Could you clarify something for me, please?

On Hurtinginokla's thread (I think!) you said:

"Just some more time...maybe not tomorrow or the next day...but he will be back. For better or worse, your WH is just the 'type' to come back.

It is all about the balance of comfort/discomfort with him.

Just a matter of time now."

I know there's a danger when you start talking about types, and I'm not going to hang all my hopes on this or start checking things off the type list, but I'm really interested in what "the type to come back" might be.

Hmm?

Thanks.

*bump*

RT:

I would be more than happy to give you my thoughts on this, but in the interest of board harmony and support I would rather do it by email.

Please drop me an email (link below), and I will respond in kind.

Lemonman

Lemon,

Now you have my curiousity up with this....

I would like to know that myself.......

One thing for sure his words and actions of the last week or so sure doesn't seem that way though.....

Hurting

Hey Okie:

Nothing new or earth shattering. You know very well my view on this and in regards to my opinion that the chances your WH comes back to your marriage are extremely high. I know we have discussed this on your thread. I didn't want to rediscuss it here, so I am gonna do it privately wity RT.

Goodluck

Lem

Lemonman,

I too am wondering if my husband is the type to come back- dont want to pester you but am curious to know why some return and some dont.

Miffy1

Fair enough Lem ......

You know me, always looking for rhyme and reason for something insane.....

Then again the old saying curiousity killed the cat comes to mind.... Time to stop being curious and just move ahead.... Easier said than done though.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

OK Lem, done. Check your Inbox.

And thanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I just got home.

I will review the email and send you a response sometime later tonight.

Take care

Lem

No woz, thanks for your time, I appreciate it.

RT:

You have mail. Please pardon the rather long winded email.

Best of luck,

Lemonman

Thanks, just reading now. Long winded is fine! Rather that, than unanswered questions.

Lemon.....ROFLMAO, you controversial thing you!!! You know I love you.

I can relate to hanging every bit of hope on "There's a *type* that will come back?" But I know you well enough to know that you're not saying that's a good thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Had to pop in when I saw you were being consulted, nothing I like better than a good LM thread <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-Caren

Caren:

Greetings.

Me controversial.....NOT anymore... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. I am off public domain and have went to Sirius, thus no more controversy......seems to be a "good fit" for me and the board in general. Emailing my opinions (in private) to those that actively seek it out is something that seems to be working now.

I wanted to say that I am extremely proud of you for garnering the strength to make the move and remove yourself from the soul shattering dysfunction that your former living situation was harboring.

I know deep down inside what strength that took for you. I understand the pain that facing that realization was for you. That was a big step in your life. The significance is not lost on me.

I don't necessarily know if your marriage will ever recover, but you are well on your way to "recovering" yourself. You can't have one without the other, so you can look at it that you are half way there anyway.

When I read your update...I silently thought, "well I'll be damne#, you go girl"..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Goodluck

Lem

Lem, didn't know if you had seen this mber is seriously ill

Awww thanks Lemon, that means a lot to me, you have no idea.

I lost *Me* for quite a while there.

You know, one phrase you said stuck with me....you told me that I'd been surviving on the crumbs my husband had been throwing me when I deserved the 7 course meal. I guess I finally got hungry enough.

Thanks so much for everything you've ever said to me Lemon, I needed every bit of it.

God Bless,

-Caren

FF:

Yes, I saw it, and truthfully, I am very upset about it, and have not wanted to write anything about it. I am in denial of it right now.

I remember very clearly many a long night spent responding to Michael in the throes of his desperation.

Micheal made me want to be a better man. Reading this news is affecting me (yes, I know...selfish <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />). I know I have to write something to that post. Right now though, I am irrationally mad at God, and I have to reconcile that before I post something.

Thanks for asking me about this nonetheless.

Lem

Since this is the "Ask Lemonman a Question" post, here goes...

A condition that I have is causing me to slowly lose my sight (left eye gone already) and therefore, I am in my retina doctor's office far too often. Because of my frequent visits, we've gotten to know each other quite well. (Jokes that I make him use his education and adds spice to his day...every doctor I see disagrees with the last on what is wrong.)

Why we know this about each other I can't remember, both he and I have gone through marriage disasters and compare notes and share woes (about the attorneys-not the spouses.) I have suspected his wife of having another but do not have the courage to broach that subject-obviously.

During our last visit, he shared that his divorce settlement was quickly approaching. He told me that his soon to be ex-wife made the statement that once the divorce was final, women would be on him like flies on poop. (Sorry-a quote) I laughed, agreed and then we discussed what age group would be suit him.

Now here's the question. I have thought about you and he in the same situation. He can't wait for the whole thing to be over and hit the runway. Now Lemonman...I'm sure those same flies are around you too...so why are you here when you could be out there with the cream of the crop?

You were the first one I thought of when I read it. I know he is special to you. Mike is truly an inspiration.

JPH:

Interesting question. I like it.

Well, I am dating currently , the "crop" has not risen to the top yet. I am going to come right out and admit that I am in a "selfish" phase of my life. I kind of like where I am in life now. I work alot (enjoyably), I train and workout alot, and I am taking a language course at the local university. A "real" relationship has not come and hit me and bowled me over yet.

Now, I will be fortright and admit that I have not actively sought out that relationship. You'll be happy to know that there have been many flies circling their way around...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />BUT, it doesn't fancy me now. Am I setting my standards too high? Am I unrealistic in what I desire in a future partner? Would I rather collect "high bids and never sell the item"....Maybe....? dunno, I am working through that now. Ironically this board has helped me do that.

I have not actively been seeking a relationship out. What I think I should be doing is not what I want to do. I guess I am currently getting my "emotional needs" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />met by cutting open peoples stomachs, running on a treadmill for 1 hour and 30 minutes every morning, and learning to say "Me llamo Lemonman, Y usted?"......I guess I am weird. I can live with that.

Many people have remarked to me that they would love to have my life (and I agree with them <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />)...but the grass isn't always greener..I have my struggles like anyone else. Maybe I'll snare a fly sooner or later.....for now, I'k ok with where things are.

What do you think?

Lem