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I know you're right Mimi......did you ever just feel that way though?? I just woke up all nervous.
Oh well, today is day 6.....he/I have only ever lasted this long in the past in my Plan B....so I'm going to count the end of this weekend as a milestone! (How lame that a week is a milestone).
The calendar thing really does help....I don't know why every day seems like a year to me when I'm doing this, but it does. This way I'm better able to keep it in prospective.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Caren, The pool comment was pointed at your signature line. You reference pool in it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ROFL. That's why I don't have a sig, everyone ignores them! Don't sweat the small things. If he is gonna trash your marriage over a little action here or there, you really aren't gonna make it. His BIG decision to have an A far outweighs the little things. I remember fearing every little word I said also, and my fww's reaction to them. NOW, looking back, I can honestly say, I wish I would have said alot more harsh things than I did. I wish I would have been much more dominant about certain things. I wish I would have forced a stronger hand against her participating with our children at her leisure. They aren't tools...but, they are my kids. Busy day at work, I will chat more later.
9 years now ... and some days you still say grrr!
Hang in there.
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Okay.....today WH got wind of me starting at the gym Sunday....and he's on the warpath.
Apparently going to the gym is synonymous with dating, because he text messaged me to say "Let the dating begin".
WTF is his problem?
I am not going to dignify this BS with a reply.
I actually needed to text him regarding Brooklyn and school....but screw that, I'll handle it myself.
Yeah, and as if my going to the gym means he can *start* dating....give me a fricken break. Yeah....cuz you're sitting home alone right now, right.
Whatever.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Well on cutting down communication between my husband and Brooklyn, I decided to turn the ringer on the upstairs phone off and *accidentally* leave the other phone downstairs by the laundry.....I had both ringers off, but I decided that I didn't want Brooklyn OR Mark to find out about that.....it would appear hostile, so anyway the phone was sitting here on the computer desk and I can see it keep lighting up OVER AND OVER AND OVER with his number....so I walked it downstairs turned the ringer on and came back up.
He's calling my cell phone too.....awww isn't that a shame....you don't have access to me day and night.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Yes. Definitely do not respond. One of my favorite places was the gym during PLAN B. My FWH tried to catch me there and I was able to dodge him by changing my workout hours.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Ignore his craziness..and that's what it is, Caren...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Mimi-
What do you think of the ringers off thing??? I know it's sort of passive agressive, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her about it yet, and she has a friend over(so now's not the time), I just thought this would most likely be the best way to handle it.....at least for the evening.
Wouldn't it be sad if she fell asleep before she remembered to call her Dad tonight? I mean I am not going to stop her from calling him, I'm just not going to remind her.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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It's your house. You can do what you choose to do with your phones!! BOUNDARIES.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Arrrrrrrrrrrgh.....she found the dang telephone.
So now Mark has called here twice, once to *talk to her about her day* and now he's calling trying to talk to me....no dice.
OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!! He seriously just called here and had her come out into the kitchen and say "Daddy said since your going to the gym he's going to go out and find him another piece of @$$" Are you F-ing kidding me?!?!?!?! I took the phone and hung up on him.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Now he's called back and she grabbed the phone. She started saying "No Daddy! I have a friend here, I want to play with her!"
I took the phone out of her hand and said "If you'd like to call your daughter and talk about father-daughter things fine, BUT DON'T CALL HERE AND HAVE HER RELAY MESSAGES!!" and I hung up again.
He hasn't called back yet.
God Bless,
-Caren
Last edited by CarenMc; 02/24/06 11:03 PM.
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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UGH! I feel like I'm going to throw up.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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This is seriously sickening me, I feel like I could cry. WHY?!?!?!? WHY WHY WHY?!?! Isn't this the person who just told me a few weeks ago he missed his family and loved me and didn't want to lose us?? Isn't this the same guy that needed to *fix* everything?!?! Is this how he fixes things?? Is he just in pain from my Plan B?? Oh my gosh I can't take it. God Bless, -Caren <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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"Daddy said since your going to the gym he's going to go out and find him another piece of @$$" Caren, I just read a small bit of you sitch. WOW!!! I can't believe your WH is talking to DD that way. Boundary time. Suggestion....All talks between DD and daddy with a 3rd party now, not you Caren...no more phone contact...how about 3rd party being clergy? counselor? Lady
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He must be drinking....I can't believe he just said that through her....I'm completely disgusted.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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(((Caren)))
Take a deep breath. Try and calm yourself. I have read some on your situation and I have read your posts tonight. I just didnt want you to feel you were alone.
Makes you wonder what goes on in their minds huh?
I think he is not liking this plan B and is trying to get to you. But I am not an expert.
I just wanted you to know you were not alone tonight. If you want to yell here, I will listen.
Cathy
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
WH-42/BS-41(Me)
Married 23yrs
S21, S19, D13
PA-7/04-now
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Steady Caren. You are handling this well. Know how I know? Because he is becoming unlgued.
But, I caution you to get back to the best part of Plan B. That is control and peace. As Mimi pointed out, you need to get those boudaries up a little higher. And then relax and get on with your life.
Plan B should be restful. You are still seeking the drama. Stop it! The best thing I saw in your posts was when you told him not to relay messages. AWESOME!!
In His arms.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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I'm so wound up, I don't even know what to do with myself.
In the past I would have nailed him to the wall for something of this calibur....but I don't even know what to do with this. I mean I YELLED at him when I told him not to relay messages through her. I couldn't disguise my disgust.
I guess that was an AO?? I dunno...a person can only take so much.
I don't think I can communicate through a 3rd party...hopefully this was just a huge, glaring error in judgement.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH wow....now I just looked at my cell phone. He has text messaged me 3 times.....it says.
"What are you going to the gym with your new boy toy?"
then same message repeated (he must have thought I didn't get it)
3rd message: "B*TCH"
Really, really fricken nice.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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I suppose he's expecting me to reply to these messages....not gonna happen.
I don't think I'm seeking the drama....how am I doing that???
I don't even UNDERSTAND the drama.
This seems to really escalate on the weekends....not sure why. Guess 'cause he rattling around in the house alone with no family....or maybe it's because he thinks I'm too busy during the week for my *boy toy*.....I'm so sure I have a boyfriend.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Stop it Caren. You know how this all works. He is trying to blow apart your Plan B.
Get out o the drama. You know why he is saying this stuff and doing this stuff. So stop trying to make it more than it is.
In His arms.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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*Breathing*
You're right Mortar....thank you.
Ridiculous!
Thank goodness you guys are here to keep me straight...I tend to start to over-analyze.....
You're correct, I've been here....I know what this is.
I *feel* like defending myself, but I know there's no use, and I haven't given ANYONE any reason to deem me untrustworthy. I have morals...I'll stand by them and have dignity and stop. (I guess even if he doesn't *KNOW* I'm participating in the drama...I still am)
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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He's still calling.....I can hear the cell vibrating (No way to turn that off).
I'm going to bed....I can't handle anymore of this tonight.
There's a voice message that I don't even wanna listen to on the cell.....just letting sleeping dogs lie.
Night all.
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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