I spent the weekend with my ex, we've been separated a year. I went away Monday feeling like a fool, angry and don't know how to analyze this. People say I'm being manipulated and am letting him get away with it... you know how love is, you don't want to think you are used by someone you married, lived with, loved - although I don't think this was ever real love as I married a very selfish man.

Since separating after some pushing/shoving last Dec, he only drove here where I moved five hours away once

He's refused to give me any child support, saying since I've moved it's my problem and since we are still married i don't get it - true under the laws of this state

He was fired from two jobs last year and finally took a job in another state as president of a bank - although lesser jobs were available here so he could see his son more (but he's either assuming I'll follow as I did before or we'll get back together)

I can understand no help for his child the two months he had no job but the rest of the year? Finally I filed for a divorce and served him in late Nov over this issue, he mailed a lame check, wrote another when I exploded at him this weekend as he had a brand new car in the garage next to his new suv - broke, right!

Anyways he cried on the phone, begged me to stop the divorce, put it on hold. He was broke he said, couldn't afford the attorney, wished we could work it out, wanted me back or to work the divorce out ourselves. I actually did it, two weeks ago faxed his attorney and mine to put the divorce on hold 60 days as we tried to figure this out

Over the weekend he didn't even bring up or discuss any issues, was just busying playing great dad giving his boy Christmas toys, tons of them. He didn't ask me any questions, nothing. But he had the realtor rush over to get me to sign papers to sell the house. I signed them and even post dated them so he could relist the house in early Feb.

The realtor tried to get me to sign over power of attorney to my husband on anything related to the sale of the house, knowing we are now in different states, she gave it to me, told me to have it notorized which I won't do of course. The house is worth 500k and he has about $200k in equity, some of which will come from it's increase in value, plus the sale of our last house.

His name only has been on the deeds but we are in a 50-50 state so it doesn't matter, I have a right to half of everything. He has IRA's and other finances I don't know much about as we kept our finances separate but I tried to go through his stuff when I was moving and wrote down companies and amounts for my attorney.

Anyways I just feel so ignorant and used, the new car was the last straw - how could he cry and cry about this divorce, how broke he is and buy the car likely right when I put the divorce on hold. He wasn't supposed to, according to divorce papers you can't sell major assets during a divorce, but after filing if he bought a car I wouldn't get half, he must have known that.

And the house, he got me to sign papers then had such a guilty look on his face afterwards. Does even he have guilt? I made a few comments, was smart a bit and he knew I wasn't a complete fool, but I was, I signed the papers - but not the notorized ones meaning my attorney can still file a deal on the deed to the house and if anyone goes to buy it, it can't finalize until we finish our agreements. I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow about this.

I just feel like an idiot, I left mad on Mon after two days there. I did it for my little boy, but now I'm hurting like ****** all over again. I had hopes he'd wake up and change but it seems like it's all about the house, his cars, his status at his new job - he wasn't interested in even discussing when he'd see his son again, nothing. Although he's told me there'll be no custody battle, he just wants to see his son now and then. When I was leaving during a heated argument he said he tape recorded me, that he'll fight me, make it so I can't divorce him, etc.

I took my boy and left... I left a message on his machine to check his emails two days ago. I emailed that I'll have my attorney draft papers on child support, how much and when it's due each month. If he read this of course he won't sign it will he? But he sure as heck wants me to let him sell the house, and as a friend claims, then tie the money and equity up as quickly as he can in a house in another state so I get nothing... is that fair?

I didn't want to fight him, what choice do I have. I'm self employed, dont' make near as much as him, I'm struggling a bit with no child support or help and he's out buying new cars and planning to pay cash for a house in a cheaper small town... ah, I just wish this would end. How do I get out quickly without this going on forever, but get what I deserve?

It is hard to deal with ex's, too much emotion and drama. Dv is a legal matter ... best left to the professional. Don't let your emotion gett'n way and protect yourself, specially with his threat and so on.

Have you consider to have NC or plan B ?.

-rh-

What is a NC?

NC is no contact. Please read and learn about MB, it is good for your recovery.

