Since I am newly into my 3rd attempt at Plan B, and have admittedly sucked royal at it in previous attempts, I think I could benefit from talking to others who are also in Plan B......I could really use the support.

It helps me to talk to other people, and I'd love to hear how others are feeling in their Plan B's.

-Caren

Plan B is hard.

It is helpfull to see the pattern how you fails at plan B. Could you elaborate each incident with what has happened and why you failed ?.

-rh-

Well before when I was in plan B I was obsessed with what my WH was doing....I was still snooping, I was taping his phone conversations with our DD, and trying to extract what he was doing at all times. Everyone told me this was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself. I stayed in B for a week tops on both attempts.

The messed up thing was is my 1st Plan B attempt was working BEAUTIFULLY, and I was the one who couldn't stay strong.

My WH is not contacting me, he has tried to relay a few messages through DD but I haven't taken the bait, so he seems to have stopped, which is good because I don't like her being in the middle.

I have only asked her one question, and that was today, I asked if she'd talked to her Dad, I was wondering if he was at work today (Thursday's are his days off..but sometimes he works), I needed to go to the store, and the one by his shop is the closest, but didn't want to risk seeing him. He ended up calling her to see how her day was, and she said "Are you at work?" He said "No" So I said "cool"...and ran to the store.

Like I said, the last time I knew every flippin move he made, this time, I don't know a thing. I have no idea what's going on with him. And I realize this is a good thing. It's better not knowing, easier to focus on myself that way.

I'm just so dang lonely.

-Caren

curiosity kills ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I think this time you will be fine. Just hang in there and you should start subtituting your time with activities ... healthy ones.

-rh-

I know....I'm about to go start that Carmen Electra "Strip Aerobics" exercise thing...LOL, My 20 year old DD bought them, and left them with me while she's in Florida...I figure it couldn't hurt, strippers have to have good abs right?? So I'd like that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-Caren

Caren:

I didn't write you off.

When I stop posting to someone, it's mostly because I feel like I can't be of help.

I'll try to catch up and let you know what I think.

I had been thinking about sharing with you (before you posted to me) how to handle missing your WH.

Treat it like a LABOR PAIN..bear with it..knowing that it will be over soon....an inescapable part of the process...

I also told myself: "What am I missing? I didn't have him when he was here. This is my only chance to get him back if ever..."

Caren,

I will admit that I have snooped up a bit on my WH....Mimi is so right. We didn't have our WS while they were here, nothing to really lose at all.

I like your idea of the stripper workout tape!!! WHOO!! Getting into a work-out plan will help you bunches mentally. (I need to take my own advice, here!)

I believe that taking the focus off your WH and putting it on you is something you are going to have to "train" yourself to do. What can you do special for you?

Sometimes Plan B is all about taking it one second at a time. Then other days you are taking it one hour at a time.

My prayers are with you -

Kim

Caren,

I have to tell you how unbelievably impressed I am with you and the way you buckled down and regained your focus tonight.

You are truly a remarkable woman.

Thanks for that, Mimi, it's a great attitude. I'm missing my WH less and although I'm far from being Ms Completely Detached, I'm a lot better than I was.

Thank you Mimi, that's a great way to look at it.

I ended up going ahead, doing the workout tape (I'm pitifully skinny, I need to gain some weight, but I'm far from toned), and I took a bath, went to sleep about 11pm and actually slept 7 hours IN A ROW...

I appreciate everyone's support/input.

God Bless,

-Caren

Froz-

Thank you, I don't know how *remarkable* I am, but I was amazed I could pull myself out of the tailspin too.

Kim-

I appreciate you posting to me, it's nice to have people in the same position letting me know how they deal with the same problems.

RiverTam-

Thanks to you also, you are in Plan B too?

I think we could probably all be a big help to each other.

Well gotta get the kids ready for school, and I have to work at both jobs today, so I have to get my stupid uniform ready for tonight...yick.

Have a good day all, and God Bless,

-Caren

Well folks, off to work.

I hope everyone has a good day, I'm going to try.

God Bless,

-Caren

So, I worked my 2nd job tonight, it's so lame...I can barely stand to go there, but I have to work at least 5 hours a week to be an employee there, and I don't want to quit because I'm sure they'll be times that I'll need to pick up a shift for some extra cash, so I guess I'll just bear with it.

