Has anyone gone to one of these "weekend to remember" retreats?
I am a recovering BS and am looking to mend my relationship with my FWS. Building trust has been very difficult for me.
Thanks for any comments on this.

S28

S28 - Hi!

Look at Faithful Follower's tooth fairy post. It will help you understand the dynamics of recovery. Key word - dynamics.

Trust takes years to build. And it is not your responsibility to have more trust. It is your spouse's responsibility to EARN trust.

Just like a job - you can work long and hard hours and earn more quickly - or you can work part time and earn slowly.

Your FWS has the complete responsibility to build your trust. Talk openly and frankly about what you want - to trust, and how there is only one way for that to develop. If your FWS will come here, he/she can get advice on the ways build trust, however it is all found in the Harley book Surving An Affair.

If you have not read that - it is required reading.

Let us know more details, and what books you have read to help the recovery.

Keep bringing your concerns here. There are a lot of wise folks here.

far

I have been. They are very good and Christian based. A couple of us wives went with the intention of "fixing" our husbands, however we are the ones who got the 2x4's and started looking at ourselves as wives and what are responsibilities were as a Christian wife.

However I must say it has also had an my h. I have seen many changes in him but they did not come because of us going to the conference. They came because he was at a point in his life that he was able to hear what was being said. They do use mainly male speakers which is wonderful for the guys because they connect with the guys.

I would encourage you to go, however go with no expectations of what changes you would like to happen with your husband. Also us wives felt the changes immediately, it seemed to take longer for the guys. Go though it is a wonderful weekend.

I am really looking for a less christian based retreat.
I am christian but do not want the conservative christian valves preached(for lack of better word)to us. I consider my wife as equal to me. I don't believe in wifely duties, we share in all the duties and caring for one another.

me-H
married 17yrs
S28