Basic Concept
General Welcome for All New Builders
Acronyms, Smilies, UBB Codes

-rh-

Oh, I've been on this site a ton of times, my old name wouldn't work, trying to figure out my marriage. I'm aware of most, but not the divorce terms. Plan A, Plan B, I tried it all. Read a ton of books. Tried to fix a marriage that appears I couldn't fix. Problem is I know a lot and have trouble applying what I know to real life... I didn't want my marriage to end but I can't seem to figure out how to make it different either. I know I did LB's like emotionally exploding at my ex, he was practicing LB's of critical judgments, neither of us found better ways to relate to one another. A baby, a move, a death of my father, a job my ex hated, bills, stress all added to our final blow up and separation last December. I dont' see how to do NC, what you call no contact if you have a child together. I've tried to get him to email me back and forth so we wont' fight about the divorce issues, he refuses to do that. He's said that he's tape recorded our conversations now so obviously I have to do NC if that's the case... I just can't believe so called love can be reduced to such a mess. I tried and tried to find a good counselor, even people on the emotional part of this site thought most of the ones I ran across were bogus, I think maybe we could have gotten help, I don't know. My husband did a lot of talking, and not a lot of action. Now it's just a fight over money and what to split up I guess. Through attorneys as we can't seem to talk to each other. I don't think I can do NC but I can keep conversations on the phone very short and if they aren't about our child, almost nil at all if that's what you mean. I don't want him alone with my boy, so I have no clue how to do that other then to be there, supervise and keep conversation to almost nothing between us while he's with his child, which likely wont' be but every two months if that since he left the state for a new job. I wish he'd just email, guess he doesn't want that on record? I'm just beat...

Yes, you could do NC or at least to the minimum.
I have 2 DD and they are older than yours. I only spoke to my exW about 4-5 times last year. She tried to talk other than kid's issues and pour her anger at me ... I cut her out. I have every single details on child custody so that there is no room of confusion or for negotiation at all. You need to get 3rd party to rely message back and forth. Read NC in plan B.

What reason ?

-rh-

horsey2,

Every issue you brought up is what ANY family attorney can and should take care of easily.IF HE/SHE IS GIVEN THE CHANCE.

UNLESS you haven't told him/her about them.

UNLESS you are confused that your proper use of your attorney will "further drive your WH away"

Stop discussing these items with your WH! Demand that your attorney IMMEDIATLY take the steps necessary for your and your sons financial needs.

Quote:I'm self employed, dont' make near as much as him, I'm struggling a bit with no child support or help and he's out buying new cars and planning to pay cash for a house in a cheaper small town... ah, I just wish this would end. How do I get out quickly without this going on forever, but get what I deserve.

According to your post you have been seperated for a YEAR! Why have YOU permitted these economic problems to exist for this long?

Sorry for the harsh tone of this post but any adult, especially in a 50/50 state, should get no sympathy when issues revolve around child support and/or spousal support.If you have a 500k home and he has two new cars in the garage your "woe is me" economic attitude is inappropriate.

Forget all this talk about Plan A/B or NC. Your goal is to spend every waking moment helping your attorney do their job. Once your financial situation has stabilized THEN do what you must in regards to your M.

Now don't waste time here on MB until you complete these tasks that you know that you have been shirking.

Best of luck.

Do not sign the power of attorney...tear the thing up and then shred it. Call the broker for the real estate firm that's listing your property and complain that this realtor and your husband are working to fraud you. (It'll scare the socks off of the broker.) This realtor is either new and stupid or willing to do anything for a listing and is dangerous. This behavior could cost them their license and hefty fines for the brokerage.

Now let your attorney handle all the negotiations. Don't argue or leave any messages that can be used against you.

I've been both a realtor and made mortgage loans. When this house sells the check for net proceeds will be made out to the both of you. Have that company cut a check for half the amount to you after you have looked at all the closing costs and endorsed the check. Don't rely on him to divide the proceeds himself. After you endorse the check, he could deposit the check and if the money suddenly is missing, what can you do. Let the firm doing the closing handle this for you.

Don't sign anything in advance of the closing. If they tell you any of the above is not possible, tell them that these are the conditions that you require for settlement. I've done it more times than I can count.

Banks don't like scandals and if he is the president of a bank, shareholders become antsy if there's bad press. He's hoping you don't realize this. Of course you don't want trouble but know if things get out of control, you do have the upper hand. If his bank is handling the closing of the real estate, make sure your attorney looks over the closing statement. Closing statements are to be prepared at least 24 hours in advance so that proper legal advice can be made. Don't allow them to rush you or make excuses.

If your attorney is not a pit bull and willing to stand up for you, then find another. Remember, don't sign anything else...

JPH

Yup, they are trying to play me as an idiot. My attorney said today how it should work, find out how much he put down on the first house, then out of the two houses he's sold during our marriage, I should get half. Period.

