I have been working very hard to keep up plan A. When ever I see my H I am very nice and calm no LB. He came over last Saturday to see the children (this is what he claims, but he doesn't spend much time with them he is busy talking to me about his job and other things). He said he believe our marriage is worth saving, but has made no efforts to fix it. Of course he is still denying being involved with another woman. He seem to call everyone we know except me. He has not called since we saw each other that Saturday. I have managed not to call me either. It is hard to work on plan A when I don't see or hear from him that often. When he does come over he always stay for about 2 hours and say he has to go to work. He claims he is always working and don't have any days off (yeah right) I already know he is lying. He is always flip flopping with coming home. He seem so sure about wanting the M to work when he is over, then when he goes whereever he is living things change again. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to lose hope. My H has been gone now since November 12th. Please advise!!

H called tonight and wants to come over in the a.m. He said he wanted to come over after work. (he works midnights). I had not seen nor talked to him in two weeks and wondered how to proceed. I have been doing plan A since December after I found MB. (H has been gone since Nov 05). When he called tonight,he asked mainly about me and how was I doing instead of asking about our children. We have 2 sons(2 and 2 months) together and I also have three more children ages 15, 13, and 11. He seem to ask me a dozen times about how I've been and only once about the kids. That was odd, it is usually the opposite. He seem to ramble on about anything just to make conversation. He also made a comment about him noticing that I have not brrn calling him. (I use to call him quite a bit, but he would never answer my calls and if he did he would be short and say he would call me back. As you know he never did. I got so tired of the rejection and did not want to LB so I stopped calling and waited for him to contact me. Unlike most of you here, I don't know where he has been staying, but I am quite sure it is with OW. The one that he continues to deny exists. Sorry I started rambling and forgot about the question at hand. What should I do or say to him when he gets here? Do I mention him returning home to us again or not? Do I mention anything about our M at all? I am at a lost. Please advise in anyway possible. I need your help!!

Blondie33

I think it's essential for you to find out where he is living and who the OW is..

IMO, that should a major priority of yours right now...

The A needs to be EXPOSED..

I have a plan in place. When he came over the last time he was driving a car that he drove before. (he is unaware that I know he has been using that car). I got the license plate number off of it and gave it to a friend at the police station to run the plates. That way I can find out who the car belongs to and the address of where it is registered. (Maybe it belongs to the OW). At least that would be a start. I don't know where he is currently working because he moved from the last place I knew of. (clever of him to asked to be transferred to another security site). I am sure he did that because he know I will follow him and find out where he is going. He also refuses to tell my MIL and FIL where he is staying probably in fear they will tell me. I cannot afford a GPS thingy so that is out of the question. Do you have any other ideas that I can use?

Blondie33

You seem to need money.

Your H has abandoned you.

I think the most important thing for you to do is to seek legal assistance in order to insure that he continues to provide for you and the children.

In response to me needing money, I have a pretty good job that pays well. It was just I was off from work for maternity and did not have much sick/vacation time left because I was ill alot during my pregnancy. As for my H it is obvious he has abandoned my kids and me for this OW that he claims does not exist. As much as I would like to strangle him for doing this, I am leaving it up to GOD to cast his punishment. I also try to remember no LBing is good. How could he believe he will have success in this affair when he has not closed the chapter to our marriage before jumping into something new and unfamiliar? How could he think something good will come out of something that is based on a lie? How can he sleep at night if at all?

IMO, this does not matter. It remains his responsibility to take care of his family and you need to insist that he do so through legal channels.



Blondie, I definitely believe in TRUSTING IN THE LORD. However, the Lord gave us the mind and will to take care of ourselves. HE first wants us to do all that we can do. HE gave us that POWER...



A major part of PLAN A is gaining your self-respect. Your WH needs to perceive of you as valuable and worthy.



A WH is not THINKING...but you are...

I encourage you to begin to take care of yourself and your family...

THIS IS PART OF PLAN A....