H called tonight and wants to come over in the a.m. He said he wanted to come over after work. (he works midnights). I had not seen nor talked to him in two weeks and wondered how to proceed. I have been doing plan A since December after I found MB. (H has been gone since Nov 05). When he called tonight,he asked mainly about me and how was I doing instead of asking about our children. We have 2 sons(2 and 2 months) together and I also have three more children ages 15, 13, and 11. He seem to ask me a dozen times about how I've been and only once about the kids. That was odd, it is usually the opposite. He seem to ramble on about anything just to make conversation. He also made a comment about him noticing that I have not brrn calling him. (I use to call him quite a bit, but he would never answer my calls and if he did he would be short and say he would call me back. As you know he never did. I got so tired of the rejection and did not want to LB so I stopped calling and waited for him to contact me. Unlike most of you here, I don't know where he has been staying, but I am quite sure it is with OW. The one that he continues to deny exists. Sorry I started rambling and forgot about the question at hand. What should I do or say to him when he gets here? Do I mention him returning home to us again or not? Do I mention anything about our M at all? I am at a lost. Please advise in anyway possible. I need your help!!

Blondie33

Well I can answer one part of the question, Why is asking all the questions about you, You stopped calling him because quite rightly he didnt seem concerned about you.Now all of a sudden your not calling him so now he starts calling you......as to what to say.....aieeeee thats a good one....I can tell you from my experience that chasing after my wife like a lost puppy never helped me, it was only after i stopped pining away after her and took care of myself that she came around.....

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5032a_qa.html

Dont know if youve read this yet, ****** dont know rightly much about links but hope it works..

I wouldn't get my hopes up. Wait until you see what he has to say. I wouldn't talk relationship stuff, just be pleasant and upbeat.

He may be coming to see the children. But I would ask him when he gets there if there is something specific he would like to talk about. Then let him talk. You will then get a feel for where his heart is.

Blessings,
Lady

As to my surprise, H did not show up or called. This is the first time he asked to come over and didn't. Well I did not call him to see what happened he would expect me to. I just continue to live my life to the best of my ability everyday. He is the one that is missing out on our family, our M and our children. I hope that he one day realize he is making a terrible mistake. The only thing that is confusing to me is why is he starting to worry about me calling him he never cared before or just did not mention like he did the other day? When I use to call him he would let his cell phone ring, send it to voicemail, or keep it turned off. He would completely ignore me. To solve that problem, that is why I stopped calling him. I could no longer be treated that way. When he came over a couple of weeks ago, he saw me on my cell, (I knew he was listening to my conversation) and decided to get loud so the person I was talking to know he was around. After that, he asked if he could talk to me for a minute. He made up lies about going to truck driving training and they would be sending benefit information to me for our children and and me. Why would he go to so much trouble to tell me a lie? I asked him if he wanted to stay married or get a divorce, he said it was up to me. I then told him it was a two person decision he said he knew, but never answered the question. What is up with that? Any feedback on this topic would be welcomed from anyone who can assist me in understanding what is going on. Thanks!

Blondie33

I asked him if he wanted to stay married or get a divorce, he said it was up to me.

don't let such delicious opportunities pass you up...

Well if it is up to me...you should answer...

then yes I do want to be married..
to someone whom I love and respect...
to someone who is decent and honorable..
to someone who I can create a warm place for them to fall as they do the same for me...
to someone whom I can share my dreams and desires as I listen their dreams and desires...
to someone who lights the room with their warmth...

yep I do want to be married to someone just like that

what about you dear husband....

ARK

I should have thought of that. Maybe when the opportunity presents itself again I would say it and see what his reaction and response would be. Thanks for the advise.

Blondie33