The realtor is a scummy one, I could tell by her look of guilt and my husband's too when she handed the power of attorney agreement to me saying that it's just because my husband's moved out of state that we need to sign this to list the house... she claimed according to my husband that she wouldn't even list the house unless I signed it. I thought it was because my attorney and I could file on the title of the house and put the sale on hold unless an agreement is reached.

My attorney said I could sign the power of attorney release but only if I trust him, otherwise the money will be put into another house in the state he moved to immediately, I'm sure he's already picked out a place that he wants, in fact he knows a seller as there's not much for sale - as a banker, a place that might be repossessed.

Can you tell me though how realtors deal with a divorce? She made it sound like she couldn't even take the listing knowing we might be getting a divorce. She didn't want to waste her ad money and time if it would be tied up at the sale. But I signed the agreement that he could sell the house, why does she want the power of attorney? Why would that matter to her? How can I get her to write a check to both of us? What agreement would that be? It's true in a 50-50 state, I am entitled to half of the equity less the downpayment he put on the first house.

Would I contact the realtor or her broker at this point and how can we get this in writing?

My attorney isn't being a bulldog because I asked him to back off and put the divorce on hold. Then last night I told my husband that we needed to work out the finances and sign at least a separation agreement before we even consider working on the marriage, and if we did he'd go to counseling once a week and quit drinking. He agreed to sign an agreement to pay childcare, plus said he would sign something that said he would put aside maybe $40-50k of the amount from the house after the sale - so if we do divorce the money will be there. The attorney said that would be fine if he'll do it.

I lost my dad this summer, got separated, had a baby and run a business. I just don't want to deal with the stress of a long drawn out court ordeal, like his attorney went on and on about. She's the crook in my eyes, encouraging him to fight. My attorney said there's not much to fight about, he left the state, the custody of the boy is mine with his visation once or twice a month. The money is split 50-50 in this state, and we can find out what the court will do and settle it ourselves.

If he'll sign the legal separation agreements and we can come to terms on the money then there's a waiting period in this state - 6 months, and if I file one day after the separation becomes a divorce as the financial issues are already decided during the separation agreement. There's some things my husband could question about my income as I'm self employed but even the attorney showed me today that if I showed 2-3k more per month it doesn't make a big difference in what he pays in child support since he makes so much. He'll pay $600-800 per month and I"ll agree to lower it to $500 if we can agree to settle on the house and the other assets together.

I just don't want a big fight. My attorney would be a pit bull if I asked him to be, I'm just tired right now. My husband is manipulative and is in a dream world that we'll work this out, he can live in another state, have a wife a kid in theory - and get the best of both worlds, plus the tax write offs. Even the attorney agreed this is the easy way out. I'll think on it over the weekend, but likely I'll proceed with the separation agreement rather then go right to the divorce which is in the process.

But I need to know more about how to deal with the realtor, how to contact her or her broker and what to say. I can do that without an attorney...

Thanks

I didn't sign the agreement to give him power of attorney, but the two realtors were there along with my husband when I signed the typical realtor papers to sell the house. They wanted me to sign and notorize giving him power of attorney, but I SAID I WOULD and then left for a movie as they finished talking.

My husband and I faught before I left for the weekend. He said he tape recorded me and will fight me all the way if I go to divorce him.

Is there anyway even if they tape recorded me saying I'd give him power of attorney that that would be considered a "verbal agreement" and the realtors and him could use that to write the check only to my husband, the proceeds from the house?

If so what can I do about it, how can I make sure the realtors and the broker of the firm is aware that I don't agree to this at all?

Why did the realtors make me post date the agreement to list the house for three weeks? They didn't want to put in on the market until then and wanted me to post date my signature?

I just had very bad vibes about the whole thing. The houses have been in my husband's names and not mine. But in a 50-50 state it doesn't matter. Is my husband playing me for a fool? Now last night he called wanted to of course work it out, he always has, saying some of the money will go to buy me a nice condo in my state and I could go back and forth between states. It's not a bad idea, I work at home. And I'd never move there with my child without a place here in this state, and my attorney said to make sure it's "visits" there only or after six months if I resided there I could never leave with my child back to this state, I'd be stuck with a business in another state, and laws in a nother state would rule over my child and I.

Yikes this is a mess. YOu are right, this has to be worked out before we work on the marriage - and even if we work on the marriage I have to really protect myself in the future with this man.

Sad

Do you know you are being taped ?. If not any junior lawyer could throw this evidence out of court.

