Ok, I am not sure what is going on here.I would love some advice.
Here I am: 24 yrs old, stay home mom. I was due last Tuesday with our 3rd child (that totally planned by both my H and myself). We have been married for 5 yrs.
In Nov. my H started acting wierd. He started working a lot. Then he told me that he was not "in love" with me. That he cared about me, but that the feelings weren't there. Shortly after I discovered the affair he was having with his business partner. He is unwilling to end it. Being so pregnant, this whole thing has been very difficult to deal with.
He has gone from telling me that he can never be with this girl, to also telling me that he is in love with her and wants to spend as much time as possible with her (this is our current state).
SO, he now refuses to have sex with me. He says it's too wierd. (OK- I am his wife!) And the last 2 weeks he has avoided coming home at all costs. He'll be gone from 7 am to 11 or 12 at night. He even does this on weekends. Finally after asking him what was going on (I got the "Im so busy with work answer, then I was told that he just doen't want to be around me) I told him that its not fair to the kids. So his current plan is to be home daily from 4-7 pm for the kids only- he even said that. Then after they are in bed he leaves again and doesnt come home until 12 or so. And on weekends, he will take on of them somewhere (zoo, etc) but refuses to just be home with all of us.
Of course I am extra emotional right now because of the pregnancy. I just dont know what I should do. If I should continue to express my care for him and our marriage (since I found out about the affair I was trying to express my love for him more) or maybe I should just let him do whatever he wants. He says when I call him to see what he's doing during the day he 'feels smothered" ..
Can somebody help?
-Indistress

InDistress - You must expose this A immediately. Is the OW married? Expose to her H. Is she single? Expose to her parents. Expose to their co-workers. The A cannot survive in the light of day. Then read Surviving an Affair and His Needs, Her Needs, and begin Plan A. Then post over on GQII, where you can get some help from the MB experts. I am sorry to hear you are going through this right now. But have hope, things will get better!

Thanks for your support. So far I have not told anyone. I am so embarrased- I know I shouldnt be, because it's his actions and not mine. The OW is not married. In fact, she is living here after previously moving here to be with her ex-boyfriend. Now that they are broken up, she knows virtually nobody here. (except my H of course...)
My H has made it clear that he does not want anyone else to know about this. He thinks it will just hurt other people. Part of me thinks he is right, but part of me thinks he is just doing that to protect himself. I am trying to stay on H's good side right now, perhaps that's why I have kept silent. I have conssidered sending an annonymous email out though..

-Indistress

Go to Infidelity Gen'l Questions II. cut and paste this post there. It is much busier over there. Also, Read Heidi1115's thread...exact same situation. It is so similiar it is uncanny.

Mr. Wondering