I've been married for a little over a year. It's been a tough beginning. We moved back to his homestate for my new job. We are staying with his parents until getting on our feet. One of the problems is that he has not found work. My job consisted mostly of training and has just now started to pay off.
My problem is that I am in a new state, no family and I am living with my husbands family.
My husband has been very supportive. He has certain habits that really drive me crazy. All in all, I don't think that it is necessarily him, more so me.
The fact that we are still living with my inlaws is driving me crazy. The fact that I am the only bread winner is really pissing me off. He is a slob and I am sick of living in a tiny room.
I read the article on Love Busters and I seem to be guilty of everything except dishonesty.
I travel weekly with my job and I can't wait to get away sometimes.
What is wrong with me? My husband loves me, respects me (most of the time) but I am miserable!!
The worst part is, I have put on weight and don't exactly feel sexy. Our sex life is basically nothing. My husband has said on more than one occasion that he will not stay with a "fat" wife. Of course, that makes it worse. I am miserable and have been thinking of leaving and finding my own place.
I then realize that I have made vows and have to figure this out.
It isn't just one of us but both of us. I don't know what to do. I feel horrible.
We are both 39 and neither has ever been married before. I am afraid that I am used to my independence.
Does anyone else ever feel like this?

That sounds like a very tough position to be in and is a situation that is putting a lot of stress on a young marriage. Have you talked to your husband about the things that are bothering you? (i.e. No work, in-laws, etc) Are their signs on the horizon of getting your own place? Him finding work? Maybe these issues are overwhelming right now, but you would feel better if you saw improvements in these areas.

I’ve only been married 4 years (together 6.5) and I regret not communicating my feelings better early in my marriage. I carried everything around inside and that build up to discontent that I still feel at times today. Get the issues out in the open. Try to find some resolutions that work for both of you.

There’s no doubt your used to your independence. It seems like in marriage you have to compromise left and right. I always feel like I give into my spouses desires more than I entertain my own. You did give your “vows” and obviously love the guy so you owe to both of you to share the things that are bothering you and work on making yourself happier. You may find he has similar feelings but doesn’t want to share.

Good Luck!

does this work?

ok. he is an a**hole. he should be joining a gym and saying honey lets work out together. not i wont stay witha fat chick. thats bs.

i wouldnt focus on the living situation cause thats temporary. it will change.