Married 30 years, found out 90 days ago spouse had an affair, with an old girlfriend from 30 years ago. She lives 300miles away so they don't see each other. The affiar only lasted about 6 months, they were together only one time. I confronted him and walked out for two weeks. We are back together he has given her up, (only sex he says), he loves me adn we are renewing our vows next month adn going on a second honeymoon. He has changed. I know they don't correspond. I check his email and phone. She called after two motnhs, I intercepted the call and I know from her message it is over for him. I told him she called and he didn't call her back. He says what he did was wrong and has asked God to forgive him. He tell me constantly he loves me, we hold hands, etc. etc. I know he has changed and I have also. However my problem is the memories of the emails and the phone calls. How do I get over this? will I ever get over it? I have told him that I have these memories and I get scared that he will leave me. He says no chance of that. Even if he does, I have family and friends for support. I want counseling, but it costs and I don't want it from my church. Any suggestions?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I suggest you post on the Recovery forum. The rest of the people are in recovery too, and have all been through similar things. They know exactly what to do to start feeling better again.

Keep in mind that you are still early in this. The Harley's say that it usually takes about 2 years to fully recover from a betrayal.

I think your marriage has a great chance of being fine. But you know what we say around here? We are aiming for a marriage that is BETTER than the one before.