Maybe I'm trying to get this to work out too hard and am smothering her a bit. Last night while we were talking I asked her what makes her "cringe", looking for an LB that I can make sure I don't repeat. She said it really irritates her when I talk about us getting back together, and discussing all these issues, as well as when I try and kiss her and hold her.

That hurt. I want nothing more than to be close to my wife right now and am not even allowed to do that.

I also got the city the OM is living in from her last night. I had him narrowed down to one of two guys in NC. One is married and the other is living with his parents. I wanted to make sure I sent the letter to the right one.

I'd hate to have sent it to the house of the married couple and it be the wrong person. As it is, she told me but doesn't want me to contact him. Imagine that.

I told her I would anyways and that I'd handle it like a grown up and in a very Christian manner. I know this guy's not the center of our problems, he's simply a manifestation of deeper issues between me and her. However, there's no way she'll see the potential of us getting back together as long as he's still in the picture.

God I just want to hold my wife right now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


FN

Some people might advise you not to push the affection issue, I don't know. For myself, I used the hit-and-run method. Smooch 'em and split before they know what happened. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It takes time for her to get to a point where she'll be able to handle your affection. My wife had the same issues when she was in withdrawl.

Has she agreed to NC? If so, what active steps have been taken to help her meet her end of the bargain? (i.e...how is she keeping from falling back into the temptation of resuming contact? are you able to spot check her?)

I don't remember your story friend. It helps to have a single thread going that people can refer back to if they get lost like I am...hehehe.

Sorry, here's my one history thread, I'll try to keep everything in there from now on - FourthNail's One History Page of So...Redemption and Restoration in the Making

FN