I went and picked up DD11 (DD14 is with her father this weekend) and my neice at my Mom's (my neice is spending the night) and then I needed to go to the store and DD11 was begging me to let her go down and see her Dad, so I had her call to make sure it was okay, then I watched them all the way to the door, and then I walked over to the grocery store, well I was trying to be quick at the store, because I knew that his shop was closing soon and I didn't want to have him coming into the grocery store with DD11, but I haven't been to the grocery store since I moved in, except to buy some pop one day, I've been just hitting quickie marts, so I sorta don't have anything here, so I had to buy some things to eat.

So it was 9pm exactly when I was cashing out (His shop closes at 9pm) and as I'm walking out, He's walking in with the girls, the girls saw me, so I just kept walking and DD must have said a quick goodbye to her Dad and then followed behind me. I didn't even make eye contact, only saw the back of his head, but it was still annoying, I won't do that again. He must have grocery shopped because I was hauling butt trying to get the groceries in the car so he wouldn't come and talk to me, but he must have gone in the store. I won't do that again anytime soon, I was just feeling guilty because she hadn't seen her Dad, although it's not my fault he's the one that elected not to see her this weekend.

I probably looked like an [email]a@#hole[/email] walking so quickly out of the store so he wouldn't talk to me...LMAO Oh well.

I have to work tommorrow night too, but one of DD11's friend's called to see if she could spend the night with her, they are going to Dave and Buster's (A gaming-restaurant) and to the Sheraton to spend the night so the kids can go swimming, so I guess I'm going to go to this Drag Queen show with Jeremy from work.....how hilarious. I can't say I've ever been to a gay bar, much less a drag show, so at least I'll be able to say I've done that. I told him I wasn't going to drink because I have to get up and go to church in the morning, but I don't get many invitations these days so I'm going to go.

Then Sunday afternoon the guy I take care of during the week is having a birthday party at a pizza place (I don't know how that's going to work out because it's 3 hours long and he's always so uncomfortable he's going to be a mess staying in one position that long), it's my birthday Sunday, but we'll just pretend it's not, because I don't want to be 38....we'll just celebrate someone else's..LOL

So anyway, I was slightly shellshocked after seeing the back of my WH's head tonight, but I snapped out of it. I wish I didn't find him so dang hot.....that'd make it easier.

Oh well, I'm doing these exercise tapes and I going to go get my hair cut tommorrow after DD leaves so I shouldn't be anything to sneeze at in the near future.

God Bless,

-Caren

P.S.- Is it a conflict being a christian and going to a drag show?? It seems like it is....should I not go?

Go to the Drag Show. Just don't dress like a guy!
Oh, and no tipping the Drag Queens, that wouldn't be right.

Caren, I'm not saying your doing this, but just think about it. Sometimes we are doing things that we don't even realize we are doing.

Really make an effort to avoid all contact with your H if you are Plan B'ing. No innocent grocery shopping near his work place, that is just asking for a "coincidence" to happen. Don't trick yourself, or rationalize it.

You are doing so good. And you're smart to keep active on your second job. Its a shame it has to be on Friday and Saturday's though.

I'll answer your question from the other thread soon. It's late now (and no.. I wasn't at a drag show, or any other kind of show like that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I actually was at the movies with DS and DD) However, I've been to a drag show, and it was a hoot. Yes, I think "hoot" was a good word for it.

Stay Strong



.

Tom, I won't make the mistake of doing that again. It was, in fact, just that.....a mistake. I knew the entire time in the store....I walked through the store thinking *wrong* *wrong* *wrong*......I actually was doing really absent minded stuff because I couldn't stop thinking that, I almost walked away without taking the 12 pack of Coke I'd purchased and would've left without my change had the cashier not been holding it out. (I was in the self check out lane, but after 9pm the cashier gives you the change, not sure what the rational is behind that one).

I seriously have to keep myself hyper-occupied all the time so that I don't get all depressed...I don't know how long I can keep this pace up before I burn myself out.

I dread going to my 2nd job, I really do, but I force myself to do and instead of calling off or quitting. All day I think UGH!!! I have to go THERE!!! But once I get there it's not horrible. I enjoy talking to the people I work with, they're funny, and it's definitely not a high pressure job, and the managers like me because I'm constantly doing something...I don't just stand around like the kids I work with...they apparently haven't grasped the concept that time goes faster when you are busy.

