I feel very fortunate to have found this site and hope it helps me put my trainwreck of a marriage back together.
What happened?
About 4 years ago, my wife and I were seperated for reasons that I cannot even really remember. Nothing really "serious", probably just immaturity on both sides. I was living with a friend at the time (same sex) and at party being held there, the unthinkable happened. I cheated on my wife. All in all, we (myself and the third party)got together probably 4 times in the matter of about 1 month. The biggest mistake of my life. For sure.
My wife and I got back together, but the relationship was so "touchy" for a while, I never brought up what I had done. I have been packing this around for 4 years. Occasionally, it really bothered me, but I was learning to live with my mistake.
Our relationship has been in a much better state as of late, we have been opening up to eachother more, and there has been a much higher sense of respect around the house. Everything about her and the relationship have been amazing. Except for me, I had baggage. She was asking me about that time we were seperated, specifically, if I had "done anything".
I couldn't help it. I thought if I got it off my chest it would be a good thing. I also wanted to, after 4 years, be completely honest.
I told her.
As you can expect, she is not amused, and I have turned the marriage down another bumpy road.
I need her to believe it hasn't happened since.
I need her to believe in me again.
We are still together, and I am doing all that I can, but I almost don't even know where to begin. I can feel the pure resentment/jealousy/hurt/......even hate from her every time she looks at me. I want to fix the relationship, I hope she wants to as well.....
Any advise, I want my wife/marraige/life back.
I know I screwed up, and I wouldn't have told her if I didn't love her, and think wecouldn't get past it. But on a sick second note, it is nice to not have the baggage......anymore...