Wasn't sure if you were serious about your post over at cruise's and Todd's thread...

Yes...I did get divorced..and am remarrying....and will answer questions....D was not my idea....and I was unaware of past affair....

Yes, I'm serious. Don't get dragged into a religious discussion. I think you can be a big help to Todd and Cruise. You have divorced, know what the single life is like, and are remarrying.

I sympathize with Todd, but I think he is making a big mistake to not work on the marriage and give Cruise a chance.

Ok...I was teetering on the edge of being inappropriate on that thread because it seemed to be getting a bit cloudy in there, many different agendas...

I fully understand how Todd feels. I am unsure how I would have reacted to finding out of her PA prior to our divorce and all that went along with it. Finding out after the fact just sort of solidified the entire betrayal of that old relationship...

I was divorced, was an absolute depressed mess, did what we call Plan B because I was ready to kill myself...picked myself up and was very single but refused to be cliché...was dating someone that was very special to me but after everything I had realized I still loved xw...broke up with gf....and it was very..very hard...I wept and meant it..I was scared because I was unsure of xw's motives..I just knew how I felt...so it was "right"....and still is...then the D-days...and you know what? Deep down I still loved her and needed to try...and we have...there are so many that never get that chance....many move on...just fine...I hope that Todd can do that...cruise too....

Thanks believer....

We're getting married in the presence of our best men...our sons 2/17 on the beach at dawn...

I remember your story. I'm so happy to hear of a happy ending. There seems to be so much pain here lately, and not very many success stories.

We still have work to do..and the pain is long standing...

I know myself. If I had found out about xw's PA in 1999 I would have tossed her out, exposed and not have planned A for a minute....I might have taken her back if NC was maintained but it would have been ugly...I have taken care of my anger issues and look at life differently....

to be honest with you, she has a harder time living with her past actions than I do....and it's pretty dang hard for me sometimes....

I think that is what a lot of BS's don't understand - the anguish of the repentant WS. I've talked to enough of them to realize how bad they feel.

That's why, all things considered, I'm glad I'm a BS.

Sendme, I sincerely hope that day on the beach with you and your family is a special and beautiful start to the rest of your lives. I am so happy for you and can't thank you enough for the support you have provided me during these unbelieveably difficult time.

Trust me when I say this...your insight and support on these boards is invaluable so I hope you continue to help those of us during some of their darkest hours. Your XW (soon to be W) is a lucky woman and hopefully you can get her to come on here one day so we can tell her so.

How do you feel about the upcoming wedding? I suspect the feelings and emotions must be different than the first time around. How is you XW doing and what is she feeling.

I think you have a great stroy (with more to come) that should be told since it gives us BS's hope, Not necessarily that we will reconcile with our WS, but that recovery, with or without the WS is possible.

Right now my WW has completely shut me out of her life and thanks to all the support you have given me I know how to handle it better. If it wasn't for people like you on this MB site, we BS's would be lost.

Believer, I agree with you that we seem to be in a cycle of pain and dissapointment on these boards lately. I hope things turn around and we start hearing of more success stories like that of Sendme. With the help of people like you and Sendme, I'm sure we will start to see that happen.

SendMe,

I'm sorry. I am a little confused. Are you remarrying your FWW?

Hope...like any groom I have cold feet, basically I am terrified heck I have a cold lower extremity! I'll be OK....more than ever I am playing for keeps..Hope...you know I am here to help ....please stay in touch....

Trebor..I am marrying my EXwife, a FWW...my story is quite different...We were married 16 years first time...in 1988... first time...

Do you have your story on your past posts. I'd be interested in hearing more.

trebor...I do not have a "my story" thread or post...it would be a very long one!! I posted a lot on Hope this works thread because his story is unfolding like mine with one exception, he knew and exposed his wifes affair. I did not know of mine until long after it had ended and AFTER our divorce....

specific questions ?? Feel free....

Send - I would sure like you to post a synopsis of your story. It would give lots of people here a lot of hope, especially those that don't want the divorce.

I remember that you took a big financial hit, but don't remember the details.

But would sure enjoy hearing how you got back together.

Me to Send. From initial findings your sitch may be very close to mine. I'll try and come up with some specific questions for you shortly though.

Send ,

I myself would love to hear your story. I am about as close to divorce as anyone can get. My WH is so determined... The lies just keep coming....

Thanks ,

Hurting

It will take me some time to pull it all together...15 years of marriage...2 years divorced, separated..very single...reconciliation, recovery from D-day...etc...for me I have to start with my mother...she molded a mess that only I could clean up...

I am humbled by the interest..

Take the time you need send. I think we all have nothing but time on our hands. Yours just caught my interest because of the close similarity to my sitch. Very close.

Sendme ,add me to that list of those would love to hear your whole story. You have given me bits and pieces but I would certainly enjoy reading the whole story.

And don't leave anything out!

SendMe,

I finally have some questions for you and I still hope you post your story.

I see that you have been divorced for over 2 years now and plan to get married again in February. When did she finally break it off with the OM?

Was she the one that approached you about reconcilation?

While divorced did you keep contact with FWW? How did you find out about the affairs afterwards? Was your relationship at this time on a friendly basis?

Thank you for your answers.