Anyway, why you want to keep your boy from him ?

-rh-

When the realtor said she wouldn't list the house unless you signed the POA, she broke several federal laws and could lose her license. Write her broker a letter telling of your experience with her. He/She needs to know this. Send a copy to the local Board of Realtors. You can google them to find their location. i.e. Board of Realtors Seattle Washington or Board of Realtors Smith County Texas. It will definately get their attention and she will know not to mess with you any longer. Board of Realtors don't take kindly to this foolishness. Brokers can be finded sizeable amounts of money for doing business in this manner. Stand your ground and she'll tiptoe around you. She's there to assist you not manipulate.

She doesn't care about anything but getting her commission check at closing...nothing else. She doesn't care if you're getting a divorce or adopting a monkey. It's manipulation.

Much of realtors business is because of divorce. They're used to it and appreciate the business it brings them. Think about it..if it weren't for divorces many people would gladly live out their lives in their homes..no commission there.

The realtor has nothing to do with the check you'll receive at closing. That's up to the closing agent/title attorney. When they contact you about the closing date, tell them how you want the check handled. If you let him walk out with that check to both of you endorsed by you, you could very well kiss that money good-bye. I've seen it happen too often. I even had a man bring in his girlfriend posing as his wife to sell the house.

To find out exactly how much money he put down on previous homes, contact the mortgage company for copies of the Settlement Statement HUD-form. It will in detail prove amounts paid in the purchase and sale. You should have copies of those transactions but he may have possession of them...I suspect. Your attorney could request that he provide these forms as proof.

How about not only having him sign an agreement for the $40-50K to be put aside, have it put in an account that requires both of your signatures for withdrawal. All financial institutions have this capability. That way you're guaranteed the funds and not be told that the money is gone. When it's gone, it's gone. He could hide it and claim he spent it. You can't get blood from a turnip and if he's claiming to be so broke yet buying a SUV then you know he has problems with honesty.

Get the separation agreement to the terms that you're most comfortable. Don't be too accomodating in order to please him. He's counting on this and that's why they tried to pull the Power of Attorney trick. He could sell your home, endorse the check and hide the money. You would be out.

This doesn't need to be a big fight. Simply state your wishes and if he gives you problems, refer him to your attorney. My attorney told me to always use him as a scapegoat when things got sticky. They're pros at handling these situations and are paid handsomely for it. Don't let it stress you out. That's unnecessary.

JPH

THANK YOU. Thank you for your input, I met with my attorney today, but you gave me more information then the attorney. I went to court before years ago with an idiot attorney who had too many cases as they all do in this town, and I learned that I have to know more then I want to know about the law. That was a small case, this is much larger, but I learned a bad lesson in letting an attorney take control of my life.

So I told the attorney I'd work the separation agreement out with him, if not we'll go to court. As for the house I'll find out what he put down on the first house. I don't think my name was on the loan nor do I even know what mortgage company it was through. When I was at the house I didn't get the info on the old house, only the new one. Or would that be in back taxes? I"ll go through the tax packets I took from him, maybe something will be in there. But if my name wasn't on the loan, I won't be able to call the bank up and get that info. And he could lie to me. I simply don't remember and I used to know. He kept control of the house payments, I paid the utilities, trips, car, tv, bought furniture, you name it... I think he thought he was protecting himself from me, as he said many times our first year of marriage.

Now he's trying to get off easy, we know that. I think you are right, the realtor is a crook. I can recognize a liar by their mannerisms, but her and her husband realtor looked guilty as sin and so did my husband during the signing of realtor papers ordeal. I think I will call her broker about it, she didn't need that signed to list the house. She only worried about her own commision, in fact maybe I'll call her direct and threaten to get the house listed with another realtor as well. She deserves that doesn't she? Obviously she wanted her money just as quickly as she could after closing, not for it to be tied up... half the realtors coud give a darn, my mom just went through ****** with her crooked realtor and I advised her to pull the listing and she did, he was a so called Christian from her church and was "helping" my mom after my dad died, sell her second home.

I'm so tired of life being a fight. I want out of this and a separation is the easy way out so long as I let my husband "think" he has control. The attorney gave me ideas on how to word things with him to get him to sign a separation agreement. Control freaks are "not" normal people, they have to think they have the power. Or they'll try and try to abuse it, as he was doing with me, playing me for a fool. Now I have the power, he called last night after I emailed him that I was meeting with my attorney and either he make an agreement to child support and what becomes of the house, or I'll finish the divorce.

