every day

FF --- how did you get through your son's illness? What resources did you pull from? Go there --- and use those resources again. You are very strong in certain areas, take advantage of that. Sometimes, being strong means allowing someone else to drive for awhile <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I started out praying and trusting God. I took him to every therapy I could religiously working with him to help him recover. I cried. I went to counseling for my grief. I turned to other parents in similar situations for understanding and support. I eventually gave him over to God knowing that if he is not healed in this life time he will be in the next. Finally, I just fully embraced who my son is NOW and let go of who he used to be. I love him with everything I have.