You? Be patient?

I dare you!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

WAT
-----------------
Respect for truth comes close to being the basis for all morality.

HA HA HA...THAT'S TOO GOOD. I actually laughed out loud for the first time today.

Thanks WAT

Okay, saw the WW yesterday for a little while at DD basketball game. We barley spoke (her choice, but I didn't pursue or pressue like usual). She is extremely mad and angry from the conversation earlier in the week I suppose. That plus she actually has responsibilities this weekend of tending to the children all weekend without my help. This is certainly not her favorite thing to do as it requires her to take her eyes off herself for a while. Had lunch with DS and DD and my sister, BIL and niece. DD didn't want to go home and stay with her mother. I rented her some movies to watch and told her she must go.

This week "may" be a big week in our future. We will see. There is the definite that I will be talking with OMW. I hope that she chooses to contact my WW just as I contacted her WW and give her a piece of her mind. I have already sent all paperwork and spoken with HR at hospital and been assured of an investigation. This could hopefully end in terminations for both for having an EA/PA on company grounds on company time and putting the reputaion of the hospital at risk along with patients that may have needed service. I am moving back into our home on tomorrow night (she will be at work out of town) and plan to stay for good. I am sending a letter to her parents asking them to see the truth and call their daughter to accountability or at least take a neutral position while I try and save our M.
Heck, she may hire a lawyer and go file irreconcilable differences (I don't have to concur in MS).

If all of this comes off the anger my WW displayed at the basketball game will look like a boat in the middle of the Atlantic ocean compared to the anger that will come forth if all of this happens. I can only hope that this will speed her trip towards rock bottom. I take no pride in any of this but only am willing to do those things necessary to help her not destroy herself and to save our M and protect our children.

PRAY FOR ME PLEASE.

Hang in there, guy. It will get rough but sometimes there is no way around the tough things one must do. You're taking control of your life back and that's always a plus. I'm praying there are no drugs involved. An addiction to drugs changes every dynamic. God bless and keep you and your children safe in this critical time.

........not such a bad thing - if it's less than 25 degrees N.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
WAT

HAP,

Thanks for posting on my thread. I have been reading yours as well. Just wanted to say good luck with your exposure tomorrow. I am glad to see that WAT is posting to you. He has been a tremendous help to me. Lots of good advice in this forum., It scares me to think where I'd be without it.

Okay, that conversation I had with the WW last week calling her out as to who she has become either mad her madder than I originally thought of something else has happened in the meantime.

Conversation from Monday night as WW was at work out of town

Me: Hello
WW: I called to speak to DD
Me: Not a problem
DD and WW talk for about 1 minute and DD hands the phone back to me and I hang it up

Tuesday night:

Me: Hello
WW: May I speak to DD
Me: Yes, you may
DD and WW talk for a few minutes, hands me the phone and I hang it up

DD calls WW back upset that she will not speak to me on phone. DD hands me the phone and the following conversation takes place

WW: Why are you telling her that I haven't spoken to you in over a week
Me: I told DD nothing
WW: Well when I am there she is fine and when you are there she is always upset (I asked DD about this this morning, she said she is upset when WW is there but she doesn't feel that she can talk to her)
Me: Believe whatever you want to believe, I hang up

This anger is over the top for the conversation from last week so I wonder if something else has happened (i.e. - OM broke up with her, she talked to attorney and he didn't give her good news, she got wind of the investigation at the hospital over all of this, OMW has somehow found out before my letter to her (I sent her the letter yesterday informing her of everything) or something else) It just seems that life for her is not real good right now.

Wait till I move back into the home full time tonight (she really didn't believe me when I told her I was moving back in full time), the anger may go off the charts. I intend to say the following "WW, wherever my kids are that is where I intend to be". After that I don't intend to say another word unless spoken to in a respectful manner.

Please pray for that WW and OM gets "justice" at work once the investigation is completed, that OMW takes it to OM, and that the little A ends once and for all. WW will need to hit rock bottom to have a chance of coming out of the fog.

thanks all.

Why are you not talking to her on the phone?

WAT,

I would be glad to talk with her on the phone. She simply doesn't want to speak with me.

What would happen if when DD hands you the phone back, you attempt to speak with her - "Hi, how are you?"

If she then ends the conversation, fine. At least you tried. But DO NOT submit to her control by assuming she won't talk to you. Let HER make that decision. Let HER hang up.

You're still in Plan A. Do it! Take every opportunity to show the real you.

WAT

Great suggestion WAT. Sometimes the anger just takes over and I can't do what I would like to do (plan A). I will control myself better and do the right thing in the future. If she talks, great and if not I still did the right thing, by planting small seeds.

Thanks for your good judgement.

What do you think about my approach/wording to what will likely be a lot of nasty comments and threats tonight when I show up at the home?

"Hi Honey!! I'm HOME!"

Ok seriously, you are right to expect vile spew from her.

You HAVE to stay calm and cool. Be HAPPY to be home.

When she starts the spew, repeat your mantra: "I want to keep our family together and rebuild our marriage. This is the best thing for all concerned. We cannot do this if we're separated."

If she lights off on the exposure, same thing: "I want to keep our family together and rebuild our marriage. Everything I have done and am doing is intended to accomplish that."

Don't let her suck you into an argument. If she goes off on how you've ruined everything, how this is going to be harmful to DD, that you're the cause of world hunger, etc. answer calmly and softly, "I understand your concern."

Let her rant.

Let her stew.

Let her spew.

"I understand your concern."

Got it?

If she asks you to leave, just say, "That isn't helpful for our family."

If she threatens to leave with your daughter, "DD needs to stay in the family home." If she actually attempts to leave with DD, do not stop her, just express your disagreement and ask where she's going. Later you get legal assistance.

WAT

Those are great responses WAT. Now I have to memorize them for tonight.

I will not participate in her anger fest.

hap, how are you doing?