I didn't even know what a threat that was, the attorney showed me how much he'd pay in alimony to me $2500 a month until this is settled, plus we'd tie up the house, plus $800 a month in child support, plus back child support. If I want a quick divorce I can get it - I have a hammer over his head and his attorney already filled him in more then mine did... I didn't want to know it all and I didnt' want to ask for alimony or that much child support, he's barely paid anything and he's getting tax write offs as I'm self employed plus for the child. So somehow I'll pray to God about this, and how I can politely handle it. Biblical wisdom - gentle as a lamb but as a serpent - he won't get by with this, nor will his realtor.

Thank you for your wisdom... I'll get to work on this on Monday with his realtor and their broker. That I have to stand up for my little boy - I will.

JPH, one more thing... could you write for me a paragraph or two about what to say to the broker of the company so I can rehearse it. I'm in sales and like to have my "pitch" down before calling? If you have time... Would I call the realtor first just to test her, or the broker? And how would I make sure that the title company writes the check to both of us, would that be in the separation agreement itself? You said the realtor doens't control it anyways.. grrrr.

Here's what I would do about the realtor...write a letter(no call-LETTER) similar to one below and forward a copy to the Board of Realtors. BE SURE to forward it to the Board, if not, it will just be filed away or shredded in hopes that the matter will drop..

Dear Broker,

On January X, 2006, I met with Slimy Sue about the possibilities of lising my home on 123 Smith Street Hometown, FL. After the meeting I was so upset by her behavior and lack of professionalism, I felt that you need to be aware of the behavior of a realtor that represents your firm.

<Next paragraph explain what happened and what she said as you did above. Leave out the guilty looks and just stick to the facts of what was said.>

When she threatened to not list my home unless I signed the Power of Attorney, I was intimidated. She shoved the Power of Attorney in my face and barked out orders to have it notarized. I am not accustomed to such manipulation and was overwhelmed with her aggressiveness.

I would sincerely appreciate you looking into the matter and take particular care in supervising the listing and sale of my home. If you have any questions, you may contact me or my attorney, <name & address.>

Sincerely
Horsey2

cc: Smith County Board of Realtors
John Smith

Now I was a bit theatrical but you get the idea. Reputations are so important in real estate and one bad deal can ruin a realtor and broker's business. Brokers unless they're idiots, are very sensitive about reputations.

Don't call the realtor first and test her. You'll give her the heads up about what is coming and she'll make up stories about you being crazy. Let it hit her before she can concoct a story. Let the broker get the letter the same time the Board of Realtors gets the letter. He can't deny that he got it if one goes to them as well. You may want to send them both registered mail.

Let me explain how this works. The realtor lists the property for sale through the Board of Realtors who oversee brokers/realtors to make sure everthing is on the up and up. Once a purchaser makes an offer to buy your home and you accept the offer, a contract for sale is signed. The buyer then contacts the mortgage company to get the loan to buy the house. The mortgage company does an appraisal and title check on the house, etc. The title attorney performs the title search and will schedule the closing. They then will prepare the necessary papers and call all parties to set up closing. You see after the contract to sell is signed, the realtor has little more to do other than collect their commission check.

When the title company calls to schedule the closing at that time tell them how you want the checks handled. Don't back down and tell them unless the matter is handled, you won't feel comfortable in signing the Warranty Deed (conveys the title over to new owners)or closing statement (they want the closing to take place because that's how they make money-they'll do what you say to make sure the closing is completed...before signing anything confirm that this matter has been handled to your specifications. You have to realize when you get to this point, movers have been scheduled, other closings are scheduled, realtors are desperate to get their money and one kink in the deal throws many people off. Don't mention this before this time. Everyone will be wanting to get the whole thing settled and if you don't mention it until the day before closing, everyone (your Husband esp) won't have time to talk you out of it. If he objects at closing, the heat will be on him to accept it and really how can he. It's your asset as well as his. Protect yourself. They cannot reefuse to do this and if they try, you refuse to sign.

Go there for the settlement. Don't let them talk you into signing the Deed and closing statement beforehand. Let them know that you have every intention of being there in person for the closing and that you never indicated that you had any desire to do otherwise. Mention this in the letter as she'll say that she was offering the POA to keep you from traveling.

Print these posts off so you can refer to them from time to time as it make take a while for the house to sell but then again maybe in just a week or two.

I'll check in from time to time to see if you have any questions. Stick it to her. I hate slimy realtors. They ruin it for everybody else who is trying their best.

