He called me from his work after I posted this morning, and asked me to bring him lunch to work. So I did, we talked, and I tried to explain, and he shushed me saying I didn't need to explain, and that he doesn't really care. I'm wondering if he has something to come clean with, and perhaps this is why he doesn't have a reaction. Then he carried on with talking about normal everyday stuff, and kissed me good-bye, and told me he'll see me tonight. Everything is NORMAL...I hate it. I want a reaction, I NEED a reaction...makes me feel like I'm right about my feelings of him not really loving me anyways. I feel like choking him. I want to vent, but I don't know how right now, I'm frustrated, and confused and I feel like I shouldn't have told him. And you're right Airheart, I think it turned him on, because after I told him, he came on to me, and I felt compelled to be with him, and well, he had a very good time.<BR>Now what do I do? How am I supposed to deal with this? I should have just kept it to myself...I feel like I won't ever want to tell him anything again.

Arrgh! Benna, I know how hurt you must feel. Does he really even love you? I don't know the answer to that... Did you ask him if he still loved you? Did you try to express that you're wondering why he doesn't care? You said he shushed you... Are those the questions you were trying to ask? <P>It's obvious to me (although I'm no expert) that he has some kind of sexual hang up. I'm not sure if he's addicted per se, but he's got some issues... Something must've happened to him at a young age. Maybe he can't really connect to any woman except on a sexual level. <P>Maybe you can look into some support type thing for that, like check out some webpages or something? It could be his behavior is typical for someone with those sorts of problems. I think trustntruth suggested a few websites, didn't she?<P>--andy

I am so sorry that things didn't work out the way you hoped, but I DO think you were right to tell him. Maybe it's the best thing you could have done in order to see how he really felt about you. You can never move forward without honesty. I really hope something happens tonight to give you some insight. Keep us informed. I'm going to support you and anyone else who decides to be honest no matter what mistakes you may have made in the past. We are all human! Lots of love.<BR> -K

Benna - I'm sorry. This is really icky (bad word, I know, but I couldn't think of a better one.) <P>What do YOU want to do? What would you like to happen now? That's where you have to start, I think. Deciding for sure for yourself and then present it to him.....<P>There are definitely some BIG problems here, but you have to know what you want before you tackle them. There was a post here not long ago - or maybe a long time ago - my mind's not right lately titled "Ladies, we have to KNOW what we want." Take a look at it. <P>Hang in there.<P>Lori

Benna--<BR>Deep down your husband has to care...keep talking to him about it...maybe he will open up. Find out why he seems to be so okay with this. Do you think he's hiding something himself?<P>My husband was playing solitare on the computer when I walked out the door and told him I was leaving him for the OM. He didn't seem to care...after weeks of talking about it he finally showed some hurt he was feeling.<P>Pam

I don't know what I want to do, I think I'm gonna just think about this a while. My first instinct is to choke him, MAKE him mad at me...I feel I need him to resent me for this so that we can fix it, without any resentment, there is nothing. Nothing. On the other hand, I just want to pack up an leave...but then again, I want to finish this, I don't want him to think I left because of my infidelity, but rather because of his actions towards me, and his attitude with our marriage. HE SHOULD CARE DAMMIT!! And that's all there is to it! It erks me to no end that he doesn't!<P>Holly,<BR> Hmmm...no, he's different than that, I can tell when he's hiding feelings from me, or at least I have been able to in the past. I honestly can say that it truely doesn't phase him. He's the type that will throw it back in my face whenever we have our next stupid fight over something. That's how he pays me back...like kindergarten fighting.<BR> <BR>