Well he is suppose to be moving out this weekend and I can't stop crying...There hsa been so much tension in my home its a mess How can a man who proclaimed to love you just walk around the house never talking or looking at you with a soft heart ..Somebody please talk to me

Angela,
I can't offer much advise, but I can say that I know the feelings that you are having. My WW moved out on 1/7/05. It seemed to me that we were doing great only 6 months ago, then she got involved with OM and it all fell apart. It is odd to me also that someone who has claimed to be totally in love with you can suddenly be so cold and heartless.

My WW has pretty much gone about the business of moving out and getting a divorce without any apparent emotions at all. Just like another day at the office. I am no longer communicating with her unless it is absolutely necessary.

I guess we just have to take it minute at a time for awhile and try to see something bright in the future. I do know that trying to understand their actions will drive us crazy. There is no understanding insanity. Let's pray for each other and do the best we can.

Tired41

My heart goes out to you. I cry all of the time. Today I have to go see an attorney since H filed divorce papers last week. I'm afraid I'll cry through the whole meeting!

The cold demeanor is how they deal with their hurt. I think people who are emotionally detached are able to do this very easily. This is one of the reasons our marriage didn't work out...he was very detached and not "present" for the little bit of time we had together. I felt lonely then....and of course I feel lonely now.

Hang in there - WE WILL do this. As I said to my parents and I keep repeating back to myself...this experience will not deter me from having a bright and happy future. I know that in my future I will have a loving companion.

I don't know when the crying stops. It has been two years and almost two years since I last saw him.

You will have different cries, the angry cry, the lonely cry, the betrayal cry, how could you cry and so on.

I cried so much when he walked out the door, I never thought I will be able to stop. All I could do is put myself together go to work. That's all I did.

As soon as I come home, back in to bed and cry. I didn't eat or sleep.

Its been two years and people say that is the breaking point where you move on. How can you trust again, I had no clue he was having an affair or suspected he was. He kept telling me he was the perfect husband up to the A, oh, that's comforting me.

I don't know how you can hurt a person who have loved you and you have loved? It seems to me My WxH still wants to hurt me and I don't understand it. I gave into all the request and he still backstabbed me.

Keep your chin up , you will be able to fuction but it will take some time. Work on yourself, and don't let him see you this vulnerable. Let him see the strong person you are. It is more attractive to him than a desperate housewife.

are you still there ? ... how are you doing. Sad is one of the normal stage of greive. Getting stuck there is not.

Post something, we are here for you.

-rh-

You will move on and you will be better. if you cant move on then you need to get some help. it is normal, but shouldn't last forever. You will be able to enjoy life again.

As a previous poster said, there will different kinds of cries along the way. I cried so much the first few months, but now my cries are all anger cries. I am angry cuz I am left to pick up all the pieces XH left behind.

What helps me is I think of how he acted the past two years. The emotional abuse, the affair the baby, the hurt. That gets me thru the bad times. Then I think of how great my life is now without him in it. It hurts, but it does get better!

Crying is a step toward healing. You are processing your grief and feeling your emotions and these really are good things.

If you feel like you can't cope, see your doctor for signs of situational depression. AD's may help you through this time.

I really miss the weight loss from that time period.
I hope you are eating and taking care of yourself.

Angela,

I am a man and am "supposed" to be strong... I cried alone ALL the time. And you know what? Tears lubricate the soul... Go ahead and cry...

As for what he is doing - you are not alone.

Keith

Sorry to disappear He moved out on Saturday into his apartment.. So I cleaned up on Sunday and reorganized things. I have officially stopped crying .. In fact after he left it felt as if an elephant had been lifted off of my shoulders.. maybe I was trying to hard to keep my marriage and not realizing that it wasn't worth saving.. He has managed to find a reason to call me everyday since. he left ..I assume that htis is because I am no longer crying and waiting but am trying to move on... I luv this man .don't get me wrong... But I also tired everything to get him to stay... I love you guys for being so helpful and supportive of me I just hope that I can be of some help to one of you.. Just remember that sometimes our plans for our life are not Gods plans...

Yes...go to "Plan C"-CHRIST!

Hang in there, Angela, it'll get better! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

It could be guilt too...Some spouses do have remorse for their actions and that's probably why he's calling. He's feeling like a heel..


After many days, weeks, months and now years of crying and begging God to bring my WH to his senses and make him see the error of his adulterious ways - I believe that God is not answering my prayings for a reason - I don't know the reason and it doesn't matter. Maybe there is a better life for me down the road and maybe not - but, I will find out, heck, it can't get any worse....

HUGS

DO YOU JOURNAL? I HAVE STARTED TO AS A WAY TO WORK THROUGH MY OWN FEELINGS OF OVERWHELMING SADNESS,DESPAIR & HOPELESSNESS. ALSO I HAVE RECENTLY RETURNED TO EXERCISING...THOUGH I DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT...RIDING MY BIKE AND WALKING SEEMS TO ELATE MY MOOD....WHEN I CAN FORCE MYSELF OUT TO DO IT.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOMEONE JUST TO SHARE WITH...IT WOULD DO ME SOME GOOD TOO!!

(((((((((((((SOMETIMES A HUG IS ALL WE NEED))))))))))))))))

You wonder where all the tears come from. I was never a crier myself but since about 2 years ago when my X betrayed me, I can hardly hold back tears for the simplest of things now. It gets less and less but then some days you may get a relapse..........let it flow I guess.

I'm sorry for your pain Angela.

My H just moved out today, and is coming to get the rest of his stuff on Saturday... I know what you mean about the way your H looks at you. Mine has been doing the same. At least I won't have to see all the resentment in his eyes anymore.

If I knew an easier way to go through this whole stage, i'd share it with you and anyone else whos going throught the same. But in this case, only time will heal.

Hugs.

Well I filed for divorce yesterday.. I am setting him and myself free of all this drama.. He still continously calls and asks for sex.. Last night when he called and posed this question I asked him Why he hasn't called the other women and asked her.. He of course claims that he has left her alone ... This morning he called and acused me of calling his job and telling them to drug test him... I have also been accused of following him... Friday night I had a little get together.. He calls on Monday and tells me everyone that was there... He wanted out of this marriage Why will he not leave me alone