So basically I have to talk myself into going to my 2nd job...but I know it won't be horrible once I get there...LOL.

Anyway, thanks for checking in on me Tom.

God Bless,

-Caren

So today Brooklyn (DD11....I'm tired of using code, he doesn't even have a computer)talked to Mark (WH) on the phone about going with her friend tonight, and they talked for about 20 minutes, then I heard her say "I won't forget, will you forget?"

Later I said, "What was your Dad asking you if you'd forget?" She said "He said 'Don't forget tommorrow's your Mom's birthday'" She said "I won't forget, are you going to forget?" and he said "No, I won't forget, I'm the one that told you."

I find that weird, I didn't expect that he'd remember (especially since I'm trying to forget). He also told her I'd probably go out tonight since it was my birthday tommorrow.

I also wanted to say something that he told Brooklyn yesterday when she was at his shop. He told her he was getting one of the Dacshunds from there...I'm here to tell you those things are expensive, I can't believe he's going to spend money on that......not to mention we already have 2 boxers that really should be going to the vet, but he can't afford it, AND I've heard that dacshunds have weak backs because they're so long, and the way boxers play is by hitting (pretty hard, hence the name boxer)so I would think they could hurt it's back. And I've heard that they are hunting dogs, and not good with cats (he also has our cat).

So it annoys me on many levels.

Oh well, not much I can do about it.

I think I'm going to jump in the shower and see if I can get my hair cut before I go to work.

God Bless,

-Caren

Caren,

I have 4 doxies myself. Your right you have to be careful of their backs but as long as you don't allow them to jump of furniture and don't teach them to beg by standing on their hind feet they are pretty good with their backs. My oldest one is 12 yrs old and no back problems yet. Yo gotta make sure they don't get overweight either.

we also have 3 cats and my dogs love them.... Don;t know if this makes a difference since you are in planb but just some info I thought I would share with you....


Sounds like you are doing good in planb, keep it up....


Hurting

Caren -



These WH's have funny priorities. Just remember that if he comes asking you for money!! or if he says he can't afford to pay for something child related!

Happy early birthday, by the way. I went into Plan B two days before my birthday! WH couldn't believe that I didn't want him meeting me out with friends for dinner on my birthday!

Kim

Oh, dacshunds are crazy cute, I really like them, I just don't think it's a very prudent thing to do, I'm scared to death the boys (Their names are Anubis and Osiris) will hurt it. The cat is mean anyway, so she was never in any clear and present danger...heck she scares the boxers.

Yeah, remember how I said that he told Brooklyn I would probably go out? Well I talked to her a little while ago at work, and she said "I talked to Daddy....he's getting ready to go out". You know what he's doing right?? He thinks I'm going to go out here in Grove City....because that's where I normally go, so he's gonna go out too, well ha ha, I'm going into Columbus, so he won't be finding me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He did this to me before when we were separated, I'd go out and he'd be everywhere I tried to go, I'd leave bar after bar and he'd just end up being at the next one, so I ended up saying whatever, I can't leave everywhere....and stayed at one he was at....it wasn't pretty, let's just say that. But I'm sure he's missing the SF, he always found me physically attractive (and I him) and we NEVER had any problems in the sack....but so sorry, not gonna happen this time, you have to work for that sh*t. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So I figure by going to a gay bar I'm pretty safe, I won't be tempted to jump on the first guy I see...because, well.....that's what they'll be doing LOL!!!!!!

I had a decent night at work, it was really busy so time went pretty fast. I tried to go get my hair cut before work, but it was too crowded and I only had like a 1/2 hour- 45 minutes before I had to be there, so I just went in early and bought myself a birthday steak...yummmmmm. I get a 40% discount on days I work, so it ends up being really cheap.

I'm so glad that I have plans tonight, that is the icing on the cake, I don't know what I would've done if left here alone....to my own devices....so it's good to have plans. Now hopefully Mark won't be trying to call me tonight, he may attempt that after he gets a few drinks in him.

Well have a good night all, God Bless,

-Caren

Too much knowledge and concern about what he's doing, Caren..

PLAN B IS TOTAL DARKNESS...

Not sure why you asked your DD about the specifics of her conversation with him...