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Well the V day is coming up in a few weeks and was wondering what the Plan A er's plans are?...
how about the 180 er's?
Me 33; W 32; kids 0; no known A
date:1996; M:1998
sep 8/04;D filed 9/04 by W;not finalized
MC 1/05-4/05
Sept 2005 n/c by W she moved 5 hrs away and wants me to "move on". D still pending
Talk w/ Jen C 11/27-send Plan A emails
my summary
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stu....
What are you thinking of doing????
I have signed up to volunteer that day.
Daisy
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Thank God my wh is in Iraq, don't have to deal with thinking he would be spending it with ow... mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Joined: Nov 2005
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mlhb
That must be such a relief.
Daisy,
I don't know what or if I should do anything...
Last year when we were going through counseling, talking about reconciliation, I went on a pre-planned trip out of town to visit my parents for 2 wks which spanned V-day. (No excuses from me on that dumb move) She went bullistic; wouldn't talk to me for 1 1/2 month. This year, in my predicament, I don't know if I should try to do anything. To not do anything or even call would be LB I think. But I think the 180 thing to do is to not even call.
Me 33; W 32; kids 0; no known A
date:1996; M:1998
sep 8/04;D filed 9/04 by W;not finalized
MC 1/05-4/05
Sept 2005 n/c by W she moved 5 hrs away and wants me to "move on". D still pending
Talk w/ Jen C 11/27-send Plan A emails
my summary
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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Ugh Valentines Day......I don't even want to think about it....why don't we call it what it really is VD...LMAO
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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I don't know what or if I should do anything...
Last year when we were going through counseling, talking about reconciliation, I went on a pre-planned trip out of town to visit my parents for 2 wks which spanned V-day. (No excuses from me on that dumb move) She went bullistic; wouldn't talk to me for 1 1/2 month. This year, in my predicament, I don't know if I should try to do anything. To not do anything or even call would be LB I think. But I think the 180 thing to do is to not even call. Stu: My friend and colleague. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> My advice to you would be to go to work that day, LIVE your life that day.....hold the door open for an elderly lady, take a little extra time with Mrs Smith who has 75 more questions regarding her blood pressured medications, buy a large bag of dog food and drop it in the SPCA bin at the grocery store. Go to the March of dimes web site and make a 100.00 donation. I don't think it matters one way or the other that you are in Plan A with your wife. You have to live, you have to breath, and if you approach "THAT DAY" like any other, and live your life to the fullest, You'll survive. We all do. Don't give this day more power and more recognition than it deserves. Besides, you'll save $5.75 for the card your WW will not even remember anyway. Goodluck, Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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We have a Valentine's Day baby. She turns 5 that day. I will always have something to celebrate. The affair began when she was 7 weeks old exactly, on a day I remember well, when I spoke with our pediatrician for about 20 minutes about her colic. The affair was exposed when she was 15 monhts old. Her colic ended when she was 4 months old, and she was just the best baby.
Cherished
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Lem, Besides, you'll save $5.75 for the card your WW will not even remember anyway. I agree! LOL. It is a silly holiday. It kind of reminds me New Years. If you paticipate, you have all these expectations, but it is just a day, like any other, and it falls short of your expectations. Then if you do not participate, you feel like you are missing something and you feel unfulfilled. VD, in that way is even worse, because if you don't have someone, or are going through what we are, then you feel that the whole day is a "in your face" day. But like lem said, don't give the day any more power. You are doing such wonderful things for your wife now! She is not recognizing it. Do what you would do any other day. If you don't plan to send an email the day before VD, or the day after VD, then I really don't see why you would do it on VD. Just my thoughts. Daisy
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Lucky for me, WH and I never really considered Valentine's Day to be particularly special, just one of those made-up holidays, and why shouldn't you show your love every day? That was our philosophy anyway. I don't think we ever really went out on Feb. 14 much, b/c all the restaurants are always so crowded. We would usually go on the day before or day after. Never really gave each other expensive gifts, either. Usually just cards and candy. We had some pretty memorable ones before we got married, though.
The best was when we were in college. He was an RA in our co-ed dorm one year. He got a master key and snuck into my room. Filled it full of balloons and streamers to surprise me when I came back from class. He even tried to mold white chocolate hearts using somebody's mom's candy mold. They turned out terrible and the mold was ruined. That was probably my favorite out of 11 years.
(Formerly SadMommy05)
BS, 29 (me)
XH, 27
DD, 1
M, 2001 high school sweethearts
OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand"
WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005
I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 
XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
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I don't particularly put too much into Vday either but she does that's why I even feel this conflict. I guess that helps make up my mind. Her B-day is about 10days after that so I'll just show a little gesture for that day but ignore the Vday.
Me 33; W 32; kids 0; no known A
date:1996; M:1998
sep 8/04;D filed 9/04 by W;not finalized
MC 1/05-4/05
Sept 2005 n/c by W she moved 5 hrs away and wants me to "move on". D still pending
Talk w/ Jen C 11/27-send Plan A emails
my summary
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 615
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Our Valentine's Day baby's first birthday will occupy all of my time this year. Perfect excuse for me to avoid the day's *other* celebrations. I do not remember previous VDay's well. Last year H was more excited about FOW getting home from a trip (to see her H, go figure) than he was about the new daughter we met that day! I really would rather not think about the whole gushy "love" thing anyway. Makes me queasy. I guess I'm just one more cynic who has given up on romance. I'm glad I live in Europe and the military doesn't play commercials on TV. All the sentimental garbage would be a little more than I could handle.
Birthday cake, anyone??
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My heart goes out to you folks in the PlanA/B/180degree stage. I think Lemonman had great advice.
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