longtime lurker here. D-Day #2 was 12/10/05. WH went to live with OW #2 who worked directly under him. he's deep in fogland. talked to Jennifer last week. she says to keep on Plan A and try not to DJ with my tone of voice. WH & i had a good week overall (dinner 3x & SF 3x). exposed to co-worker and supervisor late last week.
OW gets a call at home from another co-worker who says she knows they're living together. now WH wants to file for divorce cause he figures it'll look better at work. i talked to him and got him to agree to put it off and keep going to IC (he just started back) to buy myself some time.
he agreed to keep seeing me a couple of times a week.
he says he still loves me, but that he loves her too. he's conflicted and a real mess. he has boundary problems, & Family Of Origin issues in addition to our relationship issues.

do you think work atmosphere (Fortune 100 company) will help OW to LB? how long do you think this will take...6 months? what is my best plan of action?

computerguruwife,
Sorry for your pain... put on your armour and batten down the hatches as it will be a battle like no other....

"do you think work atmosphere (Fortune 100 company) will help OW to LB? how long do you think this will take...6 months? what is my best plan of action?"

It's never really good if the OW and WS work together....but in your case where they live together.. it may put a strain on the "fantasy" faster.

I've never been afraid of contact when there is a really good Plan "A" going on.... I mean a REALLY good one...

Your WH is torn...he will remain "torn" and you can sort of freeze the progress of the A with a good Plan "A"

Just remember... Plan "B" is not a trick to get your WH back.. most people here will have you in "B" at the first sign of trouble....it's to protect YOUR love for your WH and is VERY hard on the BS....

How long? I think a PERFECT Plan "A" for 6 months is a good time frame to shoot for... Perfect meaning... you LB you start the clock over,,,, try and post more in your signature so we can get a better idea of your story, how long married...children... etc....

Anyway, DO NOT REACT.... EXPECT THE BEST BUT... PREPARE FOR THE WORST....\ GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS.... FRANK

I'll be praying for your Marriage....

Please, I don't agree that people here would have her in Plan B at the first sign of trouble, everyone here actually tried to tell me I wasn't ready when I first attempted it, and I wasn't. Plan A is great, it works really well, and since I don't know computer's story I wouldn't venture to guess what Plan she should be in. But there are dangers if you stay in Plan A too long also........like cake eating.

Plan B is hard, I'm in it now, and it's a last ditch effort....but it's driving my WH up the wall.....Now, I did Plan A FOREVER...I did it for 6 months, then 8 months after I did plan B for like 5 minutes. This time I've been in Plan B for about a week.

So, anyway, I just wasn't sure why you were being so hard on Plan B.....it's usually necessary eventually....

-Caren

Frank,
thanks for your prayers! i'll take all you've got!

can you share some of your story? what made a difference in your situation? (maybe something i could use there.)

thanks!
Pat

There are a few of us on this board who have WS that work for large companies. My feeling is that companies DO NOT care at all. In fact, most of them set up an environment that fosters affairs. As long as the Wayward get 150% of their work done and the company can't be hit with a sexual harrassment or discrimation suit, companies are scarcely bothered. Families? What the heck would that be?

Stay with Jennifer's plan. Good luck.

Caren,
i've been following your Plan B thread. good job!
Plan A is hard...i can't imagine how hard Plan B is.
i just hope WH doesn't file on me anyway, even though he agreed to 6 months of IC first. i know--not up to me!
cgwife
Pat

Grape,
funny thing is--they've told HR and OW had to sign an affadavit that this isn't sexual harrassment. my only hope is that she can get transferred to another dept soon and that he can take disability retirement so that there might be NC.
this will be an interesting week. he's not looking forward to going in tomorrow.

Pat

See, companies only want to cover their a$$. Everybody is just an interchangable part and they don't care where the parts are.

so...no help there?
i'm hoping the "grapevine" (pun intended) will help put some pressure on WH. i just hope he doesn't file like he said he was thinking about today. he is sooo on the fence. he says i've made incredible progress in meeting his needs and reluctantly said he'd give me more time. still swears OW is not pushing him to file.
cgwife(Pat)

All you can do is take care of your end. It seems to be that most WS are too cowardly to file unless pushed. Take it one step at a time. If he files, he files. There are many stories here of people filing for divorces that never happen.

Keep to your Plan A but don't burn yourself out. Put your faith in God not in companies. In general, unless somebody has been cheated on themselves, they will turn a blindeye. Of course, not everybody but a lot. Use your energy wisely.