What does it say about my husband that he and the realtor were trying to get me to sign this power of attorney? He's the one who looked more guilty, especially since he told me to give the realtor my card and I told him, no they have my email, they email me. I think he told the realtors I'd sign the thing. But why were they insisting on it anyways? They even emailed me copies of it now and then, I ignored the emails and didn't even respond to them. I don't know why I would have to sign it as a part of them listing the house again. He says they said that they wouldn't list it without this being signed. Of course I'm madder at my husband over this then them, but maybe it's true that they were really insisting on making him to get me to sign it. If you were a realtor and knew there was a divorce how would you handle it if the wife had already moved and was never around, this was the first time I even met the broker and I'd met her husband briefly before when I was getting some things. I don't mind signing traditional papers to sell the house, but other then that and to notorize anything? Why? Were they in it together with my husband, he's a banker afterall? Now I remember signing the old papers at the title company as we sold a house two years ago while I was very pregnant, he said the title company made me come to sign them, so this should then be the same circumstances right? I don't think I signed anything about the loan or the new house, he claims I did. Between a baby, a move, a father who died, a separation and likely a pending divorce I can't think straight...

I would have your attorney be a pit-bull and protect your finances.

Is it possible under all of this to figure out finances through a separation agreement rather then a divorce. I don't know why but I'm more comfortable with that even under the circumstances. All the finances would be worked out between his attorney and mine. It's the same as the process of a divorce. Only in my state you can't turn the separation into a divorce until six months later at least, and all the agreements are automatic at the time of a divorce. A counselor at one point told us not to do the separation agreement as we'd wanted to reconcile. My husband still says he does, and is thinking more since I filed. The attorney said that's typical, most women file divorces and men don't think they really will, which is what I think with him. He's been so self absorbed in his own life, he was unemployed, job hunting and almost had to take a job in another state to pay house payments and everything else (we'll not really if he can afford two new cars in the garage). I just don't understand the benefits of separation vs. divorce other then my attorney said a separation is the easy way out without having to go to court if we can work out the terms through us or our attorneys. Yes the attorney can be a pit bull and I could get a lot of out this, but I don't think some of it's fair, I'm self employed and don't show much income as people do who own businesses... but much of it is fair, just at a lesser amount. Guess I have some thinking to do.

Yes do that thinking. If it doesn't seem fair then don't agree to it. You've got one chance to make this right.

I agree this situation with the realtors doesn't speak well for them and him. I'm sure his position at the bank is part of the problem. Mention in that letter that you keep getting e-mails from them insisting on the Power of Attorney. Signing that thing gives your husband the power to do absolutely anything he pleases with your assets. If you were mentally incapacitated I could understand but this is ridiculous.

Let them know that you can't be pushed around and are not stupid to sign such a document. Their continual requests are so bad I can't even describe. They cannot make this a condition of listing your home, shouldn't be involved in personal matters and are breaking laws by doing so. Again, their licenses can be revoked and heafty fines for both them and their broker. Please write the letter to protect yourself.

Remember you don't have to sign anything you don't want to. Read everything you do sign and if it's confusing or suspicious, tell them you want your attorney to look it over. Do you know you have the same amount of power in this situation as he does? Do you think he thinks you're not aware of your rights and that he can sneak something by you? Maybe he doesn't want to go to court as he is afraid a Judge would look at his behavior and penalize him for it. He can't jeopardize his standing in the community. Keep that in mind.

Don't let this stress you out further. Your attorney can handle all matters for you. Let him with instructions to take no prisoners.

Even the separation, it's like a divorce, same financial agreements, he could handle it all, but he thinks I should either divorce him or demand that we work on our marriage. He thinks my ex is just using me for tax write offs, to get the house sold, to manipulate me, the works... he hasn't been serious about reconciling or seeing his kid, he's only driven here once in a year, then he left the state. He even said on the phone neither of us can afford to travel back and forth between states - of course he can afford two new cars though - but once he sells the house it'll all be different because he'll have money. Then he said we could use some of the money to buy a condo here, and I could travel back and forth. I really could as I do most of my work at home and only travel a week every other month, sometimes two. I do well with my business and dont' wnat to give it up, obviously not for more of this messy marriage. He's just showed his true colors over and over, and I'm being a typical woman waiting for him to wake up and change, you'd think he'd even admit he has some issues - everything's my fault, you know how it works... says things about me too. I've traveled the world, run a business, you name it and this man has just seemed like a big manipulator who's really good.